Is the jury still out on muslim women marrying non muslims?

[sister_39738]

I came across this article and was intrigued by a specific paragraph.

"All jurists agreed that a Muslim man or woman may not marry a mushrik [one who associates partners with God--there is a complex and multi-layered discourse on who is to be considered a mushrik, but we will leave this for a separate discussion]. However, because of al-Ma'ida verse 5, there is an exception in the case of a Muslim man marrying a kitabiyya. There is no express prohibition in the Qur'an or elsewhere about a Muslim woman marrying a kitabi. However, the jurists argued that since express permission was given to men, by implication women must be prohibited from doing the same. The argument goes: If men needed to be given express permission to marry a kitabiyya, women needed to be given express permission as well, but since they were not given any such permission then they must be barred from marrying a kitabi."

Here's the full link: http://www.scholarofthehouse.org/oninma.html

 

[sister herb]

What´s kitabiyya/kitabi? As kitab is book in Arabic, does it refer as "people of the book"?

 

[azc]

If Muslim woman marries to a man of other religion (ahlekitab) e.g. A Christian then sooner or later she will have to become a Christian willingly or unwillingly but a Muslim man can do for the obvious reason

 

[anatolian]

Yes since al-Ma'ida verse 5 allows Muslim men to marry Jewish and Christian women some scholars argued that this applies to Muslim women as well and they can marry Jewish and Christian men. However, this is a matter of disscusion.

 

[sister_39738]

What´s kitabiyya/kitabi? As kitab is book in Arabic, does it refer as "people of the book"?

I looked up the meaning and it did refer to it as people of the book.

 

[sister_39738]

If Muslim woman marries to a man of other religion (ahlekitab) e.g. A Christian then sooner or later she will have to become a Christian willingly or unwillingly but a Muslim man can do for the obvious reason

Doesn't that imply that the man has absolute control over the wife's religion? Do jewish and christian women that marry muslim men not have the right to continue practicing their religion upon marriage? Husband or not no one has the right to decide a spouse's religion, that's why we have free will.

 

[islamirama]

There are many fake scholars who think they know it all. 1500 years of Islam and now we have these clowns making haram halal as if they know more than all those scholars?

"All jurists agreed that a Muslim man or woman may not marry a mushrik [one who associates partners with God--there is a complex and multi-layered discourse on who is to be considered a mushrik, but we will leave this for a separate discussion]. However, because of al-Ma'ida verse 5, there is an exception in the case of a Muslim man marrying a kitabiyya.

He means this one:

“Made lawful to you this day are . . . chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time . . .” [al-Maa’idah 5:5].

There is no express prohibition in the Qur'an or elsewhere about a Muslim woman marrying a kitabi.

Has he read the Quran ? does he not know of any other verses?

Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe... (Al-Baqara:221)

“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember”

[al-Baqarah 2:221]



“…then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them”
[al-Mumtahanah 60:10].

However, the jurists argued that since express permission was given to men, by implication women must be prohibited from doing the same. The argument goes: If men needed to be given express permission to marry a kitabiyya, women needed to be given express permission as well, but since they were not given any such permission then they must be barred from marrying a kitabi.

"



It is forbidden for Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men, according to the Qur’aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the scholars (ijmaa’)

Marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man is a major sin, and there is scholarly consensus that it is haraam and that the marriage contract is invalid. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you” [al-Baqarah 2:221]


“O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allah knows best as to their Faith, then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them” [al-Mumtahanah 60:10] .

It says in a statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council: Marriage of a kaafir to a Muslim woman is haraam and is not permissible according to scholarly consensus. And there is no doubt concerning that, because of what is implied by shar‘i texts.


End quote from Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/231


Any Muslim woman who is aware of that (and still does it) deserves to incur sin and deserves to be subjected to the hadd punishment for zina. But if a woman was unaware of this ruling, sin is waived in her case, but it is not permissible for her to remain in that marriage, because it was never valid in the first place.

https://islamqa.info/en/170862

 

[islamirama]

Doesn't that imply that the man has absolute control over the wife's religion? Do jewish and christian women that marry muslim men not have the right to continue practicing their religion upon marriage? Husband or not no one has the right to decide a spouse's religion, that's why we have free will.

With regard to the wisdom behind the matter that you are asking about, perhaps you know that Islam is the last religion that was revealed from Allaah, hence it abrogates all other religions, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah) hate (it)” [al-Tawbah 9:33]


“And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [al-Nisa’ 4:141]


The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said; “Islam prevails and is not prevailed over.” Narrated by al-Daaraqutni and others; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2778).

The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false.


It is well known that the husband is in charge of his wife (qawaamah) and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife. Perhaps this higher position may make him force his wife to leave her religion and follow his, or it may influence her to do that, and this is something that Islam cannot accept.


