:jz:
All your replies have been very helpful.
Asalamualykum,
You know some people are born with the knowledge/passion and know which career/job/course they want to do and others are not too sure. I fall under the category of not too sure as well. Only because i like to do everything and anything especially, if it involves working and interacting with people.
I think over time you gradually start to understand your real likes and dislikes.
Maybe this site will help. Please click on http://www.prospects.ac.uk/
You can even type the relevant skills and experience you have and it will give you some ideas on the possibilities of jobs that may be of interest to you. It also gives you a description of which qualities are needed for each profession so you have an idea whether that profession may be for you.
Hmmm, that's a hard one. Start off with what you like doing. Make a list of the things you like doing, it doesn't matter if it sounds small. For example, i like talking, i like meeting new people, i like to be organised etc and then make a list of the things you don't like doing. Using this information, you can tailor and find a job/career which is based around your likes and dislikes. Will this help?
As a Muslim our main purpose is to worship Allah swt so this is one of your main goals and this goal should also reflect in your career choice.
May Allah swt make you decisive in life Ameen, if that's what you want.
Making a list of self attributes sounds like a good idea. I was always considered a shy person and have always avoided jobs where I dealt with customers directly, but in instances where I had to deal with them, I actually found sanctification in informing/educating/helping people on whatever it was I was doing for them (auto mechanics, air conditioning, IT work, etc.). Now as I get older, being some sort of educator (maybe even a coach?) has crossed my mind which was something I never thought about doing. Only problem with that is I'd have to stick around in a specific field to be good enough to actually go out and teach it. Thank you for the link. I'm in the US, but it shouldn't matter I don't think.
Iv led a similar life although I usually don't choose when I leave places lol.
I often feel regret because of the wrong choices I have made..
You should realise how lucky you are to be able to still make those decisions.
Knowledge is nothing if you are not able to apply it..
If you can still do so, count yourself doubly lucky.
Alhamdullillah
Brother, a lot of us have regrets and I'm full of them. Some who are fortunate are able to visit the things they missed out on in the past and a lot of us are unfortunate to where we can't. I used to let my regrets bring me down emotionally, but over the years I used those regrets as a way to learn what not to do and to make better decisions in life. Almost like a "you become wiser as you age" sort of thing. A lot of times it's easier said than done though.
Indecision isn't really a bad thing. You don't have to make a choice if the time is not right. Perhaps it would a prod for you to begin the investigation and research so that if you had to make, it is one of thorough consideration.
I guess the main reason for indecision is being afraid to make mistakes.
We got to remember that the right reasons to do things can be as a disastrous as a wrong decision to do things. Success or failure is Allah's Will. But we have to 'put' in to better our chances. Accept success or failure as part of life, take the result, review it, make whatever correction and take the next step. Life goes on. Don't grow old with life full of missed opportunities. Not talking about opportunities to go astray.
Hope I'm making sense. Typing on a phone is hard.
eace:
You made perfect sense :thumbs_up
I'm glad Br. Anonymous posted this thread. I'm the same exact way. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life in terms of a career. I do have dreams of financial security and success. But lose interest very quickly in subjects and work.
I read a while back its about chasing something you like and once you have it you lose interest. I think the article was about an Olympic gold medalist who won and then committed suicide. I think it happens with people who are one track minded. Alhamdulillah I am no where near committing suicide and I hope and pray Br. Anonymous isn't either.
I open to suggestions to self-help videos, books, or techniques to make this more manageable.
Definitely not suicidal. Anytime I'm in any kind of situation where I'm down, I just think about how petty my problems are compared to others. It doesn't fix my issues, but it helps me realize I'm way more fortunate than a lot of people and that I need to simply say alhamdulillah for everything I do have.
Not sure if you've heard of tedtalks before, but it actually has a lot of great videos of people going on stage and talking about anything and everything with a lot of motivational speakers. There are even some Muslims on there. What I like about it is that they are short videos so they don't take up too much time. www(dot)ted(dot)com/talks InshAllah that will be beneficial to you in some way
Assalaamu alaikum,
I mulled over your question yesterday. I wondered if you were the kind of person who need a certain amount of excitement and challenges in his life. And I wondered if you might enjoy working in a field where there are is a lot of variety and need for quick thinking and actions. A first responder, for instance, such as a paramedic. Or perhaps a firefighter. Or a tour guide into exotic locations. These require an attention to detail in unpredicatable circumstances.
But I also started to have some philosophical thoughts… To make a strong society, we need people with different kinds of skills and temperaments. Some people are very focussed, and can specialize in something, but others have more scattered interests, and can see things in a more holistic way. Our industrial society tends to reward the former over the latter. But really, we need both these character traits in our society. Part of the imbalance in our modern world is due, I think, to this tendency towards specialization.
Perhaps you could be a unifying factor in our society? One of those jack-of-all-trades who can cross-pollinate between different fields? Who can see a bigger picture? Who can integrate different areas of knowledge?
