Learning to drive

[noraina]

Assalamu alaykum,

So while a part of me does want to learn, I am very hesitant about driving.

I wouldn't think of myself as a particularly nervous person but the thought of driving along roads makes me feel really anxious. I have this feeling of dread when I try to imagine myself behind the wheel.

Most of my cousins are learning or have learnt how to drive, and my little sister is quite confident about learning as soon as she is legally old enough. It's just me it seems.

There's no rush or anything, I know. I'm used to my dad taking my everywhere, or using public transport. Generally I'm not desperate about learning to drive either, I live in a small town so most things are within walking distance. I suppose living like that forever wouldn't be too bad, lol?

 

[*charisma*]

walaikum asalaam,

What aspect of it makes you scared?? It's natural to be a bit anxious, but once you learn really, it gets a lot easier. You can start out in large parking lots or (empty) parks I remember trying to teach my cousin at a park near a cemetery and she nearly drove through someone's grave ;D luckily he's already dead, but still..safer than the streets lol.

If you're really interested in learning and conquering your fears, take it easy at first and transition into the busier areas. It's helpful to know how to drive, especially for emergencies.

 

[noraina]

I have driven around in a relatively empty area a couple of times, but the idea of hitting the road just seems so daunting.

I've read a lot about driving and I understand the fundamentals, but my confidence crumbles when I get round to doing it. My fear comes from this awful certainty I'm going to do something wrong and make a terrible mistake.

I know that's utter nonsense lol but no matter how much I try to rationalise it in my head it's still terrifying.

In my diary I've written that I should have learnt by the time I'm 21, maybe 25 at most. But that's just procrastinating, isn't it?

 

[*charisma*]

You can read about it til pigs fly, but nothing compares to actually going out there and doing it

I think my first driving experience was actually on a highway. I got to drive fast and it was somewhat relaxing because I didn't have to worry about traffic signs. Driving on the street only gets better with practice and actually knowing your way. So I suggest you drive to and from places you are REALLY familiar with at first, like say you go from your house to the local library everyday or to a shop (or wherever you are familiar with and don't need directions to get to).

Do they have professional driving instructors there in the UK? You should book a few lessons because their cars have a second set of brakes, so they can stop you in case you do something wrong.

 

[ardianto]

Assalamualaikum.

I am 49 years old now. But I've been driving cars for 36 years. I got driver licence in age 13 and have raced in sprint rally before my 15th birthday.

Driving and riding was my childhood dream. That's why when I was kid I have learned many things about driving and vehicle, before I start to drive. I started learn from driving theories. Not just about forward and reverse, but in depth, like oversteer and understeer, aquaplaning, centrifugal force, situation that could be happen and how to handle, etc. I learned from automotive magazines and from TV programs.

The next step was learning through seeing. When my family went to other cities I always sat on front, beside my father who drove the car. In the beginning I just watching how he turn, accelerate, braking, shifting. Later I trained myself to understand what the driver should do. In example, when the car approached a road curve, I told myself in the heart "brake slowly, ..... shift down .... accelerate". The next step was practice driving from professional instructor.

Learn driving through this process made me could master the technique of driving easier and faster. Also made me more confident to drive.

Now sometime I become analyst in Youtube for driving videos. In example, in comment section of a road accident video I wrote what made the car in video moved like that, what made the driver late to brake his car, etc.

 

[noraina]

They do have a lot of professional driving instructors here...maybe I should just get my parents to book a few lessons and pay for them to force myself to try and learn. My dad also recommended the motorway (or highways as the Americans say ) as a good place to first try our driving.

Probably the longer I leave it the more my hesitations about driving will increase.

I understand that both of you are saying I should try and learn in a more practical way, by actually driving. The amount I've read I could probably theoretically compete in Formula One and yet in real life I struggle with getting a car out of a parking slot, lol.

And brother ardianto, 13? Wow, and I wonder why I'm sitting here at this grand old age thinking why I can't manage it .

 

[Simple_Person]

DO NOT LEARN TO DRIVE!!. Driving is dangerous, as the car mostly has no mind of its own.

