Jamil's Story.

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Jamil woke up feeling like a car wreck. His mouth felt like an unwashed carpet, and he seemed to be able to think of only one thing - he was wasted.
A text message beeped on his phone.


To: Jamie
From: TZ

Heavy night last night, bro. Still got some weed left over.
Dude, that was one live party.
Gotta Give Mo cred for holding one like that.
Din noe he had it in him.
N were the hell did all those girls come from?
They jus kept fallin out of the sky.
hahahahaha

'Jamie' managed a smile. TZ was a joker.

'Jamil. Jamil can I come in?'

Shoot. His mother was here. She couldnt see him like this. He was still in his levis and pink polo. Quickly, he downed some water and pulled the covers to his head.

'Ya habibi, I need you to help me today, please, please'. He knew why she had to plead. She was scared. Pshh, stupid woman. Why would he help her? What had she done for him, apart from try to keep him home and make him pray all day?

'Listen, its friday and youve gotta go mosque and we have guests. So get up please, yalla!'

He turned from her.
No. Go away man. Whats wrong with you? Go clean up yourself, your a woman, go do what your stupid culture tells you and cook and clean and whatever.

His mother shook her head sadly. She'd lost her son, she knew it. She longed for the days that he used run up and join his father in prayer, with his miniature prayer mat. But then he'd changed, he'd 'grown up' into a teenager. More like a monster.

Beep.

To: Jamie
From: TZ

Yo jamie, come down to Baz's place
Were gonna roll up a few zubbys and crack a few cans of lager.
Oh ,and play a few games.
Up 4 it?
dnt b l8 bro,
1.30, u got 20 mins.



Suddenly, Jamil heard the athan.
For a fleeting moment, he felt something in him, a shadow of the boy he used to be.
No, the boy his mom wanted him to be.
And his father. Just thinking of his father made him furious.



At Baz's House....

Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaamieee Myyy mannnn!
Sup Mo. You still got the nerve to come here after that wild party u had?
Shut up. Here. Catch.
Thanks. U know...I was thinking, maybe we should go down the mosque today.

TZ Snorted.

hahahha ! Joker. Stop with your mosque jokes. You make me laugh.
Nah Im serious.
*Baz narrows his eyes*
Listen. Youre either here, with us, living your life, or youre there, with them, praying and whatever other things they do. Dude, why would you wanna give this away for that?
And if you do, then dont ever come back here beggin for crack cuz i will crack your head.
Understand? I risk my life providing u with this stuff. And u repay me by suggesting stupid ideas? Get a life.

Suddenly, they hear voices outside.
Music shakes the street, and a guy in a suit slides smoothly out of his shiny black lamborghini gallardo.
Someone hammers at the door.

Let me in, Baz.

Baz jumps up.

Idiots. Dont stare, move, hide the stuff, come on, move it girlies!

I know your in there. And this time youre not getting out alive.


TBC....
 
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The Boys moved like clowns, falling all over the place.

They had never expected this to happen.

Baz, Stupid Baz, Jamil thought angrily.

Suddenly, he repressed a laugh. Baz, what a stupid name. He knew that Baz's name was Basil, and that he was no less of a born muslim than Jamil was. Except he'd ran away from home and now lived in a dirty flat on a dirty estate, living a dirty life.

And TZ...well, no one knew anything about him.

Mo, well, he of course, was called mohammed. Jamil's top lip curled as he thought of how Mo should be the last person on earth to be called after a prophet.

MOVE JAMIE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DONT STAND THERE, MOVE. WE HAVE TO CLIMB OUT OF THE OTHER WINDOW, LEAVE, NOW, AHEAD OF ME. THE OTHERS HAVE ALL GONE. GET OUT BEFORE WERE DEAD.

Jamil didnt know what to do. Part of him wanted to run with his friends, feel like part of a pack again. But another part wanted to die, to stop living this pointless life that lead to nowhere.

Suddenly, he knew what to do. He needed guidance, and right now, he couldnt wait.
He didnt remember how to pray, but he knew how to ask for help. Common sense.

He Dropped to his knees and lifted his hands upwards, to the heavens.

Ya Allah. He whispered, feeling ashamed to be asking help of allah, after disobeying him for so long, after fighting a battle against him, and of course, losing.

Ya Allah, I know that my tongue is not worthy of these words, but please show me which way to go, which path to take, I am alone right now save from you, and one breath away from death. Ya allah...