I also starting thinking about how we try to make ourselves fit into the shapes that are required in our industrial system. We try to make our square pegs round. And then I thought of a homeschooling family I knew many years ago. The mother stayed home and raised the children, and the father worked part-time at various different jobs. And they did rather well. They had a nice house and a good home life. How did they do this? Well, the father was rather handy. That is, he had a variety of skills he could apply both to what needed to be done at home, as well as what he could do as work. The family was also rather thrifty. Not poor. Careful with their money. And they seemed a relaxed and content family.
I moved away from that city, but I heard a little about the family over the years. Their children grew up… and I know one daughter started her own company with her young husband. Again, they don't work too, too much. They did at first to set the company up, but it is seasonal work, and they now employ other people. So they are able to work as much as they need, and live life the rest of the time. (smile) It's not a very glamourous kind of work, but it's suffices to their needs. And they, too, are content.
It seems to me that rather than make your peg round, perhaps you could look into how you can make yourself a square hole?
It is well-known in homeschooler circles that when you take children out of the school system, they often have little motivation to learn, and just want to do nothing much. And that the best thing to do, is to step back, and let them find their feet. If your child has been in the system for a considerable amount of time, they may need a year to clear their minds and find some interest in life again. This is what veteran homeschoolers who took their children out of school and went on to homeschool successfully say: give your children time and space to find themselves. And they will rediscover the joy of learning. Of living.
Perhaps, rather than just taking a week or two off, perhaps you need to take more time off? Instead of perpertually running after one job or course after another… maybe you need to stop? To get off the treadmill that you are running on, but that is taking you nowhere...To take time to think. To dream. To have the time to research something in depth. To relax. To pray. You say you have savings… why not take a sabbatical?
You wouldn't be "dropping out" of your life. You'd be "rising out" of it. You would be looking for a state of mind that could let you look at your life, your self, and contemplate what is important and meaningful to you, and to give you time to plan how you might get there.
Allah Created us all unique. We all have a particular role in this life. A vocation. But we get so caught up in the ceaseless clamour of the modern corporate-industrial system, that our inner voice is hard to hear. Our inner compass is confused by the fluctuating enticements and demands that this magnetic world throws at us.
A conscious choice to stop and contemplate is not a sign of weakness and failure… quite the contrary, it is a hard and difficult journey upstream to find The Source. (smile) This is why I say it is "rising out" of you present life. You wouldn't be "dropping out" through burnout or addiction or futile rebellion. You would be rising to the challenge of discovering what you could do that is most Pleasing to Him.
(smile) And it may be that you discover that your role is a humble and simple one, and it may be that the generality of society may not see you as a great success. But if you are doing what you feel to be in harmony with His Will… (smile) then might this not be the greatest success of all?
May Allah, the Timeless, Help us to sense His Will for us… and strengthen our commitment to Him.
Ameen. Very informative post sister. When you mentioned that I might possibly need more challenges and variety in my life, I thought about it for a second and I started thinking back to different times in my life when I was genuinely happy in life. Granted, this was during a time when I was young and most people at these ages are pretty happy, but during middle and high school I used to play soccer (football
) and was very athletic. What I liked about it was that I was (and still am to some degree) a very athletic and competitive person. No matter how many years I played, the nervousness and adrenaline rush was always there before every game. It's a very unique but also very satisfying feeling. More importantly though, it made me into a better person imo because I always had energy and motivation to do things and I had a better personality and relationship with my family. Unfortunately, I didn't stick with it for whatever reason and this is one of the regrets I'm referring to in my reply above and at the age of 29, 'that ship has sailed' as they say.
I think I have been looking for that same experience and feeling all these years which is why I'm always going from one thing to another in an attempt to find it. I've done everything from IT work to HVAC to automotive repair to plumbing to construction and several other different types of work thinking I would find that same experience only to left hanging. One thing that I realized when I was in IT was that I hated being indoors and surrounded by other people which is why I have so much background with the skilled trades work, but I don't think that line of work is for me. Most people who get into that are naturally mechanically inclined. I, on the other hand, am not and have to continually learn the specific trade I'm in because it doesn't come to me naturally. In the end, I don't think the skilled trades path is for me, but until I find my place in life, it's all I have at the moment. The positive side to having all that experience though is that I never have to call anyone to fix anything for me similar to the father in your story so for that I say alhamdulillah
Ultimately, my goal in life outside of the religion (learning Arabic, memorizing Quran, ect.) is to find comfort in the work that I do regardless of income and to get married and have a family. I'm not getting any younger, so with every year that passes by, it starts to get a little more stressful.
Thanks again for the replies guys. It's helped me think a little deeper about what it is I'm looking for in life and inshaAllah it will bring me one step closer to finding it and also maybe to help others here who are in similar situations to help them find what they want in life as well.
