Islam is too hard for me

[Mohamed_]

Salam Aleykum,
Maybe this is my last post here... I'm on about here to tell you I leave Islam for a while now.

Islam is too hard for me. About many problems, I tell you some:
1st. Food, my family isn't muslim. I live with my mom, stepfather and brother. They don't give me that much respect. My mom usually cooks pork nowadays, and there is like nothing else for me, so I've to eat pork too...

2nd. Girls, I'm usually almost everyday out of home. And there are girls, when a I see good-looking gilrs that's really hard to stop myself to don't check them. And school has just begun. I be 16 soon and I hadn't much girlfriend before, so I will look for some sure. And I very miss my last girlfriend...

3rd. Prayers, as I said school has just begun and I should spend 1 prayer in school, and that's impossible. The boss of the school doesn't allow me to do that. When I get home then I should prayer for 2 prayers, and after school not sure I'll be in the mood for prayer, especially on bad days. I couldn't really prayer in the last 6-8 days.

4th. Fasting, I can't fast alone, because as I said noone else is muslim who I live with. So they eat when they want to, that's bad to see they are eating and I'm watching them... Or hear when they say "it's delicious"...

Uh...
So I'm about to stop Islam... Maybe I'll come back to it later, when I be older. If there will be later... But I will keep some rule of Islam in my life, for example alcohol, I will not drink alcohol.
And I will keep Islam as the only truth, peaceful, "clean" religion, and Mohamed (peace be upon him) as the best prophet of Allah.

Allah ma'k!

 

[mathematician]

'Alaykum salam,

What people at your age don't understand is that EVERYONE goes through difficulties in this world, especially before becoming an adult. That's a reality that's usually not accepted with people at your age. We can tell you over and over how everyone goes through difficulties, but somehow in the back of your brain you don't believe it and don't understand it.

Brother, you need to understand that everyone goes through difficult moments in this life. If all those of us who went through some difficulties gave up Islam, ate pork, went and got a girlfriend/boyfriend, then I PROMISE you there would be no muslim left on this planet.

At your age it's very important that you go through some difficult moments so that you can gain wisdom through experiences. With those difficult moments you will learn the best gift that a muslim can get, which is PATIENCE. That my brother is the most important characteristic a muslim can get on this earth. But patience cannot be achieved by having a fully happy life, can it?

 

[Uthman]

:wasalamex

Brother please read this.

 

[GuestFellow]

Salam Aleykum,
Maybe this is my last post here... I'm on about here to tell you I leave Islam for a while now.

Islam is too hard for me. About many problems, I tell you some:
1st. Food, my family isn't muslim. I live with my mom, stepfather and brother. They don't give me that much respect. My mom usually cooks pork nowadays, and there is like nothing else for me, so I've to eat pork too...

2nd. Girls, I'm usually almost everyday out of home. And there are girls, when a I see good-looking gilrs that's really hard to stop myself to don't check them. And school has just begun. I be 16 soon and I hadn't much girlfriend before, so I will look for some sure. And I very miss my last girlfriend...

3rd. Prayers, as I said school has just begun and I should spend 1 prayer in school, and that's impossible. The boss of the school doesn't allow me to do that. When I get home then I should prayer for 2 prayers, and after school not sure I'll be in the mood for prayer, especially on bad days. I couldn't really prayer in the last 6-8 days.

4th. Fasting, I can't fast alone, because as I said noone else is muslim who I live with. So they eat when they want to, that's bad to see they are eating and I'm watching them... Or hear when they say "it's delicious"...

Uh...
So I'm about to stop Islam... Maybe I'll come back to it later, when I be older. If there will be later... But I will keep some rule of Islam in my life, for example alcohol, I will not drink alcohol.
And I will keep Islam as the only truth, peaceful, "clean" religion, and Mohamed (peace be upon him) as the best prophet of Allah.

Allah ma'k!

Asslamu Aliakum.

I agree following Islam is very difficult. I still find it hard but I never give up. It governs all aspects of your life. Following Islamic principles is truly the best way to live. The Prophet Muhammad {PBUH} worked extremely hard to set the perfect example for Muslims to follow.

1. If your mom does not cook pork there are many other things to eat. It shouldn't be too hard.

2. Why not hang around with boys if you're bored or feel lonely? You cannot get into a relationship with another girl. This is haram. Try to keep conversations very short and formal if you have difficulty avoiding girls.

