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Thread: I'm in a state of dilemma!
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Sister.12

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Aoa,
I'm in a state of dilemma and I don't know what to do. I thought to share my problem here so I can get some good advice.
Don't take me wrong but I liked someone. When my parents started looking for a spouse I told them my choice but they didn't consider it because that boy had some different views about religion. But Alhamdolillah we both belong to Muslim families. So my parents didn't agree and I was married to someone else forcibly. But as the time passed they got to know some hidden realities about the family of my husband. They lied about some serious things. That man I was married to was suffering from some severe medical conditions so at the end I took divorce.
Now it's been a year since I'm single and again my parents are looking for a spouse. I told them that you can consider that boy I like but they won't listen to me. I'm afraid that I'll be forcibly married again because I told them that don't look for spouse but still they do and you know all the emotional blackmailing can happen and change everything.
I want to ask you all that keeping in view all the things that happened with me should I stick to my decision or do what my parents say? I don't want to put my happiness at stake but at the same time I also don't want to hurt my family.
 
:wa:



what's so wrong with the boy u like ? Does he want to marry u ? Offer Istekhara salat about him . If u have positive sign , then talk to any relative who can convince ur parents.

Forced marriage is not allowed in Islam but sadly it happens all the time

may Allah grants what is best for u sis.
 
Where I live now, a woman who had been married before and is now single again is no longer under any obligation to follow anyone's command where her next marriage is concerned. She is basically a free woman and can make her own choices. I think the best example would be Khatijah, the first wife of the Holy Prophet who made her choice to marry him.
 
Actually we belong to different firqa's in simple words. He wants to marry me and his family also wants the same. But my parents won't agree because they don't want to marry me outside firqa. You can say because of family pressure. I talked to my close aunts about this but they also said what everyone else said. I don't know what option do I have left?! I'll in sha Allah do istikhara.
JazakAllah
 
I belong to Pakistan and here a women is always dependent first on her family and then on her husband. Islam gives complete right to women to make their choices but it doesn't happens all the time and this is so unfair imsad
 
Sister.12 said:
Well I belong to ahmadi firqa and he doesn't.
Click to expand...

It is actually a different religion (if it can be called that), not a different sect within Islam. If you do not believe that Muhammad :saws:, who was born in Makkah and died in Madinah, was the last and final messenger of Allah, and you believe that mirza ghulam ahmad of qadiyan (la'natullah alaihi) was a Prophet after him, then you are not a Muslim, and you are not allowed for him in marriage anyway.

Unfortunately, many Ahmadis/Qadiyanis/Mirzais are unaware of what is in their books and what their religion teaches. Have a look at the following post:

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134315244-marriage-help-2.html#post1541561

The most important thing is correct hidaayat (guidance) for yourself, embrace Islam, and only then can the issue of marrying this person enter the equation. Even if he knows you are an Ahmadi and is willing to accept that, if he marries you as is, his marriage will be invalid.

But before you consider your marriage please urgently consider the issue of your destiny in the hereafter, for that is far more important. No marriage to any man can save anyone then. We will stand before Allah alone. But you must not just do this for marriage, but because you truly repent, and because belief in Islam comes truly and willingly from your heart, for yourself, not for any other person.

Will you do that, and will you allow us to help you learn?
 
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