Alhamdulilah of course you're alive.
Every time you hear or feel negativity, please do the following;
1. Seek refuge with Allah and give up these thoughts completely, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded.
2. Remember Allah and control yourself and do not continue to think of these whispers.
3. Occupy yourself with worship and doing good deeds, in obedience to the command of Allah and seeking to please Him. When you devote yourself completely and seriously to worship, you will forget about these whispers, insha Allah.
4. Frequently seek refuge with Allah and make du’a (supplicate) to free you from these whispers. I ask Allah to keep you safe and sound, and protect you from all evils.
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When you say. "slash myself", i hope you don't mean physically harming your body. Am sure you know, but in case you don't know, self-harm is haraam. It is a forbidden act whether that's in the form of mentally torturing yourself or physically.
Our body is a gift from Allah swt and we should treat it as such. I know as humans we tend to overlook the physical capabilities we do have but am sure if we were physically impaired in any way, we would be more grateful for our bodies.
If you have time listen to 'self-image psychology', which can be found here >>
In sha Allah.
May Allah swt give you the strength to fight evil Ameen.