is marriage destroying my faith?

[Revert alYunani]

After marriage I feel my relationship with Allah is being destroyed.Before my whole life was around islam.Id be awake all night in worship,work a few months a year and rest the remaining time going to Mecca, giving sadaqa,helping people everywhere etc.

But now I have to always work because the expenses of having a family are high.After work a big part of my time goes for my wife (going out,playing,talking,having intimacy etc).And then I am dead tired.I dont have time for worship or seeking knowledge.

For example we were on the roof watching the stars a while back and i felt so bad.When I was single at this time I was worshiping Allah,praying reading Quran and all.And now I was here having fun instead of doing smth beneficial for the akhirah.This girl cares a lot about me she is amazing.But Allah comes first.Idk if I should divorce to have more time for worship? Thank you for your advices

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum,

Providing for your family, intimacy with your wife, etc. are also acts of worship because your wife has rights over you. You also can do good deeds with your wife such as praying together, making du'a and reciting dhikr together, giving charity on her behalf. There's nothing wrong with watching the stars and doing dhikr at the same time lol. It will make your marriage better and stronger when you both put Allah first by treating each other with kindness and helping each other in your deen.

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives".
[At-Tirmidhi, who categorized it as Hadith Hasan Sahih].

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`As:

Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O `Abdullah! Have I not been formed that you fast all the day and stand in prayer all night?" I said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)!" He said, "Do not do that! Observe the fast sometimes and also leave them (the fast) at other times; stand up for the prayer at night and also sleep at night. Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife has a right over you."

 

[Muhammad]

Assalamu alaykum,

Spending time with your wife is also important and beneficial. In Islam, the concept of doing good and earning rewards is vast. With the right intention, even actions like eating and sleeping can earn reward.

Also on the authority of Abu Dharr (may Allah be pleased with him): Some of the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), “O Messenger of Allah, the affluent have made off with the rewards. They pray like we pray, fast like we fast and they also give in charity from their extra wealth.” He said, “Has not Allah made things for you to do in charity? Verily, ever tasbeehah is a charitable act, every takbeerah is a charitable act, every tahmeedah is a charitable act, every tahleelah is a charitable act, ordering good is a charitable act, forbidding evil is a charitable act, and you having sexual intercourse [with your wife] is a charitable act.” They said, “O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfills his desire, he will be rewarded for that?” He said, “Tell me, if he were to do it unlawfully, would he bear that sin? Similarly, if he fulfills it lawfully, he will have a reward.” (Recorded in Muslim)

Try to manage your time effectively and think of ways you and your wife can come closer to Allah. Marriage should be a means to strengthen your relationship with Allah, so you should definitely not be thinking about divorce.