Go buy a donkey, donkeys are stubborn, but they are smart. When you are tired, he automatically will bring you home. Companies are way behind this ability of the vehicle bringing you home. Also a donkey just needs some grass and water from time to time. No expensive gasoline that goes up and down daily. That being said, donkeys are very good for the environment. What goes in is made in nature and what goes out is also good for environment as it enriches the soil. Also most forget to mention. A donkey even can talk to you. Who needs a radio right?..SO I SAY NO TO DRIVING.

Serious mode: To be honest, no vehicle can replace donkeys, horses and camels. Very depended animals. You will have respect for them even when you have used them for years, while buying a car 1 year later you treat it as some piece of ..*kuch*...

It is not that scary driving a car. Back in 2009 when i was learning to drive, i was saying to myself. If there are those old ladies that can drive, how hard is it? So if a Simple_Person like me can drive a car, for sure you can also learn it.

 

[sister herb]

I haven´t ever need a car, I like sister noraina, live in a small town where everything is near and if not, I can use the public transport.

But, I had a driving license - I learnt to drive when was 18. After 30 years I realised I haven´t drove a car at all, I have forgot all rules of the road, so I realised it´s the best to give it back to police. I don´t miss it at all as I am sure I might be a great risk in the traffic, if I would just jumped to the car and started driving.

I would advice you to try, if you want. Tell to the driving instructor about your hesitation. He/she is a professional and surely has seen many young, nervous drivers during the years and can help and advice you to win your fears.

 

[*charisma*]

Probably the longer I leave it the more my hesitations about driving will increase.

Yes, that will absolutely be the case. Honestly we can learn new things, but it's a lot harder to learn something new when you're older. I have some relatives who did not learn how to drive and they spent all of their lives depending on someone else to take them places, and let me tell you, it's not always convenient especially when you have kids or hubby is not around. There's no way they'll learn driving now

Once you learn how to drive, eventually it'll be like any other skill. You won't be actively thinking about all of the things you think about when you drive which is what makes people nervous. It just smoothes itself out. You'll get the feel for how fast you're going without having to look at the meter every 10 seconds, or having to remind yourself to put your turn signals on each time you plan on turning. It will just happen. Eventually you'll be so good you'll develop road rage and a colorful vocabulary

 

[Abz2000]

Assalamu alaykum,

So while a part of me does want to learn, I am very hesitant about driving.

I wouldn't think of myself as a particularly nervous person but the thought of driving along roads makes me feel really anxious. I have this feeling of dread when I try to imagine myself behind the wheel.

Most of my cousins are learning or have learnt how to drive, and my little sister is quite confident about learning as soon as she is legally old enough. It's just me it seems.

There's no rush or anything, I know. I'm used to my dad taking my everywhere, or using public transport. Generally I'm not desperate about learning to drive either, I live in a small town so most things are within walking distance. I suppose living like that forever wouldn't be too bad, lol?

Excellent parking simulator to help with spacial estimation and familiarity.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ansangha.drparking4

Sort of decent street driving simulator from the same company:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ansangha.drdriving

I havent tried part 2 yet:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.ansangha.drjb

Regarding women driving, I would prefer to teach my daughters to drive than to send them out with a non-mahram driver, though I would be concerned about sending them out alone in the current climate of hollywood kufr.

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Assalaamu alaikum Noraina,


(smile) I totally understand you. I was very afraid to drive a car... I did get a license when I was 16, but I was very nervous, and then I had a small accident... and I did not drive again for a long time. I felt that I was a hazard on the roads. I was afraid to hurt someone. I thought that I did not have the talent for driving.

But when I was in my 40's (which means, (laugh) not that long ago!), I decided to try to get over my fear. The first and second driving instructors I found tried to mock and bully me into driving... and I nearly quit. But I really wanted to get over this fear, so I tried again. And alhamdullillah, the third instructor was very calming and gentle, and helped build up my self-confidence. (smile) And now I love driving!