He had been getting worked up inside, but suddenly, he found himself speechless, breathless, and washed over by emotion. Uncontrollable tears shook him and made him unable to continue, but he knew that the one he was supplicating to knew what he wouldve said without him saying it, and he felt like he had found the missing piece of his puzzle.

Baz, Im coming to kill you, ive broken down your crappy door and im about to shoot you, you dog.


Jamil was stuck. His so called friends had left him.
He didnt care about them anyway.

Ya allah, one last thing ... save me from death, now that ive just discovered life.

Police sirens rounded in the distance, They were getting closer.

Baz, ill leave you this time, but I EXPECT THE MONEY FOR THE STUFF TONIGHT AT OUR USUAL PLACE, BE THERE. REMEMBER, 10K YOU OWE ME.

A smile played on Jamil's lips, and he whispered his thanks to Allah.

Now, how would he break it to his parents...


To be continued.

Sabahiyat, thanks for your interest

ill keep writing for you lol x
 
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Yanal said:
Nice story is it true?
Click to expand...

Nahhhhh Sorry imsad

But i know its definately happend i mean how long has this world been around n how many people one of them must have gone thru this.

:><:


Fanks Sis Dnt stop readinn

x
 
It's kind of hard to follow without the punctuation, but I suppose it adds to the 'gangster' feel of the story.

Have you decided on the ending? Can we have some major death? ^_^
 
The Ruler said:
It's kind of hard to follow without the punctuation, but I suppose it adds to the 'gangster' feel of the story.

Have you decided on the ending? Can we have some major death? ^_^
Click to expand...

Actually...I havent. I just make it up as i go lol.
Yhyh Death, Luuurrve, marriage, etc etc.


The usual :rollseyes
 
Part 3 .


Jamil felt intoxicated. Not the kind of intoxicated where he had smoked one too many spliffs or drunk too much beer.

This was a peaceful, dreamlike kind of intoxication, the kind where you feel on top of the world. This was what some people described love to be like, but this was stronger than mortal love, this was his sudden, newfound love for his creator.

Jamil could hardly believe how fast things had happened - like a bullet fired from a gun, he had come here to get wasted with his boys, had been near to death, and then suddenly felt more alive than ever before.

Suddenly, he felt a hard thump on his shoulder.

JJ U WASTEMAN ! WE THOUGHT U WAS DEAD, I SWEARDOWN U SCARED US. Raah how comes ur alive? Do u know who that was? That guy owns a marijuana plantation n he sells Baz all the bags he uses to make a living. But Baz has been avoiding him and dats why he came 2 Baz's place. See if he wasnt gonna kill us he wud neva step inside our hood, dat guy has killed befo' n he aint shook (scared) to do it again!

Jamil's eyes we cold as stone as he turned to face his lifelong friend, who really wasnt a friend at all. Jamil remembered all the times Mo had dissed his parents, all the times Mo had dissed the deen, all the times he'd stood him up, stolen his money, spread crap about him. All the countless things he'd done. Anger welled inside him, and it took all Jamil's strength not to mess up Mo's face.


Listen, I dont want anything to do with you guys, ok? Stay away from me, I want to change everything, and I dont want you guys coming back to remind me of how I used to be. Mo, its over ok, and if I was you I'd walk with me to the mosque before its too late Bro. Did you see how close we came to death then? And what if we'd died? Youre not even 1% muslim, in fact, if there was a opposite you would be one. Im wasting my breath init?

Mo sneered. How dare Jamie start all this crap? Who did he think he was? Mo never liked him anyway. He was too gay and girly and disgraced them all the time anyway with his sudden 'holy' moods.

Youre acting like were married. ITS OVER! Know what, no one cares where you go. Mosque? Have a laugh bro. And we wernt gonna die, you were just bieng a prick and wanted to commit suicide. Im out, and i got a head screwed on my shoulders so i aint gonna die anytime soon. Traitor.

Mo partly turned around, and then turned back around and spat at Jamil's shoes. And with that, he was gone.

Jamil walked on, and just as he got to the end of the street, he heard a gunshot, caught a glimpse of the black lambo, and saw Mohammed's body on the pavement, bleeding and dying, blood bubbling out of his mouth, trying to get up again, and failing painfully.

Tears sprung to Jamil's eyes, and he felt his feet run towards the end of the street.

MOHAMMED! MO! Jamil knelt at his friends side and picked up his head, trying to find the wound. Quickly, he pulled out his phone, and then saw his friend on the brink of death. He put his phone down, and remembered something.
Mo, listen. Youre not gonna make it. Say these words, I know you cant talk, but say it in your heart. Its your final chance. OK, say LA ILLAHA ILLA ALLAH.

