Wa-Alaikum Assalam Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu,
It is okay to ask such questions because sometime the answers may help not only you but many others.
The answer to your first question lies in the following verse:
Remember this life is a test and Allah test different people with different things. Allah tests some people with poverty, others with emotional distress, others with illness, and yet others with prosperity and fame. How come prosperity is a test? When things are going well, we tend to forget about Allah and the Hereafter, and death, and as a result we may lose the most precious thing to a believer – eemaan (faith) .
Overall, life is test for rich people to see how they spent their money and do they take care of poor and needy people around them. It is test for poor people to see if they can still hold on to their belief in Allah. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The poor will enter Jannah five hundred years before the rich."
[At-Tirmidhi, who classified it as Hadith
Sahih].
وعن أبي هريرة، رضي الله عنه، قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: " يدخل الفقراء الجنة قبل الأغنياء بخمسمائة عام" ((رواه الترمذي وقال: جديث صحيح)).
Reference: Riyad as-Salihin 487
In-book reference: Introduction, Hadith 486
English translation: Book 1, Hadith 486
Scholars say that rich people who will enter paradise will be delayed because they will have to give an account of their wealth and blessings which will take longer compared to poor people who were not blessed with much in the worldly life.
In Islam, there are two main categories of qadr that we must understand, which are qadr of mubram and qadr of mu’allaq. Qadr of mubram means provisions that have been decided and cannot be avoided or change. This qadr is already determined or decided and it must occur or happen, which cannot be changed again, and Muslims must accept it sincerely. Qadr if Mu’allaq means provisions that are hung or linked. It is a type of qadr in Islam that also means provisions of Allah SWT which is still possible to change by effort, hard work, prayer, and human resignation.
Let me explain with some examples:
- Born: When living creatures including human beings born in this world, we cannot change when and how we are born in this world. One can't put an effort to be born in a rich or poor family etc. (mubram)
- Death: Living creatures live and die almost every day. As Muslims we must already know that a death cannot be changed, we cannot avoid it. When our time comes and Allah had determined us to be dead, there is no one who can escape it. (mubram)
- Gender: We cannot change our gender no matter how hard we try. Even there are several people who are trying to change their gender by plastic surgery and so forth. The outcome will be no different, those people will never achieve any gender that they want since there is a special ability for each gender that cannot be swapped away. (mubram)
- Judgment day: Allah SWT had determined when the judgment day will come. As a good Muslim, we only could believe in Him and cannot perform anything to change that provision. (mubram)
- Property: If now we are poor, we can change it by working or doing anything to get money. There are a lot of opportunities for us to change that provision as long as we put an effort toward it. (mu’allaq)
- Career opportunities to move up the ladder: If we want to achieve a better career opportunity, we can perform best in our work in order to get the promotion. (mu’allaq)
- Health: Some sickness, illness or disease can be avoided. But, if you are a dirty person, it will give you more chance to be contaminated by a virus or bacteria. So, prevent ourselves from getting sick by performing sport or exercises is also the types of qadr in Islam. (mu’allaq)
- Knowledge: A Muslim who wants to be able to read Al-Qur’an will never get what he/she wants if he/she does not try to practice reading Al-Qur’an. (mu’allaq)
- A partner or mate is also the types of qadr in Islam. No matter how much effort you put to find your mate or partner if Allah does not give you permission to be married yet then you would not be getting married. A mate is also a form of qadr of mubram.
I hope this helps you to understand what you can change with your effort and dua and what you can't change.
Now your provisions has been written down which is clear from Quran ( see verses 2: 36 & 67:15) for reference.
But we also know that hadith mentions that Allah increase the provisions and life for those who keep ties of kinship.These don't contradict that Allah has already written our provisions. Allah already knew that you will be keeping ties of kinship with your close relatives and it is because of that knowledge, Allah has already determined that your provisions will increase. Let me give an example ( and this may be true for many people). When I started my job, I was single and was barely making anything ($10-15/hour). I started sending money back home, within few months, I was able to make $20-25/hour. I got married, and my Rizk increased. Allah blessed me with kids and Alhamdulliah, I have always been generous in spending money on my parents, siblings, kids and wife, in laws etc. And alhamdulliah I now make, 4-5 times more. I am not a smart person and I know that all of this is because Allah has increased by provisions because I have been good to my relatives. This is nothing to boast about. I just think, it would help you to understand the concept.
As I mentioned above that partner and mate is also part of your destiny which is not entirely in your control. You will get married only when it is written for you and you will end up marrying only with one Allah has already written for you. But this does not mean that you should not put an effort to find your partner. You should definitely look around in your community or make a profile online and start the process. Do istikhara and keep asking Allah to help you find the right partner. When time is right, things will happen automatically.
