I want to proclaim my reversion to Islaam

[Ibrahim_K]

Wa'salam aleikum

I have done many sinful and evil deeds since my reversion to islaam. However I want to become a better person and repent for my sins even those I've begun lately because I truly frown upon my own criminality. I truly want to repent but I have a problem. I'm doing a guide for myself from which I can easily and according to all rules pray to Allah daily on right time, and until I get money to pay zakat I will look for the right cause to give away money. Like the Red Cross, Amnesty or GreenPeace.

However, I cannot tell people just straight up that I have converted to islaam. It will make them wonder how sane I am just from one moment never mentionening anything about islaam and then just suddenly proclaiming a muslim religious conversion.

Should I say that I read the Q'uran when I was hospitalized recently (which I actually did) and spoke to several muslims (which I actually did) about religious matters and I got a more innerly religious open mind towards islaam. Or should I just stand there with a Q'uran and say that from now on I'm a muslim. I live in a home for mentally challenged people (suffering from several personality disorders), and I don't think they have the right to challenge my decision.

I need help telling them and my family that I wont eat pork and don't want to be disturbed during salah-times.

 

[AishaRayann]

As salam alaikum brother,

I've been in your shoes to some extent.I have bipolar disorder (supposidly),borderline personality disorder,ptsd...my family though i was going "through a stage." at first..i flip flopped around from wearing abaya to regular clothing..unsure of who i am because what everyone was telling me about myself..i finally stopped listening to them..now im becoming a more aware of myself my actions..my responsibilities as a muslim woman...and im claiming more and more everyday of who i am..i never doubted my beliefs in Islam..just cared too much for what people said..dont let these worries affect your belief...let them think what they want..and when they see it isnt a "stage." they will take you more seriously. as for the personality disorder..im not sure which u have..theres many different kinds..but i can you Islam has helped me more than any kind of therapy ever..not that im saying you shouldnt get therapy..because if its there for u..then take it..but ive learned to submit to Allah.. and it completely puts you a different mind state..have hope brother.Claim your Deen.and Live happy life

Wa alaikum salam, AIsha

 

[Ibrahim_K]

Wa'aleikum salam sister

I have schizoid personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder and paranoid personality disorder all falling under the diagnose borderline-psychotic disorder. Not borderline as in borderline but on the verge of psychosis and stress sensitive reactions leading to psychotic symtoms.

Yesterday I told the people around me that I follow the muslim guidelines considering prayer and they didn't react only "Jasså" (in Sweden "well well".)

 

[AishaRayann]

as salam alaikum brother..thats good to hear!! See not so bad..we tend to think the worst...but that not true at all most time..9 out of 10 times ne ways..always think positive I know its harder when you have mental illness too..you know..surely there is great place in Jannah for which those who have suffered such hardships as us..the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) suffered many hardships..you know when i feel down I read to this verse in Quran and feel better..maybe good idea for u too when u feel things arent going right for you..just a sugguestion..

(Surah Al-Araf 7:156) Those who follow the messenger, the Prophet who can neither read nor write, whom they will find described in the Torah and the Gospel (which are) with them. He will enjoin on them that which is right and forbid them that which is wrong. He will make lawful for them all good things and prohibit for them only the foul; and he will relieve them of their burden and the fetters that they used to wear. Then those who believe in him, and honour him, and help him, and follow the light which is sent down with him: they are the successful.

 

[Abz2000]

May Allah reward you for your posts brother and sister, although i'm not einstein, i can say this, don't just think about what ignorant people may think of you, think about what humble decent and good people will think of you, and ultimately think of what your creator will think of you,
when two wolves and a sheep vote over what's for dinner - you know after the dinner that the vote was just a formality.
i would also advise that you don't keep talking about it in front of pessimistic people until you've strengthened yourself, as this creates a negative perception for you to deal with and can adversely affect you,
neither should you strive to hide it,
let people see the change for the better it creates within you as it has worked a miracle for me (i'm not boasting - i just know that i am more considerate and thoughtful now than before - due to the guidance of Almighty God).
don't strive to act it out in order to put up a show as that can leave you feeling empty and wanting to please others, ultimately forgetting your aim of attaining a good personality with guidance from the one who created you and knows your past present and future (try finding someone better than that to take advice from if you can : )
look after the commands of Allah, and Allah will look after you - watch.
also - when you try to please everyone - you'll often find yourself being buffeted around different states of mind, and in the end - everyone laughs at you,
don't become a character to please them, develop your own character and you'll see them reflecting more.
peace

 

[Abz2000]

also - regarding the mistakes you've made before and since you accepted the guidance, know that there is no person on earth that doesn't make mistakes, those mistakes should make you realise the depths of evil and make you a better person, don't become weak and faint-hearted, just regret making the mistake use it to your benefit and see it as a reminder of how evil evil really is,
i remember this hadith often when i've done something wrong and feeling ashamed to stand before God in prayer,
“All human beings are sinners; the best of the sinners are those who repent.” (Ibn Majah, Zuhd, 30)
“If you were not to commit sins, Allah would sweep you out of existence and would replace you by other people who would commit sins, and then would ask forgiveness from Allah.” (Muslim, Tawbah, 9, 10, 11)
Islam is a religion of nature. In Islam, it is accepted that man might commit sins and he is taught the ways of avoiding committing sins. The way of getting rid of the sins and crimes that have been committed and being purified of spiritual impurities is repentance. Thanks to repentance, a person becomes free of the sins and mistakes; he becomes as clean as if he has not committed those sins. As a matter of fact, the Prophet said the following regarding the issue, “A person who repents from his sin is like the one who has never committed that sin.” (Ibn Majah, Zuhd, 30)

38 : 17

17. Isbir AAala ma yaqooloona waothkur AAabdana dawooda tha al-aydi innahu awwabun
Disregard what they say for the time being and remember our bondsman David, the possessor of strength who constantly returned to Allah!
Prophet David (may peace be upon him) is described as being awwab which is someone who constantly goes back. Ibn Kathir says, ‘He would go back to Allah in all his affairs’. Awwab is used in the Quran mostly to refer to the repentant. Dawud would always repent to Allah for anything great or small. Ash-Shawkani said, ‘He would constantly turn back to Allah from anything that Allah disliked. This is only possible if someone is strong in his religion’. This last part of the ayah is a causative statement. In other words the fact that Dawud constantly turned back to Allah was the cause for his strength in worship. Such was the state of the Prophets in their relationship with their Lord.
remember that there's always time to regret past evils and forgiveness is open till death - and you don't know when you're going to die (could be as you speak just as it could be forty years away) and continually falling into the same fault means that your brain has built strong paths which increase liking that deed and hence stimulate your opiates, these paths are always there but become stronger with repetition and weaker with time when you avoid even thinking about it which can cause a trigger effect. i hope i have made a positive contribution and not rambled too much, if there are any mistakes they are mine, if there is any good it is from God Almighty
peace