(smile) I find that when you are really nervous about something, throwing someone in the deep end tends not to be a good idea... so I would not recommend starting on the motorway (Smile. But perhaps you are an exception...). I would recommend (as was previously mentioned), that you try to find a kindly and gentle person who will encourage you first on small, quiet roads, and then slowly onto faster and more used ones. (smile) And then perhaps you, too, will discover not only that driving can be a pleasure, but that overcoming a fear is very empowering. (smile) And can help you grow spiritually, too (is not learning to overcome a fear a form of self-restraint?).


May God, the Subtle, Bless you, my dear.

 

[Butterfly]

I agree with everyone else who commented! MashaAllah your thinking and logic is very accurate sis [MENTION=38090]noraina[/MENTION]; better to bite the bullet and start somewhere and working towards a goal on learning how to drive.

I'll also add this: as sis [MENTION=282]*charisma*[/MENTION] mentioned, I also found it easier driving on the highway than on local roads. I learned in the wee hours of morning on weekends when most people slept in. Helps avoid traffic and lessens the stress and anxiety of other cars being around you. In the local roads you can put your hazards on, indicating to others that they need to be cautious, or pass by you, and you can feel better about making your way through the curves and stops. In no time you'll be driving, inshaAllah! I'll advise to keep this skill in tune even though everything is conveniently located near you, you never know when it will come in handy.

Best wishes! I hope you do update us when you've successfully learned and passed your exam, inshaAllah =)

I never learned to swim, and as an adult its nerve-wracking just knowing where to start! If I had learned as a child, I wouldn't be so afraid now.

 

[talibilm]

Sister, daughter

My wife tried first time with a driving school and lost hope . But I encouraged her to try again which she refused saying its just a waste of money. But I forced her again and she got it Alhamdulilah, and she felt it as the BEST BLESSING of life that made her work and living SO easy.

So I encourage here every Sister, daughter to learn them and use them in your needs & EMERGENCIES BUT DO NOT MISUSE THEM FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH FOR IDLE DRIVING OR LOITERING WHICH MAY GO NEAR TO HARAM ITSELF AND DO NOT GIVE A CHANCE FOR SHAITAN TO CREATE SUSPICIONS IN THE MIND OF YOUR HUSBAND & others & TEMPT OTHERS TO BACkBITE YOU the sins of which you will receive too for acting irresponsibily

 

[Simple_Person]

I haven´t ever need a car, I like sister noraina, live in a small town where everything is near and if not, I can use the public transport.

But, I had a driving license - I learnt to drive when was 18. After 30 years I realised I haven´t drove a car at all, I have forgot all rules of the road, so I realised it´s the best to give it back to police. I don´t miss it at all as I am sure I might be a great risk in the traffic, if I would just jumped to the car and started driving.

I would advice you to try, if you want. Tell to the driving instructor about your hesitation. He/she is a professional and surely has seen many young, nervous drivers during the years and can help and advice you to win your fears.

I wouldn't advice you to give it back. Rather spend a week in learning the rules again and start practicing with somebody somewhere to get the hang of it. Why? When something might happen, is always good to also be able to drive. I have my driving license already for like 7 years, but i never till now have my own car. I do use occasionally the car of a acquaintance, but never need it directly. In the future also, if no car is needed, i THINK i will not buy one. A car has it's downsides (laziness being one of the biggest issues).

Long live the bike!!!.

 

[noraina]

@Simple_Person, bro, I'd love it if I could go everywhere on horseback but nobody else seems to think that's a good idea. But thank you for your encouragement.

@sister herb, it's the same with my mum. She learned how to drive but it has been years since she ever drove a car and neither does she want to. She's used to my dad taking her everywhere, as am I.

@*charisma* when I was 15 I was quite keen to learn, and then so very slowly I became less and less keen, so who knows how I'll be in 5 years if I don't try, in'sha'Allah I'll give it a another go. I have relatives who road rage like no-one else ;D I'm used to it.

@Abz2000 jazakAllah khayr for that brother. And definitely, may Allah swt protect us from all the fitnah around us, ameen.

