is this acceptable

[Ace_R]

Salaam alykum brothers.
My question for you today is if what I am doing is acceptable. I am 17 years old, I still have at least 8-9 years until I can get married. I have known a 17 year old muslim girl for 8 months now. I go to a british school of which she attends with me in sixth form. We are close friends, she has a lot of family problems which I help out with. We are both religeous, I help her with praying and duaa2s I give her links to read online about islam. I also help her with studying, that is usually the main basis of our talk. We do not touch not even hug and we don’t talk cute or anything. We have an intetnion of a future together (marriage) both my mom and hers know about this. There is no way that we wil commit zenah because we will never be alone together in a place. Both our hearts are strong. My question is if what we are doing is acceptable if there is no physical attraction no dirty thoughts and no touching. We don’t spend much time together also. Please answer. It is very important to me as I really do intend to marry her. She is a good muslim girl who I would love to spend my life with. It is not a very intimate friendship, but we both have the intention to marry sooner or later. I don’t know what to do. We both have very strong feelings that we want to marry eachother. Both my mom and her mom knows and they are both VERY religeous Allhamdulilah, they say it is ok as long as there are boundaries to all our conversations that we do not cross. And we don’t and wont cross those boundaries eg anything that is flirty.
Thank you brothers wa al salam alykum wa rahmat allah wa barakato :exhausted

 

[Ace_R]

Please someone help me i wish that i could just marry her now.

 

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

i wish that i could just marry her now.

Where there is a will, there is a way. In sha Allah. Why don't you convince your mother and family and her mother and family to let you get married now?

A long period of waiting for each other is never a good idea.

There is no way that we wil commit zenah because we will never be alone together in a place. Both our hearts are strong.

Never say never bro. Your hearts may be strong but shaytan's resolve is stronger. He's been alive for millennia and has misguided many people throughout that time. I'm sure he's picked up a few tricks that he could use to make two young people in love with each other commit sin. It would be easy for him.

 

[Ace_R]

Wa alaykum salam,


Where there is a will, there is a way. In sha Allah. Why don't you convince your mother and family and her mother and family to let you get married now?

A long period of waiting for each other is never a good idea.


Never say never bro. Your hearts may be strong but shaytan's resolve is stronger. He's been alive for millennia and has misguided many people throughout that time. I'm sure he's picked up a few tricks that he could use to make two young people in love with each other commit sin. It would be easy for him.

Our mothers have both agreed to our intentions to marry, but there is no way to marry now. I have to finish my education first. Brother do you think it is acceptable for me and her to stay as we are until the time comes. If we feel we are getting tempted we will fix it or end it. And if we do slip up (which I don't think will happen especially that mothers are involved) then we will end it. I'm so stressed out brother my head hurts I just want to know if it is ok to go on as we are until the time inshallah very soon comes..

 

[Ace_R]

We are never alone together and never talk about anything useless. I help her with family problems and Islam and she helps me with Islam also. We are both very religious and also from religious families. Ad moms are always checking up on us seeing if we are being bad and what not. But us personally, we don't want to do anything bad because we want barakah and blessings for marriage :'(

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

We are never alone together and never talk about anything useless. I help her with family problems and Islam and she helps me with Islam also. We are both very religious and also from religious families. Ad moms are always checking up on us seeing if we are being bad and what not. But us personally, we don't want to do anything bad because we want barakah and blessings for marriage :'(

My brother it is not permissible for a non mahram man and woman to befriend one another. Such friendships are not permissible in Islam. It is such friendships that usually lead to further sin. There is no such thing as a "halal friendship with the opposite sex". That which is haram leads to other haram.

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said, "Whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them. (al-Tirmidhi, 1091).

So any interaction you have with her whether it is by phone, e mail or in person when you are alone then shaythan is the third and accompanying you in such interactions.

My brother NO one on this Earth is safe from the evil of shaythan. Surely he is our enemy and it is of his biggest deceptions that he has made you feel so confident in thinking that you will never fall into anything further like forbidden physical relations. How many of us have felt victim to the very same plot of shaythan and ended up causing the anger and displeasure of Allah? How many very pious and strong people have fell into zina after being confident thinking they were immune from falling into such a trap.

Also my brother know that shaythan always works in a gradual manner. So first off it will start with friendship then more and more feelings will creep in until the couple are so besotted with each other that they feel they cannot live without one another. Surely there is nothing good in such a relationship but the displeasure of Allah. Surely my brother our aim and purpose in life is to fulfil our obligations unto Allah and worship him and do everything to please him and refrain from anything which may anger or displease him.

One of my friends before he married his partner, he met her at school. They became close. But at the same time he was given guidance and became practising and felt it was wrong to interact with her. So he said to her that he is not currently able to marry but will be in the next 5 years. If it is meant to be then we will marry. If not then it was not decreed. If you want to wait then it is up to you but we cannot remain in contact. So they stop interacting and a few years later they got into contact again when the brother was ready and they married. Similarly you must tell her the same that you are not yet able to marry but when you are able then you will contact her parents and if you are still unmarried then you will ask for her hand. This is the best way to go about this my brother.

So make this sacrifice for Allah and you will gain much peace in your heart. Surely Allah who created you knows what is best for you and if it is best that you marry her then you will marry her no matter what. If not then you will never be able to marry her. But the main thing we must do is approach every matter in a way that will please Allah. What you are doing right now is most displeasing to Allah and you will find no blessings in it. Only that which is pleasing to Allah will be blessed and one can gain peace in ones heart from it.

So my brother you must stop contact with her immediately for it is not permissible to have such friendships regardless of whether you are planning on marrying or not. Surely if it is best for you and you do end up marrying her then it will only be by the decree of Allah. So take this step now during this blessed month. Regardless of how strongly she reacts know that you are doing this for your lord who watches every action of ours. This is a test for you so be firm and do what is right and you will find peace, contentment and happiness from it but make the wrong choice and you will continue to find much anguish and misery from it.

May Allah keep us away from that which causes his anger and displeasure. Ameen