Mo shook his head, and tried again to get up, not accepting his death. In his mind, images of his life flashed by, and he knew that he had been wrong. But it was too late now, and he could hear nothing, only see the blurred image of a man, a boy...or was it a girl? What he saw next terrified him, and Jamil could see his eyes glaze over, and suddenly, he sat back on his ankles and found that he couldnt cry.

And with one last gurgle, Mohammed lay still, his eyes cold and unseeing, and Jamil knew it was all over.


To be continued ..
 
:sl:
If he had said it....he wouldve been accepted in heaven.
 
:sl:
Whats the use of trying? He shouldve considering he did so many bad things to Jamik that he couldn't listen to him in his death bed...
Excellent story though.
:sl:
 
Half of part 3...


Jamil felt like he had aged years since last when, he had been dancing drunkenly, stumbling around everywhere and finally crawling back home and collapsing on his bed at 6 am.

Tears sprung to his eyes. So he had seen how people died and how people killed, how death was more certain than life, and looking down at Mo's stone cold face, stuck in a terrified and terrifying expression, had realized how he, too, couldve been killed, how it couldve been him lying there, and how now, there was nothing he could do to help his friend. He raised his hands to pray anyway, just in case maybe, it would make a difference.

YA ALLAH, Jamil sobbed, YA ALLAH HAVE MERCY ON MY FRIEND, FOR EVEN THOUGH HE WAS DISOBEDIANT AND PROUD, HE BELIEVED IN YOUR ONENESS, YA ALLAH, PLEASE SAVE HIM FROM HELL.

And then Jamil carried Mo, him being muscular, tall and well built and Mohammed having a skinny frame. He held his breath in and bit his tongue so as not to cry. His family would not take it easily, so he had to be the man.

Mo's sister answered the door, and for a brief nanosecond Jamil was surprised at how beautiful she was. No, he wasnt like that anymore. He lowered his gaze and cleared his throat.

Asalamu alaykum. Mohamed was...he was...martyred earlier..la illaha illa allah, ukhti. I-i-inshallah Allah will grant him Jannah....


But was he? He had not even died a proper muslim. His sister looked away, remembering how her brother despised and bullied her when he was alive. Then she had flashbacks of happy days playing in the sea, watching cartoons, fighting over the last cookie, sneaking sweets to their room before dinner so mummy wouldnt find out, and she couldnt stop the tears from coming. They seemed to be determind to keep flowing, and she felt her mouth suddenly sticky, in an O shape.

Jamil looked painfully embarassed, but sad as well.

La hawla wa la quwata illa billah. Ya allah, ya allah, please forgive my brother. Jamil, thank you so much, its very kind of you to come here. Come in, please. Help me to break it to my mother.

She fixed her hijab and showed Jamil in, making sure she walked behind, and she was surprised to find his gaze lowered. Jamil was usually a huuuge flirt, she had seen him with her friends - maybe it was his friend's death - or had she heard him mention Allah's name?

She made her way upstairs to wake her sleeping mother.

Ummi, Ummi, before I tell you, will you say that you forgive Mohammed and pray for Allah to grant him Jannah? I know he did some bad, ummi, but please, he needs it.

Her mother smiled. Since when did Ma'ha and Mohammed get on this well? She was glad, maybe her son had righted himself.

Well of course, baby. Yes, i forgive him, and ya allah please grant all my children Jannah and forgive their sins, ameen.

Ma'ha smiled gravely. At least this would benefit Mohammed somehow.

Ummi, hes been killed. May allah forgive him and us, and re unite us in Jannah, inshallah. Her voice wobbled. She turned away, and saw her mothers eyes lose their glow, and saw her head fall back against the pillow.

UMMMIIIII! she shrieked. Quickly, she splashed water on her face and help her mother's head up, and she was revived.

La ilaha illah allah. Please go and ring the masjid Ma'ha, so they will pray over his janazah, and bury him tomorrow, inshallah.



is it just me or is this story going sooo slow lol ? what can i do to speed it up?
 
is it just me or is this story going sooo slow lol ? what can i do to speed it up?
Click to expand...

:sl:

It's just you i guess, I think it's really great so far, and the pace is perfect! :)
lol i just had some flashbacks to when i use to write stories, maybe i'll start again this summer,

post up the next part soon!
 
Part 3 - second half..

Two Years Later...

Asalamu-alaykum, ummi. Im back! Mum, theres something important I wanna talk to you about...

