Love after Marriage Possible?

[Ainayat]

Assalaam alikum my dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam.​

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I need your advise in this, especially from the married ones as they will be having some experience.
I was engaged, but some issues came up,and engagement broke up alhamdulillah. I went for Umrah with my parents after that, and when I was infront of the Holy Kaaba, I suplicated to Allah to grant me a good husband,and who ever will come first, I will know it's from Allah and I will accept him. 2 Months after the Umrah I recieved a proposal from my cousin, and accepted.He is a very good brother, character wise, and religion wise mashallah he is good. I accepted his proposal because I had no reason to say no, he is good in deen and character mashallah. and I did pray istikharah several times and my heart was at peace.

My question is, I dont feel any love towards him, there is no attraction(I just see him as a cousin) and I dont have the excitement of getting married like other girls have. Is this normal? will I start loving him after marriage? I like him as person, he is a good person. I keep praying to Allah to create some love in my heart so I can love him.We try not to communicate unless necessarry, he stays in another country and I havent met him for the past 10 years.
Please advise, May Allah Bless you all.

Ainayat
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[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
how well do you know him? if you haven't spoken to him much, then there wont be instant attraction. there needs to be a reason why this attraction will come about, such as talking with him, etc...until then your feelings will be dormant.

love isn't an essential or a prerequisite for marriage. merely living with someone will cause that to come about. i would say (with a mahram present) get to know him a little/talk with him if you feel it to be necessary...or do some backgrounds checks to get more of an idea what type of person he is....

having said that, piety is sometimes the only medium some people need to be attracted to someone...(and no not talking from experience).

 

[Lonely Gal]

Salaam Sister,

Talking from experience, I believe it will grow - I accepted a marriage proposal to make my parents happy (i Know this was the wrong way to go about things but it was too late) anyways I felt NO attraction whatso ever towards him and we were on totally different wave lenghts. He wasnt a bad person, he helped people and had a pretty good character. BUT because I had no attraction I found it very hard to talk to him and this created a whirlwind of issues between us, I have to say luckily for me he persevered will trying to make things work between us. There was alot more stuff going on but that is irrelevant to the topic. Cutting it short, I realised after he did Itikaaf I needed to put my all into this as it was a marriage after all, its not a joke and should not be taken lightly. We Alhumdohlillah are getting on really well and his good nature and habits make me attracted tp him and have created a connection between us - so yes it can happen. All the best for u, may Allah swt bless u both.

Ameen

 

[Cabdullahi]

Soaps...bollywood...hollywood = ''marriage should be explosive''..''it should be exciting and exhilarating''...''you must be fully and crazily attracted to him''...''he must drive you wild''...''you should be completely infatuated.''

^ the above is unnatural and when you get accustomed to the unnatural...the natural will have no effect on you...it becomes ineffectual....it cannot produce the desired effect

''It may be that you detest something which is good for you; while perhaps you love something even though it is bad for you. God knows, while you do not know."2:216