3. Yeah I find completing my 5 five prayers very tough and in the past I used to miss prayers. You will get used to it. I'm sure you can read Zuhr namaz later on after school. Ask your local imam for support on daily prayers.

4. Ah when people are eating I would avoid sitting with them. Just say you're not hungry or that you’re fasting. I told my Jewish friends that I'm fasting and I was unable to eat with them. They didn't mind.

Good to hear you’re not going to drink Alcohol mashallah. I understand it is difficult but you will get used to it. Step by step you will become a better Muslim. I wouldn't leave Islam. It is not going to help you later onwards.

Everyday I would aim to make small changes. Allah will recognise the smallest of change. It will take time but you will eventually get there.

Good luck!

 

[Khaldun]

Remembering Allah​

Narrated by 'Abdullaah bin Busr [he] said that a man came to the Prophet and said "O Messenger of Allah! Verily, the sanctions of Islam have become too numerous for me [to perform them all]. Inform me of something (simple) that I may adhere to." The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Let your tongue always be moist with the rememberance of Allah." [Reported by al-Tirmidhee no. 3375 and Ibn Maajah no. 3793 and Ibn Hibbaan no. 814]
​

'Abdullaah bin Mas'uud said:

Muusa - may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him - said, My Lord! Which deed is the most beloved to You? He [the Most High] replied:

The one amongst them that remembers Me the most​

Ibn 'Abbas said:

Increase in Dhikr [remembrance of Allah] so much so that the hypocrites say you are showing off.​

Mu'aadh bin Jabal said:

For me to remember Allah [do dhikr] from morning to evening is more beloved to me then fighting with horses for the sake of Allah from morning to evening.​

al-Hasan al-Basri said:

The most beloved slaves to Allah are the ones that remember Him the most [doing dhikr].​

Aboo Hurairah used to have a string with 1000 knots, he never used to go to sleep except glorifying Allah [using it]

Khaalid bin Mi'daan used to glorify Allah [tasbeeh] 40,000 [forty thousand] every day not including that which he used to read from the Qur'aan. When he passed away he was placed on his bed to be giving a ghusl, his finger started to move glorifying Allah.

It was said to 'Umair bin Haani we do not see your tongue getting tired, how many times a day do you glorify Allah? He replied 100, 000 [one hundered thousand] times a day.

Ka'b said:

Whoever increases in his remembrance of Allah [dhikr] will be saved from hypocrisy​

[Translation from al-Jaami' al-'Uloom wal-Hikam by Imaam Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali]

Source

 

[13th Yarba]

'Alaykum salam,

if islam is in your heart it will always be there no matter what your diet, worship schedule or associates.

 

[Asim Khan]

Alhumdulillah, at least you posted seeking help.

You reverted only around a month ago right? One can't turn around eveything right away to make everything favourable for practicing Islam 100%.

3rd. Prayers, as I said school has just begun and I should spend 1 prayer in school, and that's impossible.

I'm assuming you're in shcool for the whole Zuhr-Asr window with no breaks. Well that's out of your hands (at least for now). You should try and make sure you don't miss the other 4 salah. Inshallah you can earn a lot of reward for praying on time:

Abu 'Amr ash-Shaybani said, "The owner of this house (and he pointed at the house of 'Abdullah ibn Mas'ud) said, "I asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, which action Allah loves best. He replied, 'Prayer at its proper time.' 'Then what?' I asked. He said, 'Then kindness to parents." I asked, 'Then what?' He replied, 'Then jihad in the Way of Allah.'" He added, "He told me about these things. If I had asked him to tell me more, he would have told me more."[Al Adab Al Mufrad]

1st. Food, my family isn't muslim. I live with my mom, stepfather and brother. They don't give me that much respect. My mom usually cooks pork nowadays, and there is like nothing else for me, so I've to eat pork too...

Is your family Catholic? If yes then you can easily refer to Matthew 5:17-20 and say that you believe in following the Law including not eating pork at all. I (or if I can't find it another brother) could also give you references from the Old Testament. If your family's not Catholic would medical arguments (diseases from pork) help? One can have pork if the options have been exhasted and it becomes a matter of one's body suffering:

16:115. He has only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and any (food) over which the name of other than Allah has been invoked. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

4th. Fasting, I can't fast alone, because as I said noone else is muslim who I live with. So they eat when they want to, that's bad to see they are eating and I'm watching them... Or hear when they say "it's delicious"...