Habibi, go ahead. Wait, before you do, put the groceries away, please.

Jamil laughed and kissed his mother's gently furrowed forehead.

Sure mum, anything for you

Jamil quickly put the ice-cream in freezer, the spices in the cupboard and the fruit and veg in the fridge.


Done, now mumma please sit down cuz this is gonna be...loooong!

Gosh, i never thought boys fancied heart to hearts with their mums

Jamil Groaned.

Mum, I'm 22, and its sunnah to marry young..so I thought, you know, maybe...ehmm...

For some reason, Jamil suddenly felt a bit awkward and embarassed.

Oh honey, how sweet...yes, I do think you should...and I know just the right girl...

Ehhhh...mum, i have someone in mind...ill take you round there right now if you like..

Suddenly, he got a text message on his phone.


From: Anon.
To: Jamie.

Were gonna kill u tr8r
We nw u betrayd uz. U r da reason mo is ded. Shame doe he was a tru 1.


Jamil drew in his breath...why couldnt they just leave him alone and get a life? He wasnt scared, more like mildly annoyed.
Anyway, he had places to go, people to see.


20 minutes later...

It felt weird stepping in Mohamed's house without him there, felt weird saying salams to his family and keeping his gaze lowered.

Salamlaykum Ma'ha habibti! Hows your mum? Oh honey you're beautiful...god am gonna get all sentimental now...I cant believe it

Believe what?

Your going to get..

MUM! SHHHH! youre gonna get ...a ... uh...dollar! See

Jamil felt like an idiot. Why didnt he want her to know? He produced a dollar out of his pocket and smiled shyly.

My mom gets sentimental about acts of kindness like...


Giving money to the poor?, Ma'ha said cuttingly, giving him a withering glare, then turning to his mother.

Aunty, please come in! Lemme Make some tea...let Jamil stay with uncle, hes here today!

Ok sweetie...listen, I wanna talk to you about Jamil..

Ma'ha's mind whirred...what about him? He was a druggie? He was her brother's best friend? He was a flirt? HEY! thats it..could he..possibly.. want to marry her? But surely, he wouldnt do it this way...Jamil was the type to go out with you for three years, break your heart, ring you back up and ask you to dinner, and then randomly pull out a stolen ring and ask you to say I do.
And, all this time, he would either be:

A) DRUNK.
B) STONED.
C) BOTH!

Subhanallah. She shook her head. Well, if he had changed the way he rolled and turned into a decent guy...he was kinda cute...NOT THAT SHE'D NOTICED! She wrinkled her forehead and poured the tea.

When she returned to the sitting room, her mother looked ecstatic. And Jamil's mother was crying. Oh God, she had been right.
She felt herself go pink and tried to act as if she didnt have a clue.

Eh....How many sugars, mum?

OH SWEETHEART! , Her mother stood up and smothered her in kisses CONGRATS, CONGRATULATIONS BABY! YOURE GETTING MARRRRRR-HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD!. Her mother did the egyptian zagroota (which was really noisy) and clapped her hands delightedly. Ma'ha felt bewildered. Should she be happy...

Mum, has Jamil..you know..gotten better

OH YES HONEY, HES A PERFECT MUSLIM! MASHALLAH!
LETS CALL THE SHEIKH RIGHT NOW! GIVE ME MY PHONE SWEETIE!


So the sheikh was called, they got married...and lived happily everly after.


But between that and now, theres alot of tests n trials...

so watch for part 4 :)
 
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So the sheikh was called, they got married...and lived happily everly after.


But between that and now, theres alot of tests n trials...

so watch for part 4
Click to expand...

:sl:

hope you dnt mind some critique :-[ the beginning of this chapter was really nice, but the end kind of ended suddenly you know? between where he proposes and where she accepts you can add a lot of detail, like did they have a meeting to get to know each other? what was going on through her mind? Jamil was a bad boy before, how can her parents be sure that he's changed now? maybe you can write about how he tries his best to proove that to them

and another thing, his former friends had sent him a threat, does anything come out of it?

I'm looking foward to the next part :)
 
loool okk sis just that i thought u guys wud get bored of sooo much info.


illl add some more ;) I know u sisters love all the lil romantic details loools.

:P

besides, the threat was gnna show up agen, no worries ;)
 
:sl:

first when i saw the thread title i thought 'who's Jamil' now i know ... really good sis mashaAllah... unfortunately things like this do happen ...post part 4 quick :D

I think sis 'The Ruler' wants more action noh?

wa/salam
 
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