i started from scratch in '05 - got a few very good books, the most important i'd say is yusuf ali and marmaduke picktall's translations of quran with arabic side by side (they have the least brackets and opinionated verses), i'd listened to the cd in Arabic (sudais) while reading in english simultaneously (the whole Quran about 20 times) - now i can understand the tarawi prayer - even when i don't know the words, the verse fits in and gets put together in my mind from matching words - and believe me it is much more beautiful in arabic - the words have a different texture and mulitple meanings flash through your mind), secondly - a book on the life of the Prophet (pbuh), i got a few - the best was Abridged Biography of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him by imam Muhammad ibn 'abdul Wahhab At-Tamimi darussalam (ebay item no. 200395037867) uk (cheaper - h t t p : / / islamicstore . c o . u k /islamic-books/stories-of-the-prophets/abridged-biography-of-prophet-muhammad-pbuh/
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h t t p : / / w w w . al-hidaayah . c o . u k / abridged-biography-of-the-prophet-by-imam-muhammad-ibn-abdul-wahhab-attamimi-ka7379 . i r ? cName=books-biography-the-prophet-muhammad
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it starts from ibrahim (pbuh) all the way through to the caliphs to the 52nd year, doesn't mince words or avoid controversy.
then i also focused on a summarized english version of sahih muslim i got from hajj back in my ignorance days - compiled by al-hafiz zakiuddin abdul-azim al-mundhiri
just google - amazon - or ebay the name.
also
the lives of the prophets - by imam anwar al awlaki is an EXCELLENT resource - he has made some frustrated comments recently after suffering much persecution - but that collection is AMAZING, you can download it from the islamic torrent sites or support the publishers al basheer by buying it. - he also doesn't mince words or avoid controversy.
i've had some ups and downs since - especially when i fell among people who are casual about the limits of God Almighty, you tend to feel more relaxed about things and it is quite easy to fall into error, so IMHO, try to associate with sincere brothers and sisters, though interacting with others cautiously can help keep your guard up - or you can fall apart again if you fall among the ignorants.
the main thing i would recommend is try your best - and know that Almighty God is watching and guiding you - don't ever lose hope for your faults - and don't ever lose fear - you will fluctuate between fear and hope and you will be safe - one extreme of hope - you'll forget to be heedful, one extreme of fear - you'll lose motivation,
humans are motivated through dopamine and opiates - you can open paths in your brain to release that dopamine for good and pure things - like giving charity and pleasing Allah, while Satan and his followers will try to open paths in your brain to be motivated by decadence, crime and evil, the choice is the struggle - but the reward is eternal - in this world - and the next, and if you can find a community which lives by these limits - you see the good in this world.
may peace be with you.
