Living in isolation

[anonymous]

I know "introvert" gets thrown around a lot but this is not some new thing that has happened to me. I'm nearing in my 40s and I can remember for most of my life that I have always wanted to be separate from other people, whether that be in school, on the playground, at work, in family gatherings, and so on. I always hated being forced to socialize with other people or go to certain gatherings. As I'm getting older, this worries me more because I understand Islam to be a religion that is all about family and being there for the community. This is a big problem for me as for most of my adult life, I have lived alone. I don't think this is something that I can change about myself but it is also something that I never learned to accept simply because it goes against the religion and in general, basically the social environment we live in. This creates a sense of stress and anxiety for me because I feel I'm doing something wrong, and maybe I am, but I don't know what to do about it other than living a false life for forcing myself to be around other people.

 

[Muh'd k muh'd]

Masha Allah

 

[Ahmed.]

If you feel you cannot Change it, then no problem, make the most of your life.

As long as you're doing the daily prayers and not indulging in sin (like Satan could get some loners to do) then there isn't really much harm in your lifestyle...

Be happy and content with your life and consider Allah as your companion and friend. Engage more in worship and zikr and try to interact with muslims on forums like this, learning and sharing about Islam.

 

[Imraan]

I know "introvert" gets thrown around a lot but this is not some new thing that has happened to me. I'm nearing in my 40s and I can remember for most of my life that I have always wanted to be separate from other people, whether that be in school, on the playground, at work, in family gatherings, and so on. I always hated being forced to socialize with other people or go to certain gatherings. As I'm getting older, this worries me more because I understand Islam to be a religion that is all about family and being there for the community. This is a big problem for me as for most of my adult life, I have lived alone. I don't think this is something that I can change about myself but it is also something that I never learned to accept simply because it goes against the religion and in general, basically the social environment we live in. This creates a sense of stress and anxiety for me because I feel I'm doing something wrong, and maybe I am, but I don't know what to do about it other than living a false life for forcing myself to be around other people.

always remember there are people in situations far worse than you or far worse than you could possibly imagine.

did you know the less you interact with people the poorer your character judgement of people is?... there is a definete correlation. i never really had many experience with girls outside my family, only my sisters and relatives and some college/uni friends... that wasnt enough to prepare me for women in the real world...... it came to me very late in the day, now look what situation im in.

i had friends but i kept my circle very small.... only let people in i could trust or that i had known for a long time... i still follow this rule and i never stop people giving the basic respect whenever i encounter them whoever they are, be it ar masjid or in public.

you need to interact with different people more, the more you interact the more you learn about people, their behaviours, their decisions and their varying characters, however you will never know whats in their heart. bottom line is you have to decide what their moral values are like.

trust me you'll need judgement skills when you come to marry or when you come to marry off somebody that is (part or full) your responsibility.

 

[Ahmed.]

always remember there are people in situations far worse than you or far worse than you could possibly imagine.

did you know the less you interact with people the poorer your character judgement of people is?... there is a definete correlation. i never really had many experience with girls outside my family, only my sisters and relatives and some college/uni friends... that wasnt enough to prepare me for women in the real world...... it came to me very late in the day, now look what situation im in.

i had friends but i kept my circle very small.... only let people in i could trust or that i had known for a long time... i still follow this rule and i never stop people giving the basic respect whenever i encounter them whoever they are, be it ar masjid or in public.

you need to interact with different people more, the more you interact the more you learn about people, their behaviours, their decisions and their varying characters, however you will never know whats in their heart. bottom line is you have to decide what their moral values are like.

trust me you'll need judgement skills when you come to marry or when you come to marry off somebody that is (part or full) your responsibility.

He knows himself brother and says it is unlikely he'll be able to mix... so there's no point putting pressure on him. Life will become more stressful for him if he is made to feel abnormal and guilty for being an introvert.....

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

I know "introvert" gets thrown around a lot but this is not some new thing that has happened to me. I'm nearing in my 40s and I can remember for most of my life that I have always wanted to be separate from other people, whether that be in school, on the playground, at work, in family gatherings, and so on. I always hated being forced to socialize with other people or go to certain gatherings. As I'm getting older, this worries me more because I understand Islam to be a religion that is all about family and being there for the community. This is a big problem for me as for most of my adult life, I have lived alone. I don't think this is something that I can change about myself but it is also something that I never learned to accept simply because it goes against the religion and in general, basically the social environment we live in. This creates a sense of stress and anxiety for me because I feel I'm doing something wrong, and maybe I am, but I don't know what to do about it other than living a false life for forcing myself to be around other people.

I'm an introvert as well and I know exactly how you feel. It doesn't sound like you necessarily have a problem with being introverted but more so that you fear that your introversion may impede on sunnah or religious practices that involve others/the ummah. In this case, you need to allow your religion to shape your character. You should visit the sick if you know someone is ill, or attend funerals and give your condolences. Even if you don't like being around people, you have to remember that you're not doing it for yourself. You have to find the strength and honor in doing it for the sake of Allah. Initiating your salaams and smiling for example is a very small thing which can have a great impact. No one is asking for full blown conversations here, but just acknowledging another person's presence can make them feel really happy. Where you lack in some aspects of socialization, you can make up for it in others.

In other cases, you can always find an alternative to mainstream socialization. For example, instead of taking someone out to dinner as a gesture of thanks (which involves physical presence and verbal communication), you can write a nice letter and send a gift. Don't isolate yourself to that point that you are unlikeable. As an introverted person, you should naturally have great listening skills and introspection to connect with others, eventually finding someone you can have a deeper level of connection with.