Islam Q&A – Does a husband have to be patient with his wife all the time?

[GINGERBEARDMAN]

https://gingerbeardmansite.wordpres...th-his-wife-all-the-time-and-not-divorce-her/

This is a summary of the response given by Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Jibreen, may Allaah preserve him.


It is permissible for a husband to divorce his wife so long as there is a shar’i reason for doing so, such as a lack of religious commitment, a bad attitude, lack of chastity, negligence, etc., even if she is not a kaafir. But if she is a righteous believer, let him keep her, even if he dislikes some of her characteristics, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her attributes, he will be pleased with another.” (Narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, 1469).

Full fatwah from Islam Q&A given in the link top of the post,


but I've quoted this particular part, a quote from ibn Jibreen (Rahimahullah) as it stresses on the need for the man to be patient and not divorce his wife without a shar'i cause, when we are used to hearing this said to women but almost never to men.

 

[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

This is so true. If your wife (and even your husband) is a practising Muslim, upholds the fardh of Islam and in general has a good character, then patience is key within marriage.

The root of such problems can be high expectations. Sometimes we can build up such high expectations of someone that the moment they fail to fulfil them, you feel a crushing disappointment as if somehow *they* have failed. In reality, it's yourself who expects too much while, ironically, not fulfilling those expectations yourself.

Humans aren't perfect, so give a wife or husband at least some elbow room to have those little faults or imperfections which sometimes drive you up the wall, and look instead at their qualities, their deen, their character. Ultimately, that's more important.