Ummu Sufyaan
is in need of dua
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it sucks how much the needs of your nafs are so integrated and a part of you that you are unaware of where they may have lead you already. whether its your craving for wealth, your hunger, your need to be seen/known whatever it is for you personally that is a fitnah for you, its scary how they are so much a part of you that you are/have become oblivious to them, despite the fact that you live with it all the time and you don't know at which point they will drive you over the edge. they are such a fitnah, we dont even realize it most of the time. all these things have the potential to lead us astray.
its so much more easier to give in and go with the flow, but there's always that thing holding you back...there's always that rahmah (mercy). but what if we do give in? how do we know that we haven't already since these weakness are so integrated within our nafs that we cant see them.
but we've got to keep going, right? its saddening and frightening that it may be at any moment where we do actually give in-if we haven't already. but how do we avoid that? when we need to see our appearance physically, we look in a mirror, but what is the spiritual mirror we can look into?
its scary when sometimes you catch yourself out doing the wrong thing or intending to do the wrong thing. and you wonder what else you could be concealing that hasnt become apparent to you. the nafs and thoughts like to torment, dont they =(
the question: as bolded/underlined above.
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said "Whenever Allah wishes good for a slave, he gives him understanding of the deen." I was being a very lazy guy for sometime and then I really started getting active and saw the above mentioned hadeeth unfold in my life. The iman's ups and downs keep happening but I made an observation this time and saw that when I started to avoid all the sins I could and devoutly serve Allah, I was able to do a lot more of good deeds and I was slowly losing interest in the world's pleasures. Its like if you take a step up, the next steps become easier and easier but when you take a step down it becomes difficult to stop yourself from going down further. Iman is the most delicate thing in the world, I believe, because men with the greatest amount of piety in their hearts have fallen for trivial trials ( a simple example would be iblis). When you keep doing good, you can do lots more of it but when you go bad, its not easy to do even the simple deeds pleasing to Allah.