lost friendships

[roohani.doctor]

everyone,

i've been really confused for a while and i dunno wut else to do but ask wut i should do...thing is my bestfriend and i used to be really close, everything was fine but thing is she is shia and im sunni, that NEVER EVER got in the way before, we'd talk about religion and discuss stuff and it was okay, but lately she's beeen really into the whole shia thing (she started hanging out with some shia friends), she says hurtful stuff bout the sunnis in front of me, she constantly curses khaliphs that sunnis follow....i tried to ignore and forget but its gotten to a point where i feel like i dont know her...

i know this tale is as old as time, and im not trying to offend anyone... i just wish we could still be friends despite our differnces...this girl knows me better than anyone, we've been thru so much together.... and all of a sudden....im lower class cuz im sunni? sumtimes when im there she'll try not to say anything but when im gone, she starts making fun of us sunnis....

i dunno wut to do, i dont want to lose the friendship, and yet sumtimes i feel so scared cuz i dont wanna be lured into being a shia....alhumdullillah my faith is strong but you never know right?

again, this is just me rambling and reminiscing bout friendships and i dont mean to offend anyone.... :-[

I've tried talking to her bout it, and while she acknowledges sumthings wrong with "us", she says it'll be okay....when we both know it wont...should i confront her again and tell her wuts in my heart? should i just let it be and let her go?

 

[BlissfullyJaded]

*Thread Approved*

Dang, that's horrible. It's painful when a friend changes soo drastically and you feel like you don't know them anymore, and especially when they're that one friend who understood you most. imsad When it comes to sectarian differences, and to the point when a "friend" becomes insulting, that's a big issue. There's a lack of respect from her, not just to you but to your core beliefs and to the people who are the most important figures in Islam, radiallahu anhum. Have you ever tried defending the Ahlus Sunnah and if so what she say? Maybe you need to just drift away from her and let go of her, and if she misses your friendship she'll call you. If not, may Allah replace her with somebody better...

 

[Z-Blade]

everyone,

i've been really confused for a while and i dunno wut else to do but ask wut i should do...thing is my bestfriend and i used to be really close, everything was fine but thing is she is shia and im sunni, that NEVER EVER got in the way before, we'd talk about religion and discuss stuff and it was okay, but lately she's beeen really into the whole shia thing (she started hanging out with some shia friends), she says hurtful stuff bout the sunnis in front of me, she constantly curses khaliphs that sunnis follow....i tried to ignore and forget but its gotten to a point where i feel like i dont know her...

:wasalamex,

Such a friend is a kafir and an enemy of Islam. Either try to make her see sense or leave her. A part of our Aqidah is that we hate those who curse the Righteous companions (RA) and the Khulafah Rashidun were the best companions (RA) and had the highest rank. Abu Bakr (RA) was a Siddiq, he was only second after the Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) during the time of the Salaf.

As-Sahabah: The Companions


"93. We love the Companions of the Messenger of Allah but we do not go to excess in our love for any one individual among them nor do we disown any one of them. We hate anyone who hates them or does not speak well of them and we only speak well of them. Love of them is a part of Islam, part of belief and part of excellent behaviour, while hatred of them is unbelief, hypocrisy and rebelliousness."

http://www.ummah.net/Al_adaab/tahawi.html#sahabah

Wassalam.

 

[roohani.doctor]

i've tried talking and explaining to her but she just wont get it, her belief that she is right and i am wrong is carved in her heart, she wont hear anything... and she keeps cursing or just saying stuff bout Umar/Abu Bakr and even Ayesha (RA)... ive tried so many times to explain but she keeps on saying I'm the one whoz got it all wrong...her argument is that you are supposed to love ahlulbayt with all of your heart, i tell her of course we love Ali (RA) and Fatima and the prophet's family (how and why shouldn't we).... she says noone had the right to take the prophets place after he passed, only Ali had the right and Umar and Abu Bakr (RA) fought with Ali (RA) and took his place... also she calls 'Ya Zaynab' or 'Ya Ali' when they need help, once i told her why didn't she just say 'Ya Allah' and as Allah is the greatest...

but *sigh* i dunno... the thing that really scares me is sometimes i wonder whoz right and whoz wrong? i dunno... i know they dont make much sense, but they think the same of us sunnis.... that we are the ones not seeing sense yakno?

we arent even "friends" anymore.. i guess ive got to accept that but please remember her in all your duas and pray she sees the right way...this person was like a sister to me...

jazakallah khairan

 

[siham]

tell her what U feel and if she is a real friend she will apolegize 4 what she said and if she doesn't let her go,, you diserv a better friend that doesn't say such things. I'm sunni and my best friend is shia 2 , we know eachother for 10 years, when we where 16 I had the same problem, I told what I felt wile I was crying and she apoligized imidiatly and cryed with me,, what I'm trying 2 say is be open with her and if she's a real best friend she will regret and hug you with tears.


ma3a salaam

xxx siham

 

[Ali.]

Does she still consider you as her friend?

If so, tell her that if she really is your friend, then she'll respect you.

I hate all this division... we are all Muslim full stop.

If she is treating you as if you are completely astray then show her this:

Verily, those who divide their religion and break up into sects (all kinds of religious sects), you (o muhammad SAW) have no concern in them in the least. Their affair is only with Allah, Who then will tell them what they used to do.
{6:159}