I've Cracked And I'm Back To Square One

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Salaam all

After the best 3 months in years..Ive ruined it and gone back to square one. The month before Ramadhan, Ramadhan itself and the month after it i was fine, but suddenly i cracked. An argument between those close to me broke out and i was so angry i went back to how i was...

Zina of the eyes... :( I've seen the most disgusting things you cant imagine and Its killing me.

I need help, I feel my soul is dying and I feel ashamed to ask Allah SWT for forgiveness...I was on the path to recovery but i blew it and now i somehow need to start again :cry: I don't deserve to live and i don't know what to do, like a headless chicken...

O Allah SWT, please erase my memory, purify my heart and lock it so shaytan cannot penetrate it.. I am so sorry...

Please do dua for me. Any words of advice or words of wisdom is appreciated.

Thank You
 
:sl:
1. the doors of repentance are still open.

2. try to suppress your desires as best as possible. the best way to do this, is to turn away from whatever haraam you desire the second you feel like disobeying Allah. this is the most grilling of challenges, but the most beneficial as it'll get you into a habit of suppressing your self when needed most. in other words, when you feel like committing the same sin again, your "psyche" recoginzes when and what to stay away from as it is something familiar to it...so it becomes a habit....does that make sense?

3. when you feel like sinning, try to know what affects it'll have on you in the long run...so today it'll be looking, then tomorrow what? do you really think it'll end at where you want it? do you really think it will leave you? think about it wisely... a stitch in time, saves nine as they say...
see this: http://www.islamicboard.com/1116378-post1.html

4. when you feel like sinning, immediately turn your thoughts away from it, and turn them into something more beneficial. listen to a lecture instead...ring up a friend and chat with them etc, etc...

5. hang out with the right crowd and try to preoccupy yourself with beneficial stuff...

6. an interesting read:
http://www.islamicboard.com/manners...-great-virtue-lowering-sight.html#post1211324
 
Last edited:
:sl: Great advice sis^

I feel ashamed to ask Allah SWT for forgiveness
Click to expand...
Still ask. Feeling ashamed is good, and asking Allah to forgive you in that state is even better. It shows that despite knowing your own sins you still believe in the mercy of Allah subhana wa ta 'ala and therefore have taqwa.

Start the day with the rememberance of Allah. Make a habit of reciting al Quran after Fajr salah. Keep your tongue engaged in dhikr. This will keep you awareness of Allah heightened and shield you from undesirable acts. Nothing can protect and save us except Allah and His rememberance. Force yourself to adhere to things Allah loves. Patience is of three types. One is in fulfilling the acts of worship patiently and not rushing or feeling bored with them. Nothing that has good intention and effort behind it goes to waste. So, start again and make plenty of astaghfaar and ibadah and ask Allah to help you overcome your weaknesses. Allah's mercy is unlimited and He will shower you with it in abundance if you ask.


:wa:
 
zina of the eyes is not as bad as actually committing zina. i have a feeling you are talking about porn? ask forgiveness everyday and slowly get away from that sin and maybe do a couple of days of fasting. fasting erases some of your bad deeds.
 
thinking your back to square one isnt going to help you at all. just remember all the progress you made and forget about what you did. :nervous: just carry on practising islam like nothing happened.

keep doing jihad against your nafs over little things - eg force yourself to read salah precisely when it starts, read certain amount of quran everyday no matter what, say bismillah before you start anything. this will help build your willpower and keep you in remembrance of Allah.

the most important thing though is duaa and namaz
 

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