@MuslimInshallah, thank you for your encouraging words ukhti. It's true, fearing something really holds one back from something which could be good for them. At the moment my requirements for an instructor are compassionate, gentle and patient, lol.

@Butterfly I've never learned to swim either, and now it just seems to fussy to learn. In'sha'Allah I'll definitely update you all once I've passed!

@talibilm, that's wonderful you encouraged your wife to learn ma'sha'Allah, and yes it is so important not to misuse any privileges we may have and not compromise our modesty, especially for our sisters.

 

[Simple_Person]

@Simple_Person, bro, I'd love it if I could go everywhere on horseback but nobody else seems to think that's a good idea. But thank you for your encouragement.

@sister herb, it's the same with my mum. She learned how to drive but it has been years since she ever drove a car and neither does she want to. She's used to my dad taking her everywhere, as am I.

@*charisma* when I was 15 I was quite keen to learn, and then so very slowly I became less and less keen, so who knows how I'll be in 5 years if I don't try, in'sha'Allah I'll give it a another go. I have relatives who road rage like no-one else ;D I'm used to it.

@Abz2000 jazakAllah khayr for that brother. And definitely, may Allah swt protect us from all the fitnah around us, ameen.

@MuslimInshallah, thank you for your encouraging words ukhti. It's true, fearing something really holds one back from something which could be good for them. At the moment my requirements for an instructor are compassionate, gentle and patient, lol.

@Butterfly I've never learned to swim either, and now it just seems to fussy to learn. In'sha'Allah I'll definitely update you all once I've passed!

@talibilm, that's wonderful you encouraged your wife to learn ma'sha'Allah, and yes it is so important not to misuse any privileges we may have and not compromise our modesty, especially for our sisters.

Rasullah(saws) has said, learn archery, ride a horse and learn to swim. I have never forgotten about this and i have the feeling that this isn't just because he just said it. That this rather might also be a hint to us Muslims living in this day and age. If water would rise, we must be able to swim. If no gas is available or technology in general.. we must be able to ride a horse. If weapons would no longer work, we must be able to use a bow and arrow. Maybe again hint of what is going to come.. Allah knows best.

http://hadithanswers.com/teach-your-children-swimming-archery-and-horse-riding/

 

[ardianto]

Driving is skill that has to be trained regularly. If you stop driving for long time enough, then your skill level would be dropped and you would be hard to drive well and safely.

As driver, indeed, we must learn and obey traffic rules. But the problem is, there are always people on the street (not only drivers) who do not follow traffic rules. That's why we must learn to recognize situation on the street/road and learn to recognize behavior of people on the street.

One group of people that often cause danger on street is pedestrians. They can appear suddenly from behind a parked car. So we must always careful when we drive pass a parked car, or car that stop on the street. That's why we must learn about behavior of pedestrians, behavior of drivers, behavior of motorcycle/bicycle riders. In Shaa Allah, it can minimize risk of accident.

To be the good driver you have to be able to be 'united' with the car. You must able to feel what the car feel. This is why I always suggest people to not learn driving with automatic transmission car, but must learn with manual transmission car. Learn with manual transmission car will train you to feel what the engine feel and then decide when to shift the gear.

 

[Supernova]

I haven´t ever need a car, I like sister noraina, live in a small town where everything is near and if not, I can use the public transport.

But, I had a driving license - I learnt to drive when was 18. After 30 years I realised I haven´t drove a car at all, I have forgot all rules of the road, so I realised it´s the best to give it back to police. I don´t miss it at all as I am sure I might be a great risk in the traffic, if I would just jumped to the car and started driving.

I would advice you to try, if you want. Tell to the driving instructor about your hesitation. He/she is a professional and surely has seen many young, nervous drivers during the years and can help and advice you to win your fears.

Asalaamualaykum

That was a very cute grammatical error - "I like sister Noraina"...supposed to be "I, like sister Noraina, live in ...."

The way you have written that means you like her...Awww CUTE.

 

[sister herb]

Sorry, I forgot the comma but also I do like sister Noraina. :statisfie

With or without comma, I expect that the sentence context told to others what was my meaning.