:exhausted Brother, it may have been a big problem if your family was after you "why aren't you eating! why aren't you eating!" Inshallah, the more the fast is hard on you, the greater will be the reward. And here is something to conisder: partial obedience to Allah's commandments (things that are under one's control) is like no obedience: "my nafs (self) is agreeable to this commandment, okay I'll follow it. hmm, my nafs is really against this one, ah I'll let it slide." That's obedience to the nafs.

2nd. Girls, I'm usually almost everyday out of home. And there are girls, when a I see good-looking gilrs that's really hard to stop myself to don't check them. And school has just begun. I be 16 soon and I hadn't much girlfriend before, so I will look for some sure. And I very miss my last girlfriend...

I recommend that you spend time learning Surah 23, The Believers.

Bis-millah-hir-Rahman-nir-Raheem.

1. Successful indeed are the believers

2. Who are humble in their prayers,

3. And who shun vain conversation,

4. And who are payers of the poor-due;

5. And who guard their modesty -

6. Save from their wives or the (slaves) that their right hands possess*, for then they are not blameworthy,

7. But whoso craveth beyond that, such are transgressors -

* It is discouraged to marry slavewomen if one can marry freewomen, the limit is still 4 overall, and freewomen wives are given 2/3 of the total time (1/3 given to slavewomen wives).

Inshallah, it will also boost your eman! http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-support/134285643-namaaz.html

 

[Asim Khan]

So many replies in one hour! (while I was typing) I gotta go right now.

Allah hafiz.

 

[Asim Khan]

Oh I just realized, I posted in that topic knowing the poster knew Urdu (and basic Arabic). Umm, this site has transliteration: (paste 23:1-118 in verse search) http://www.islamicity.com/QuranSearch/. Hope you can still make use of the (fast) recitation (soon).

 

[Asim Khan]

Oh, the recitation picks up from ayah 42 with another reciter.

 

[zakirs]

Brother , please hangon ..

There are difficulties.. I am of your age too .. please bear with your strife.Its very difficult i know , but we all are here with you.

When you look back after this life , you will realise that this will be the most rewarding period.

 

[Sari]

Try to deal with each problem one at a time, slowly, rather than deal with all at once, which inevitably feels too much and leads to you giving up. But the key thing here is you are not leaving Islam at all, you believe in Islam and it is in your heart, so you are going to remain Muslim unless you actually stop believing in Allah, so you have your whole life to keep improving.

 

[Humbler_359]

Everything here in Fantasy World is very temporary....... Temporary things will go disappear, your relationship with Allah is never destroyed since you were born.

 

[Snowflake]

You don't have to leave Islam for the reasons you gave.

1. You don't have to be a muslim to not eat pork. Many non muslim don't eat it either. Simply say you've gone off it or go vegetarian. I'm sure your mother won't force it upon you.


2. Prayers can be combined and you may only pray the obligatory units. Zuhr can be combined with Asr. And maghrib with Isha. Allah knows too well of your struggles and He is Merciful and Patient. Don't give up little bro.


3. Even some muslims have a hard time to stop themselves looking at girls. Naturally as your faith increases, everything becomes easier. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "No man is sin free. But the best of men are those who repent." Even born muslims sin brother. But we repent because Allah is Forgiving and KInd. It's not a reason to leave Islam.

4. Everything is hard in the beginning. Nothing can be achieved without working for it bro. If you didn't do your homework, if you didn't keep up in class, you wouldn't get good grades. So getting anywhere in life requires effort. Fasting is a means of making us pious. If you are struggling. No problem. The main thing is you are making the effort and that is what Allah sees. You mustn't allow yourself to be affected when others are eating. At times like these, remind yourself of the people who are suffering from starvation in the world. Remind yourself of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and how he'd go days without eating because he didn't have any food. Your mind is stronger than your body bro. If you really want, you can do it.

However, I have to add that even if you can't perform the obligatory acts, or perform them irregularly, no problem bro. Allah is Most Merciful and Kind and He is especially Merciful to the believers and thee is absolutely no reason to give up Islam.

