My brother is over and him and I are on tense terms. We haven't spoken properly for many years. I live with my mother. I stopped playing my prayer app adhan so as not to wake my mother, who is experiencing women's issues and can't pray, or my brother, since it is long and loud and I don't want him barging in my room yelling at me, or yelling for my mom to stop me. So instead, I asked my mother to wake me up for fajr, but she didn't most of the days, almost all of the days I had to rely on myself or rely on luck or combing isha and maghrib before fajr by sleeping early, often when fasting, which may be a sin in some interpretations at least. She didn't do it today, and I have had it. Can I boycott her by refusing to talk to her?
Assalaamu Alaikum,
I don't know if I quite understand your post but what wrong has your Mother done to you? Waking you up for Fajr is not her responsibility but your own. Praying each of the 5 daily prayers on its allocated times is solely our obligation and responsibility.. On the day of Judgement we cannot blame anyone else for neglecting our prayers. So please have more respect for your Mother as Allah has ordained that our parents particularly our Mothers are the most deserving of the utmost honour and respect:
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but him, and be good to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of annoyance and do not repel them, but rather speak to them a noble word. Lower to them the wing of humility for them, out of mercy, and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small." (Al-Isra 17:23-24)
Your brother should not protest to you using an alarm to awaken for Fajr as it is an obligation upon him and you and every Muslim in the household. You should invite him to pray with you in a gentle manner reminding him of our obligations unto Allah to fulfill all of our 5 daily prayers on time as an absolute priority over everything else including our sleep. If you know he will not awaken for Fajr and you think it may cause further tensions between you both then try and sleep elsewhere in another room during the duration of his stay. If you have no where else to sleep and you require an alarm to awaken you up then change the alarm tone to a softer quieter tone and leave it closer to your ears so you can awaken immediately and switch it off. You can even get vibrating alarm watches which you wear on your wrist which vibrate instead of give out a alarm tone.
Regarding your relationship with your brother then we are obligated to maintain ties of kinship and to not allow the ties of kinship to sever or be cut off. So are you doing your best to make an amends with your brother? If not then why not? We must not allow our pride and arrogance to prevent us from repairing our relationship with our family members because it will develop into enmity and hatred in our hearts. This is from the tricks of shaythan who wants to destroy our family ties and relationships.
Whatever the issues you have with him then you must do your best to resolve any issues you have between one another. If you have deep rooted issues between yourselves then seek mediation in order to help repair your relationship and resolve any issues you may have. So seek a mediator like an elder respected person in the family, local Imaan, Sheikh, knowledgeable wise person or even a trained Muslim counselor. Dutifulness to kinship is one of the greatest and loftiest good deeds that bring one closer to Allah.
Allah says: "And fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). [An-Nisaa' 4:1].
May Allah enable us to repair our relationships with our family members and relatives and not to not to sever nor cut off the ties of kinship even if they try to cut off ties with us. Ameen
