as many of you may be aware, my family is a part of the Gulen movement. I am angry at the Gulen movement's treatment of me, as they have kicked me out of many of their activities, the former lead imam and many others hate me, among other reasons...let me tell you the reasons...
1) when it was the summer after 7th grade, I was at one of the religious camps....this was back in 2012.....everybody was fighting each other, and my best friend was being bullied.....I tried my best to defend him....when it was finally time to leave, some guy lost his iPhone, and they said we would have to stay to look for it....when I asked how long it would take, they said, "maximum 1 week" I lied and said I threw the iPhone in the lake....they eventually found out I was lying.....they banned me from all camps, from all mentorship (or, in Turkish, "abilere gitmek")
2) I had a crush on the imam's daughter, and when he yelled at me for talking to him about her too much, I insulted him on social media, feeling hurt how harshly he yelled at me....
3) issues with talking to children because I can not relate to my peers, issues with girls because it is easy to violate gender segregation because there are open areas....and one boy my age threatened me over the phone when I told him over facebook his sister looked "cute" (she was 6 for goodness's sakes....I didn't mean it in a romantic way...)
I also have an issue with gulenists like my father and a family friend being suspicious of all non gulenist Islamic sects....fearing they'll be extreme....
I want to leave, but the only things keeping me are 1) most of my family friends are gulenist and 2) it will be more difficult for me to get married....
what should I do?
1) when it was the summer after 7th grade, I was at one of the religious camps....this was back in 2012.....everybody was fighting each other, and my best friend was being bullied.....I tried my best to defend him....when it was finally time to leave, some guy lost his iPhone, and they said we would have to stay to look for it....when I asked how long it would take, they said, "maximum 1 week" I lied and said I threw the iPhone in the lake....they eventually found out I was lying.....they banned me from all camps, from all mentorship (or, in Turkish, "abilere gitmek")
2) I had a crush on the imam's daughter, and when he yelled at me for talking to him about her too much, I insulted him on social media, feeling hurt how harshly he yelled at me....
3) issues with talking to children because I can not relate to my peers, issues with girls because it is easy to violate gender segregation because there are open areas....and one boy my age threatened me over the phone when I told him over facebook his sister looked "cute" (she was 6 for goodness's sakes....I didn't mean it in a romantic way...)
I also have an issue with gulenists like my father and a family friend being suspicious of all non gulenist Islamic sects....fearing they'll be extreme....
I want to leave, but the only things keeping me are 1) most of my family friends are gulenist and 2) it will be more difficult for me to get married....
what should I do?