Just do your best, and God willing as you get older and circumstances change, you can increase your obligatory duties. But don't leave Islam bro. It is more sinful to leave Islam than to be a muslim and not fulfil your obligations. I pray Allah is Most Mercilful and Kind to you little bro and He helps you overcome your difficulties and makes Islam easy for you. Ameen

 

[Woodrow]

Salam Aleykum,
Maybe this is my last post here... I'm on about here to tell you I leave Islam for a while now.

Islam is too hard for me. About many problems, I tell you some:
1st. Food, my family isn't muslim. I live with my mom, stepfather and brother. They don't give me that much respect. My mom usually cooks pork nowadays, and there is like nothing else for me, so I've to eat pork too...

2nd. Girls, I'm usually almost everyday out of home. And there are girls, when a I see good-looking gilrs that's really hard to stop myself to don't check them. And school has just begun. I be 16 soon and I hadn't much girlfriend before, so I will look for some sure. And I very miss my last girlfriend...

3rd. Prayers, as I said school has just begun and I should spend 1 prayer in school, and that's impossible. The boss of the school doesn't allow me to do that. When I get home then I should prayer for 2 prayers, and after school not sure I'll be in the mood for prayer, especially on bad days. I couldn't really prayer in the last 6-8 days.

4th. Fasting, I can't fast alone, because as I said noone else is muslim who I live with. So they eat when they want to, that's bad to see they are eating and I'm watching them... Or hear when they say "it's delicious"...

Uh...
So I'm about to stop Islam... Maybe I'll come back to it later, when I be older. If there will be later... But I will keep some rule of Islam in my life, for example alcohol, I will not drink alcohol.
And I will keep Islam as the only truth, peaceful, "clean" religion, and Mohamed (peace be upon him) as the best prophet of Allah.

Allah ma'k!

As difficult as Islam seems to be. It is but a short term difficulty. The long term benefits are what you need to look at.

 

[Tony]

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So you think you can just leave islam and come back when ur older, BROTHER WHO SAYS YOU GONNA GET ANY OLDER
You could die having denounced Islam, come on wake up, some ppl died for Islam, all you got to do is put up with parents who dont understand YET, and stop looking at asses, bro their is special place in hell for the ppl who believed then turned from Islam.
I notice the caption under your avatar says I love my prophet, so stick with it bro, imagine what Rasulullah (pbuh) and his first followers went through.
Your parents will begin to understand you when you have been steadfast for some time, pass your trials brother, Allah has seen fit to test you Alhamdulillah, He must have some plan for you bro.

TAHA 48
"Lo! It hath been revealed unto us that the doom will be for him who denieth and turn away"

 

[Najm]

You don't have to leave Islam for the reasons you gave.

1. You don't have to be a muslim to not eat pork. Many non muslim don't eat it either. Simply say you've gone off it or go vegetarian. I'm sure your mother won't force it upon you.


2. Prayers can be combined and you may only pray the obligatory units. Zuhr can be combined with Asr. And maghrib with Isha. Allah knows too well of your struggles and He is Merciful and Patient. Don't give up little bro.


3. Even some muslims have a hard time to stop themselves looking at girls. Naturally as your faith increases, everything becomes easier. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, "No man is sin free. But the best of men are those who repent." Even born muslims sin brother. But we repent because Allah is Forgiving and KInd. It's not a reason to leave Islam.

4. Everything is hard in the beginning. Nothing can be achieved without working for it bro. If you didn't do your homework, if you didn't keep up in class, you wouldn't get good grades. So getting anywhere in life requires effort. Fasting is a means of making us pious. If you are struggling. No problem. The main thing is you are making the effort and that is what Allah sees. You mustn't allow yourself to be affected when others are eating. At times like these, remind yourself of the people who are suffering from starvation in the world. Remind yourself of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and how he'd go days without eating because he didn't have any food. Your mind is stronger than your body bro. If you really want, you can do it.

However, I have to add that even if you can't perform the obligatory acts, or perform them irregularly, no problem bro. Allah is Most Merciful and Kind and He is especially Merciful to the believers and thee is absolutely no reason to give up Islam.

Just do your best, and God willing as you get older and circumstances change, you can increase your obligatory duties. But don't leave Islam bro. It is more sinful to leave Islam than to be a muslim and not fulfil your obligations. I pray Allah is Most Mercilful and Kind to you little bro and He helps you overcome your difficulties and makes Islam easy for you. Ameen

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

What more can one say?

Allahumma Ameen!!