The higher status held by the husband may also cause the children of this woman to follow their father’s religion, which is a great error, if these offspring grow up and do not follow the final religion of Allaah.


This is the important reason which Allaah mentioned when He forbade Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221]


Moreover, if a kitaabi woman (a Jewish or Christian woman) marries a Muslim man, she is marrying someone who believes in her Prophet and all the Prophets of Allaah, because he cannot be a Muslim otherwise, and it is not permissible for him to differentiate between them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“The Messenger (Muhammad) believes in what has been sent down to him from his Lord, and (so do) the believers. Each one believes in Allaah, His Angels, His Books, and His Messengers. (They say,) ‘We make no distinction between one another of His Messengers’” [al-Baqarah 2:285]


Whereas the kitaabi – whether Jewish or Christian – does not believe in Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or that he is the Seal of the Prophets, so how can the two matters be equal, and how can Muslim women marry men who do not believe in their Prophet?

https://islamqa.info/en/83736



Here's an example as to why:

One of my friend her name is Farhana 20 years old girl has married a non Muslim boy before 2 years ago.
now she has realized according to Islam she has done a mistake. she has tried to convert her husband in to Islam but he is nor ready to accept it. Fortunately they dont have kids. and her husband has told her if they get a kid in future he wants to grow the kid as non Muslim way. So now Farhana has confused what type of action has to take. Because she cant come out immediately from him because she is an orphan. Her parents has divorced and living separately with new families. If she has to divorce whats the procedure she has to follow.

https://islamqa.info/en/230057

 

[azc]

Doesn't that imply that the man has absolute control over the wife's religion? Do jewish and christian women that marry muslim men not have the right to continue practicing their religion upon marriage? Husband or not no one has the right to decide a spouse's religion, that's why we have free will.

A Muslim man can't force her Christian or Jewish wife to accept Islamb. She is allowed to practice upon her religion and Quran gives her this right ''la ikraha fiddeen''.But if a Muslim girl marries to an ahlekitab boy, possibility of her conversion can't be denied and Islam closes the door of all possibilities, so a Muslim girl can't marry to an ahlekitab boy..

 

[sister_39738]

Yea, that isn't always true. A great example of this is my new roommate, Kimberly. Her father is muslim but she is not and a lot of agnostics I know have muslim parents/fathers. And the man always being dominant in the relationship is far from truth especially in the west which is why some islamic sects forbid men from marrying non muslim women if they live in the west. And what you are saying about the man being more important in islam than the woman really flies in the face of what I learned and what attracted me to islam, which is the many rights it gives women. Now your saying that essentially a woman loses all her rights upon marriage. Marriage isn't looking like a good prospect now.

With regard to the wisdom behind the matter that you are asking about, perhaps you know that Islam is the last religion that was revealed from Allaah, hence it abrogates all other religions, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):



“It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allaah) hate (it)” [al-Tawbah 9:33]


“And never will Allaah grant to the disbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [al-Nisa’ 4:141]


The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said; “Islam prevails and is not prevailed over.” Narrated by al-Daaraqutni and others; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ (2778).

The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not permissible for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman, because Islam is the true religion and all other religions are false.


It is well known that the husband is in charge of his wife (qawaamah) and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife. Perhaps this higher position may make him force his wife to leave her religion and follow his, or it may influence her to do that, and this is something that Islam cannot accept.


The higher status held by the husband may also cause the children of this woman to follow their father’s religion, which is a great error, if these offspring grow up and do not follow the final religion of Allaah.


This is the important reason which Allaah mentioned when He forbade Muslim women to marry non-Muslim men. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al‑Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember” [al-Baqarah 2:221]


Moreover, if a kitaabi woman (a Jewish or Christian woman) marries a Muslim man, she is marrying someone who believes in her Prophet and all the Prophets of Allaah, because he cannot be a Muslim otherwise, and it is not permissible for him to differentiate between them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):


“The Messenger (Muhammad) believes in what has been sent down to him from his Lord, and (so do) the believers. Each one believes in Allaah, His Angels, His Books, and His Messengers. (They say,) ‘We make no distinction between one another of His Messengers’” [al-Baqarah 2:285]


Whereas the kitaabi – whether Jewish or Christian – does not believe in Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or that he is the Seal of the Prophets, so how can the two matters be equal, and how can Muslim women marry men who do not believe in their Prophet?

https://islamqa.info/en/83736



Here's an example as to why:

