In Agony, potentially losing love of my life...to parents (regular update)

[RazMaTaz]

Salams brothers and sisters

As of late i have met the potential love of my life. Inshallah i hope to marry her, however, an issue has arrised.

We agreed to meet up to talk and have coffee, however, due to circumstances, she couldnt meet up. The reason for this is that during Fajr time, her mother went into her room to get something, and in one of the boxes, they found a Valentines Day Card, which she wanted to give to me. [Before anyone gets ahead of themselves, we are very suttle people, we dont do anything unislamic like kissing and stuff, just a simple get together for coffee, talk, and probably watch a film or go arcades]. Anyways, her mother found the card, and her mother went to read Fajr. After she read, she started to cry, and im assuming that it was because her daughter (who i love) valentines card.

Now, As of this morning, i canceld the get together just so she can sort what ever the problem is. Its currently in a state that she also has a friend of the same name and is willing to take the blame. However, if this plan backfires, shes going to tell the truth about me and her.

Whats worrying me is her parents want her married off, but shes held back as soon as she feels im ready, as im still in education. Shes completing her degree now, while im just getting started in uni. I fell a year behind in college due to certain circumstances. Now the trouble is her parents want her married of ASAP, and her parents want her married "within family". I honestly dont know the situation at the moment with the girl, and should get some information by end of today.

Now, this is the situation, i want to marry this girl, but not when im in education. I am the youngest (20 years of age), and have an older brother and sister who are not even married yet. If her mother embarks on her getting married, what can i do?

Please, advise me imsad

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

you can either be a man and take responsibility by approaching all mahrams (your parents/her parents) and come to a conclusion (marriage or seperation) or you can leave her altogether and pray to Allah to give you whats best for you.

Either way make istikharah.

and bro, its unislamic to be in communication without the knowledge of mahrams... just so you know.


Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Na7lah]

[Before anyone gets ahead of themselves, we are very suttle people, we dont do anything unislamic like kissing and stuff, just a simple get together for coffee, talk, and probably watch a film or go arcades]

still shouldn't be talking to her without one of her mahrams there,

you can either be a man and take responsibility by approaching all mahrams (your parents/her parents) and come to a conclusion (marriage or seperation) or you can leave her altogether and pray to Allah to give you whats best for you.

i'd advice you to follow that ^

do her parents even kno that you're in contact with her?

 

[Caller الداعي]

unfortunatly bro ive seen these kinda problems many times and let me tell u it doesnt have a good outcome!
islam is not about having a label and expecting the rest of the laws to be as we like!
we dont make laws laws are made for us.
however islamic u wish this relationship to be its not...
bro im not blaming u for this its the result of an unislamic society which has deprived us of true understanding of the sunnah.
anyway now that ur stuck in this situation and were ur bros. i agree that u must let one of ur female family members intervene on ur behalf and propose to her family! make lots of dua and we will too inshallah bro!

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

do her parents even kno that you're in contact with her?

:thumbs_up

After she read, she started to cry, and im assuming that it was because her daughter (who i love) valentines card.

dont forget akhee, that the pain you may go through will be nothing compared to the heartache you'll put her mum through. a parents heartache is unique to anybody else's, so do good by this girl, by being good to her parents....