FiAmaaniAllah

 

[aadil77]

brother dont turn away from islam - that would be a big mistake, just take it slowly and easy and have the intentions of improving yourself with time

dont give up this is what your test is all about, don't let shaytan turn you away

 

[Somaiyah]

Salam,
Don't give up brother... I have the exact problems as you, but I don't give up. We shall fight for our religion and do what we want. I don't know how I will solve the praying thing at my new university now, but I will ask if they have a room, otherwise I have to find another way because I don't want to do it after. None in my family are Muslims, they truly hate Islam and call it the Devil's religion. I don't eat with them, I do my own food normally. That works great too.
The girl thing is something all men has as a problem. But one act goes to another act. Maybe if you continued to pray, increased your iman, felt sure in your religion - that thing about shyness for girls would come too. I believe in it that way. And then the fasting, I'm fasting alone and know so many others doing it too. We break the fast alone, just borrow the kitchen for a while, and do everything alone.
I believe the most important for you is to have faith in Allah (swt), believe in yourself and become more independant. I know that you're young and it's easy to get affected by others, I feel that often, but you can do it inshallah.

 

[Proud of Islam]

And I will keep Islam as the only truth, peaceful, "clean" religion, and Mohamed (peace be upon him) as the best prophet of Allah.

Since you're saying that, I am sure insha Allah that you have faith.. and Allah, His prophet, and Islam are in your heart..

But your problem is the difficulties, right?

Think brother about the following:

--- Studying is a very long journey and it's full of difficulties.. Assignments, projects, exams, headache! It deprives us from doing whatever we want since we don't have enough time; studying takes long time.. BUT why don't you give up? Why we see most people continue their studies till the university graduation and even many of them go for the higher studies? Why we see students paying hard efforts in order to pass and not be kicked out the school? A simple answer is the rewards after being educated.. You'll have a good position in the society, you'll find a job, and you'll be knowledgeable in many fields..

--- Working is a very difficult daily task.. employees are also deprived from doing whatever they want; for example, they can't travel in a very nice season with family or friends unless they find an official vacation from the administration.. Some workers spend a lot of time doing hard physical work.. Some of them leave their families, and work in another country and feel the difficulty of living in a strange country without relatives.. BUT why don't they give up? Why we see people looking for jobs although its full of difficulties? Why we see that workers are trying to save their jobs and improve their positions? A simple answer is the rewards after working.. Workers have a position among people, they receive money so they spend it for themselves and their families..

--- Having children is very tiring for a women.. Pregnancy and bearing pains are like seeing death! Having children deprives the mother from being free because she always has to look after them.. BUT why don't all women just get married without having children by taking drugs? Why we see women who cannot get pregnant are looking for treatment in many hospitals in different countries? A simple answer is the reward after that.. Being a mother and having a kid has a very special feeling..

And if I continue, we can make a very long list about the difficult tasks that we're doing in life.. So, why don't we see all people committing suicide? Life is FULL of difficulties, BUT we don't give up..

Islam might also be difficult in some ways, but what makes us following it and trying to do our best? A simple answer is the rewards after being Muslims.. These rewards are considerable greater than any other reward for the other tasks in life that I've mentioned.. But the problem with some people, and I pray for Allah that you'll not be among them, is that they do their best for the rewards of their bodies, but they don't care about their souls which are greater than bodies.. People who suffer from working, they want money to be able to feed their selves and their families.. But some people don't care about feeding their souls by having the right religion, Islam..
Or there are some other people who know the rewards of being Muslim, but they are not patient to have that rewards..

Be sure brother that getting the rewards of being Muslim is during life & the Hereafter.. And be sure that the difficulties that you've said will always become easier after practice, but difficulties of the other duties in life are becoming more difficult by the time.. I mean studying is becoming more difficult each year.. A person is having more responsibilities when growing up.. BUT, practicing as a true Muslim is difficult at the beginning and then it becomes easier & easier, till the moment when you feel that you are really HAPPY since you feel that you remember Allah and He is always with you..

Being Muslim insures for you that since your deeds are according to Islam, they will be for your behalf because the rules are from Allah Who created us and completely knows what suits us..

Allah says:
[2:45] And seek assistance through patience and prayer, and most surely it is a hard thing except for the reverent ones..

May Allah make all your difficulties easy for you.. May Allah guide you to complete your life in the straight path..


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Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…