anonymous
Anonymous User
- Messages
- 4,134
- Reaction score
- 133
Assalamu Alaykum wr wb,
As i write this my eyes redden and fill with tears, no matter how much i would like to deny every bit of it is true. earlier on today i went throught the book "the ideal Muslimah" only to find i was hated, hated by my lord hated by our prophet Muhammed (saw).
I have tried to change but it just isnt that easy, things that i wanted to do before i read the book, i can no longer do im thinking twice about it.
In the book it puts low those who are...
1) over weigt -
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
2) ugly
3) Dumb
4) Bad hygiene etc...
This list mostly relates to me and the person whom i am, i question Allah why i am like this only to see that the fault is with me. I am sorry, i didnt mean to be like this and no i dont want to be like this but i cannot help it. I just have no motivation.
I am Over Weight and still a teenager yet wish to get married in the near future, but i know that it is not possible, because i am ugly, dumb, have limited knowledge about islam and have bad personal hygiene.
Each time i try to change and i fail i loose motivation, and stop praying. Just sit their and cry my eyes out.
Sometimes i wish i would just die, but then no, i dont want to die just now, because if i do i know for certain i will not go to Jannah, so i try to be a better muslim pray, but i wont last a week till i go back to my old self again.
I need help I need motivation, i just cant do it, im fed up with everything in this like, and today just pulled the last trigger. not being loved by my mother (dont live with my father) was bad enough, but now living a life knowning that the one whom created you hates you for who you are hurts, it hurts real bad.
As i write this my eyes redden and fill with tears, no matter how much i would like to deny every bit of it is true. earlier on today i went throught the book "the ideal Muslimah" only to find i was hated, hated by my lord hated by our prophet Muhammed (saw).
I have tried to change but it just isnt that easy, things that i wanted to do before i read the book, i can no longer do im thinking twice about it.
In the book it puts low those who are...
1) over weigt -
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
2) ugly
3) Dumb
4) Bad hygiene etc...
This list mostly relates to me and the person whom i am, i question Allah why i am like this only to see that the fault is with me. I am sorry, i didnt mean to be like this and no i dont want to be like this but i cannot help it. I just have no motivation.
I am Over Weight and still a teenager yet wish to get married in the near future, but i know that it is not possible, because i am ugly, dumb, have limited knowledge about islam and have bad personal hygiene.
Each time i try to change and i fail i loose motivation, and stop praying. Just sit their and cry my eyes out.
Sometimes i wish i would just die, but then no, i dont want to die just now, because if i do i know for certain i will not go to Jannah, so i try to be a better muslim pray, but i wont last a week till i go back to my old self again.
I need help I need motivation, i just cant do it, im fed up with everything in this like, and today just pulled the last trigger. not being loved by my mother (dont live with my father) was bad enough, but now living a life knowning that the one whom created you hates you for who you are hurts, it hurts real bad.