Looking down at others

[anonymous]

Asalamu alekom. Is it bad if you hate or look down at people who are incompetent or like have no potentials, having no credit or skills at hands. You think of them they are useless? Is that bad? I have always hated fat people rather i have sympathy for them. My cousin who is v dear to me have put on weight, i saw her recently i was shocked and i got so much upset and angry with her. She later said she has got some hormonal problems etc though she eats alot too, lazy and doesn’t do any workout. I have begged her for changing herself but i felt she is annoyed with it n i have stopped asking her directly. But since then i have been thinking that i loved her alot why i hated her? She is still same person. I feel so bad for many others whom i have been hating or looking down for many reasons. But is it not natural if a person is not competent and doesn’t take care of himself, you look down or hate them naturally? Is this a Sin? Or is this pride? But i have always got sympathies for them. I highly believe this is very wrong how i have been thinking bad about others. I am alarmed when i got to see my dear cousin and friend. JazakAllah

 

[*charisma*]

Walaikum Assalaam

It is not good to react the way you do. You can give people advice with compassion and love. We don't always know what the other person is going through so we have to be careful with our words and actions. It actually shows how incompetent you may be more than them. If your cousin has hormonal issues, then working out may not even help at all. She may not even eat as much as you but her body reacts to food differently. She may never be able to have children because of these issues and it is making her even more depressed to think about it which will not make anyone want to work out or do anything, yet you are putting her down and making her feel worse because you are judging her unfairly. Don't you think it would've been better if you had said, "Let's find out some natural remedies that may help? Maybe there's some foods you should avoid to make your condition better" or "Lets go for a walk together at the park." That would encourage her more instead of shocking reactions and negative judgements.

 

[Ahmed.]

:wa:

Looking down at others is indeed arrogance so you shouldn't do it. Always consider yourself as being lower than all other Muslims. And regarding non Muslims, whether we are better or they are better remains to be seen as it all depends what state we die in. What if they say shahada before their death and go to janna while we end up in jahunnum for our sins? So we should have humility regarding the non Muslims too.

One Scholar said, we can even consider non Muslims better than us in the sense that they are sinning in ignorance while we are knowingly sinning.

If a person commits a sin, then we hate the sin but not the sinner and always regard ourselves as the greater sinner imsad

If you was angry at your cousin out of love as you want the best for her, then that's ok.