One of my friend her name is Farhana 20 years old girl has married a non Muslim boy before 2 years ago.
now she has realized according to Islam she has done a mistake. she has tried to convert her husband in to Islam but he is nor ready to accept it. Fortunately they dont have kids. and her husband has told her if they get a kid in future he wants to grow the kid as non Muslim way. So now Farhana has confused what type of action has to take. Because she cant come out immediately from him because she is an orphan. Her parents has divorced and living separately with new families. If she has to divorce whats the procedure she has to follow.

https://islamqa.info/en/230057

 

[sister_39738]

A Muslim man can't force her Christian or Jewish wife to accept Islamb. She is allowed to practice upon her religion and Quran gives her this right ''la ikraha fiddeen''.But if a Muslim girl marries to an ahlekitab boy, possibility of her conversion can't be denied and Islam closes the door of all possibilities, so a Muslim girl can't marry to an ahlekitab boy..

I dont think you are understanding that what you are saying that a man will have absolute power over his wife and that a muslim woman will not have enough sense or will power to stay with her religion. While muslim men are marrying women of the book they are actually hurting our umah. Every muslim man that marries a non muslim woman actually lowers the availability of spouses for muslim women. Which is why so many women have a hard time finding husbands. So some women might find it more attractive to look for non muslim men as husbands. Another important thing to remember is that not every non believer will even try to force his wife to convert to his religion. So what im saying is that the risk that muslim women face marrying non muslims is the same that muslim men face. Women are going to want their children to grow up with their religion. A non muslim woman might want to have an occasional glass of wine with dinner or try to convince her husband that Isa is his lord and savior. So if both sexes face the same risk then why are men going out and marrying non muslims? Because when they do this they increase the chances of a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man.

 

[islamirama]

Yea, that isn't always true. A great example of this is my new roommate, Kimberly. Her father is muslim but she is not and a lot of agnostics I know have muslim parents/fathers. And the man always being dominant in the relationship is far from truth especially in the west which is why some islamic sects forbid men from marrying non muslim women if they live in the west. And what you are saying about the man being more important in islam than the woman really flies in the face of what I learned and what attracted me to islam, which is the many rights it gives women. Now your saying that essentially a woman loses all her rights upon marriage. Marriage isn't looking like a good prospect now.

The reason your friend/roommate and children of Muslims are not Muslims because the fathers failed their children in giving them their Islamic rights. That is not the norm but the exception. Same goes for who wears the pants in the house. Norm is that the husband is the man of the house, regardless of which society/religion you look at. Even the so called feminists come home and cook dinner and do homely duties more so than a man does.

It is not that one is more important than the other, but rather they are given different roles to play and different level of authority and responsibility given.

The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them. The servant of a man is a guardian of the property of his master and he is responsible for it. No doubt, every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock.”

Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6719, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1829


The great rights that a husband has over his wife are something that is affirmed in sharee’ah, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allaah is All-Mighty, All-Wise” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allaah is Ever Most High, Most Great” [al-Nisa’ 4:34]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”

Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1853; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

This is not because one is “better” than the other in some egotistical way, but rather one is made to excel the other.

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Tafseer (1/363): “The phrase ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ means that they are superior in physical nature, attitude, status, obedience to the commands of Allaah, spending, taking care of interests, and virtue, in this world and in the Hereafter, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ [al-Nisa’4:34].” End quote.


Of course there are always exceptions. There are very bright women out there and very capable, just as there are very incapable men out there. But given all things being equal, in general, over all, the man is the dominant gender and woman the submissive gender. Which is why the man is the hunter and the women the caretaker.

Islam has given both genders their respective roles, responsibilities and rights. Your rights won't be taken away by marriage, what is given to you by Islam stays with you. We are talking in this thread about the influence of a man over woman in a relationship and the affect of it on the woman,and why it's haram to marry a mushrik man.

Several years back the israeli went on a secrete mission. They had some 500 (i think) israeli go undercover as Muslims to live in Palestine. They were devout Muslims outward and everything, they married Muslim women and had kids. When those kids were about 10 years old. The men told their wives they are jews and are going back to israel, the women can do whatever they want. what do you think happened? The women took their kids and went with their kuffar husbands, changing their religion as well. The influence of the head of the household is real and you will follow him whether it's today or 10 years from now.

 

[ardianto]

I dont think you are understanding that what you are saying that a man will have absolute power over his wife and that a muslim woman will not have enough sense or will power to stay with her religion.

In my place there are non-Muslim men who choose to convert to Islam because marrying Muslim women. I know personally with one of them. Also I've ever had customer who is British Muslim, he is White. He convert because married Indonesian Muslim woman.

So, Muslim women are not always in weak position in this matter.

