Is it permissible for me to miss Eid prayer in this case?

[Mustafa16]

It's early morning here where I live. I'm 18, and don't have a driver's license yet, but am getting it soon. My mother and brother are going to Eid prayer at the local Gulenist community center. But for one, my sleeping schedule has been messed up, and I won't be able to get enough sleep (I only have less than 6 hours left to sleep, and it'll probably be a while before I fall asleep. ) my sleeping schedule was messed up as a result of ramadan, because one night i decided to stay up all night to pray tahajjud. and more recently, yesterday, because my it turns out my mother didn't get my anti anxiety medicine, and she said the previous night, "go to sleep, ill get it in the morning at 10 am (rather than 5 am, i had to miss fasting due to this), and youll take it with your other medicines." i stayed up until 10 am, and was getting very irritable and aggressive, and my mother got the medicine, i took all of them, then i went to bed and feel asleep yesterday night at 10 pm. also, the gulenist community center triggers me mentally. i feel scared of the place due to all my bad memories from there, the large crowds (autism and anxiety), the multiple loud noises (autism), and people who hate me, like one of the imams, who didn't accept my apology for a long time but eventually said i shouldn't talk to him but he's "forgiven me" I'm worried ill have a panic attack, also, the girls are a fitnah because there are open places where the men and women COULD free mix if they wanted to, but it is not allowed technically, so nobody does it except my attempts in the past and some preteens and early teenagers. EDIT: also, now I have very bad lower back pain for some reason after i tried to sleep, and it feels like it's strained.

 

[Bobbyflay23]

Why does the imam need to forgive you and go to someone of fiqh no one here is a scholar contemplating on it by all the answers we've given to people we could get in big trouble on the day of judgement if any of them where false

 

[talibilm]

Juma & Eid & jamat (fard) is forgiven for a traveller or a sick or in fear

 

[Mustafa16]

Juma & Eid & jamat (fard) is forgiven for a traveller or a sick or in fear

too late. i already went. i prayed the jamaat prayer outside with my own prayer rug with all the men, while the ladies prayed inside the tiny masjid. just like i feared, there was fitnah. while the imam was giving the khutbah, i would look at the street/parking lot from time to time to see if there were any girls passing by, and occasionally i would stare if i saw one. once, i saw a girl i had an encounter with once, and she looked at me as if uncomfortable, knowing she was being stared at, and ran away out of sight. when i went to the cafeteria, there was no barrier between the men's section and women's section, however, men and women were still expected to sit separately, with the exception of my sister and my brother-in-law, who sat with my mother and I at a table in the middle. My sister, being a schoolteacher, had a coworker, who I saw as a big sister, come sit with us, and I asked her about how her younger sister was doing. the younger sister is 3 years older than me. I then asked if i could date her when im in college, and she smilingly said, "no.....she's about to graduate....she's older than you." my mother laughed it off, taking it as a joke. i went outside purposely to see if there were girls i could talk to. i saw a 13 year old girl i once told my feelings for. i said, as she was walking away, "Hi,____" and she said nervously, "Hi!" and I said "How are you?" and she said, "Good." and rushed off with her friend. I was going to ask her how her 'boyfriend' was doing, since she told me when i told her my feelings for her she liked another boy, and i saw she was following an american boy on instagram. I wanted to see if she got rejected. I stared at three girls, all of whom likely hated me due to my inappropriate comments/actions and/or my being pushy or that one time i lost my temper with them. they were on the other side, so I couldn't go talk to them.......i was waiting for them to leave the cafeteria, but they never did. once, i was on the outside, and one girl was standing in the doorway for women, but i stopped myself from saying something, likely out of shyness and shame.

 

[talibilm]

Sorry I did not read both the posts (have less aptitude to read any long posts and yours are ...) so i posted just what i know or related to the question.