 

[azc]

I dont think you are understanding that what you are saying that a man will have absolute power over his wife and that a muslim woman will not have enough sense or will power to stay with her religion. While muslim men are marrying women of the book they are actually hurting our umah. Every muslim man that marries a non muslim woman actually lowers the availability of spouses for muslim women. Which is why so many women have a hard time finding husbands. So some women might find it more attractive to look for non muslim men as husbands. Another important thing to remember is that not every non believer will even try to force his wife to convert to his religion. So what im saying is that the risk that muslim women face marrying non muslims is the same that muslim men face. Women are going to want their children to grow up with their religion. A non muslim woman might want to have an occasional glass of wine with dinner or try to convince her husband that Isa is his lord and savior. So if both sexes face the same risk then why are men going out and marrying non muslims? Because when they do this they increase the chances of a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man.

Despite all your ifs and buts Islam doesn't allow you to Marty a nonmuslim

 

[Born_Believer]

Looks like the question has been very well answered on here.

What I would like to push forward with is the idea of a Muslim man marrying a Christian or a Jew and if that is relevant in the modern world?

I say this because during the time of the Prophet PBUH and for many years afterwards, there were still Christians and Jews that practiced their religion (prayer, fasting, no alcohol etc) and also avoided shirk (partners with Allah). In an environment like that, it could and did make sense for Muslim men having the right to marry non-muslim women as an option, not the norm.

Nowadays, Christian and Jews are essentially atheists or polytheists in their beliefs, they drink, don't pray, have no concept of fasting, eat pork etc etc etc. So if a Muslim man was heading towards marrying such a woman, he would be in a relationship that would in itself be haram.

 

[noraina]

From what I have read the vast majority of scholars unanimous on the fact that a Muslim woman *cannot* marry a man from the ahl al-kitab.

And I've also heard that whilst a Muslim man can marry a Jewish or Christian woman - it is not recommended. Permitted, certainly, but not recommended. This link kinda touches on that point. https://islamqa.info/en/20884

Because, thinking very practically, to be married to someone of another faith (especially if you both a very committed to it and practising it) would be difficult, especially when it comes to bringing up children. I have seen a man who married a Christian woman and they're actually quite happy together - but it did come with its problems. Marriage isn't easy anyway and so that's why scholars say it is best to marry a Muslim woman, cause there'll be more compatibility and understanding from the beginning inshaAllah.

And Allah swt knows best.

 

[sister_39738]

Despite all your ifs and buts Islam doesn't allow you to Marty a nonmuslim

Yet your totally cool with muslim men marrying non muslims.You know why a lot of muslim men marry non muslims?Because these women are a lot more lax in their standards.

 

[aaj]

What I would like to push forward with is the idea of a Muslim man marrying a Christian or a Jew and if that is relevant in the modern world?

While it is permissible to marry the kitabi women, certain conditions have to be applied.

1. Since the Muslim women can marry only the Muslim men, they get first priority rights over the Muslim men, especially in the west. IF there are enough men in the community to meet the needs of the sisters then and only then can Muslim men look into marrying kitabi women.


2. Your child has Islamic rights over you before he/she is even born. One such right is having a Allah fearing mother.

– Choosing a righteous wife to be a righteous mother.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Dahlawi said: Choose from among women those who are religiously committed and righteous, and who are of good descent, for if a woman is of illegitimate descent, this bad characteristic may be passed to her children. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicator or a Mushrik” [al-Noor 24:3]

Rather Islam recommends compatibility for the purpose of harmony and to avoid a person being shamed if he marries into a family that is not compatible.

Sharh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 1/141

https://islamqa.info/en/20064


3. Marriage to the kitabi women is permitted if they are chaste, Allah says:

“(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste [muhsan] women from the believers and CHASTE women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time” [al-Maa’idah 5:5]

We live in a world where dating and fornication happens as early as age 7. Where are you going to find a chaste woman?


Although we say that it is permissible, and we do not doubt that there is a clear text concerning that, nevertheless we do not think that a Muslim should marry a kitaabi woman (a woman of the people of the Book), for several reasons:

https://islamqa.info/en/45645

 

[anatolian]

Quran does prohibit Muslims both men and women from marrying mushriks, encourages to marry believers and again makes lawful for Muslim men to marry the people of the Book but nowhere in Quran it allows or prohibits Muslim women marrying from the people of the Book. Now this is a subject for disscusion. If you are with the understanding that as long as something is not prohibited it is lawful then Muslim women can marry men from the people of the Book. But if you are with the understanding that Quran did not specifically allowed women to marry men from the people of the Book then it is not allowed.

Is there a specific hadith for this issue?

 

[aaj]

nowhere in Quran it allows or prohibits Muslim women marrying from the people of the Book.

Is there a specific hadith for this issue?

This has already been discussed, see post #7
https://www.islamicboard.com/genera...marrying-muslims-post2938415.html#post2938415