love breaks in tears - advice?

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:sl:

Any advice for someone who has found out there man has cheated behind there back and is married but is in a bad condition and don't know what to do?. Many love breaks up in tears along with a big gap, yet we can't find WHY the person does this over and over again. The girl loves the man soo much as she has known him since childhood and now realise's she's stuck with help. It's really hard to stand up being hurt with your OWN man!

Any dua's for marriage broken apart or being hurt many times?
It would also be much appreciated if you all can keep her in your dua's.
 
anonymous said:
:sl:

Any advice for someone who has found out there man has cheated behind there back and is married but is in a bad condition and don't know what to do?. Many love breaks up in tears along with a big gap, yet we can't find WHY the person does this over and over again. The girl loves the man soo much as she has known him since childhood and now realise's she's stuck with help. It's really hard to stand up being hurt with your OWN man!

Any dua's for marriage broken apart or being hurt many times?
It would also be much appreciated if you all can keep her in your dua's.
Click to expand...


i wanted to answer this anonymously because there are things i don't think the forum needs to know about my life. i, too, have known my husband since childhood and i know he has slept with girls outside our marriage many times in the past. it is a very painful experience... but i confronted him when it happened and tried very hard to forgive him and draw out the reasons for it. it is very important for her (if she wishes to keep her marriage) to keep talking to each other, that is so difficult because it means talking about things that are very hurtful to her, without seeming too angry with him too suddenly otherwise he will stop talking to her. the only person that can answer the question of why is him...

goodluck!
 
Alpha Dude said:
:w:

I'm sorry for you sis, may Allah make things easy for you, ameen! It's a difficult situation to be in, I'm sorry I don't have any good advice, but I hope the following duas will help you:

Supplication for anxiety and sorrow:

034116-1.gif


034117-1.gif


Also, read this dua:

Rabbana Hablana min Ladunka Rahmatan wa hayyi’ Lana min Amrina Rashada [verse 10 of Surah Kahf]...it's what the youths in the cave asked Allah. The meaning is:

“Our Lord, give us mercy from [SIZE=-1]Thyself, and dispose of our affair for us in the right manner"...[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]I really like this dua, it's as though when you pray it with sincerity, you're surrendering all your problems to Allah and letting him take care of you. I hope things get better for you, inshaAllah! May Allah guide your husband to treat you well always, ameen![/SIZE]
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Thanks for that!. The girl loves the man to bits and can not get over him but stuck in middle on what to do. It's hard for a love one to leave because this love was not a joke to her, it was deep love. But now it's all changed and it is not the first time it's actually enough times happning to her. The girl has got a big heart by keep and forgiving him but it's a shame she can not leave the guy!
 
:salamext:

Love is blind...blind to looks, differences and even disloyalty, as long as the heart is still intact the love isnt ever going to leave you. Its a killer I tells ya! :D lol

But, on a more serious note...I think we all know it isnt easy letting go of somebody that readily, no matter what that person has done to betray your trust, one always tends to forgive without a thought of them going back to their old ways. Is frightening that she might not leave him until he hurts her well and truley and she finds that she is not capable of loving somebody else.

Everybody is special in their own way and deserves to be treated that way...she needs somebody who will love and respect her and not have his eyes set on the next girl. she needs to realise that there can be no compromise in such an important relationship. She needs to put herself first and ask herself...'Dont i deserve more?'

...and I think she'll find that the answer is yes :)

With regards to Du'aas etc...I think brother Alpha Dude gave a good one, I dont have and cant think of any more. Sorry. take care :w:
 
*sigh* it always has to be in some relations that, either one person in the relation that has a good heart which the other one kinda uses to their advantage.

Alpha bhai, jazakallah khayr for that dua :thumbs_up. i know alot of people who can benefit from it. imsad

May everything go for the best for everyone in such situations. Ameen.

i really dont have much else too add. sorry.
 
AnonymousGender said:
i wanted to answer this anonymously because there are things i don't think the forum needs to know about my life. i, too, have known my husband since childhood and i know he has slept with girls outside our marriage many times in the past. it is a very painful experience... but i confronted him when it happened and tried very hard to forgive him and draw out the reasons for it. it is very important for her (if she wishes to keep her marriage) to keep talking to each other, that is so difficult because it means talking about things that are very hurtful to her, without seeming too angry with him too suddenly otherwise he will stop talking to her. the only person that can answer the question of why is him...

goodluck!
Click to expand...

Thats the same issue with the 'Girl' she seems very kind and keeps on forgiving him but then she's confused and doesn't have a clue what to do. She has been pregnant with him 3times but has misscarriges but now is confused on what to do. Either have a divorce or not. :cry:
 
JihadunNafs said:
:salamext:

Love is blind...blind to looks, differences and even disloyalty, as long as the heart is still intact the love isnt ever going to leave you. Its a killer I tells ya! :D lol

But, on a more serious note...I think we all know it isnt easy letting go of somebody that readily, no matter what that person has done to betray your trust, one always tends to forgive without a thought of them going back to their old ways. Is frightening that she might not leave him until he hurts her well and truley and she finds that she is not capable of loving somebody else.

Everybody is special in their own way and deserves to be treated that way...she needs somebody who will love and respect her and not have his eyes set on the next girl. she needs to realise that there can be no compromise in such an important relationship. She needs to put herself first and ask herself...'Dont i deserve more?'

...and I think she'll find that the answer is yes :)

With regards to Du'aas etc...I think brother Alpha Dude gave a good one, I dont have and cant think of any more. Sorry. take care :w:
Click to expand...

Thanks for this!, It's hard and the 'Girl' is confused on what to do.
Dua's will be good.
 
sapphire said:
*sigh* it always has to be in some relations that, either one person in the relation that has a good heart which the other one kinda uses to their advantage.

Alpha bhai, jazakallah khayr for that dua :thumbs_up. i know alot of people who can benefit from it. imsad

May everything go for the best for everyone in such situations. Ameen.

i really dont have much else too add. sorry.
Click to expand...

She was in deep love so it's hard to loose her love, because it's a dream for her. She's known him since childhood and now everything is turning upside down!
 
anonymous said:
She was in deep love so it's hard to loose her love, because it's a dream for her. She's known him since childhood and now everything is turning upside down!
Click to expand...

get rid inshaallah, he doesnt respect or love her as he wouldnt hurt her!. there may be some one better out there for her inshaallah, it will be hard at first however remember allah never places a burden on you more than which you can carry!.
 
Salamualikum.

Ignoring fone calls thats a BOMB!!!

Live with it!!!... it's hard to find the right man... love is hard to grasp!!

Ma'assalama
 
Asalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu,

May Allah grant her patience. Ameen.

May Allah grant her Janat-ul-Firdos. Ameen.

May Allah do what is best for her. Ameen.

May Allah give the guy hadayah. Ameen.

"And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allâh knows but you do not know." 2:216
​
 
Salaam alaykum sister,

Firstly, keep in mind that it's not you, it's him. There's nothing wrong with you, insha'Allah, but there is something wrong with a man who pursues what he wants in the manner he has done. Your heart was and is tied to his, and I bet you'll find this strange, but I don't think that his heart is any less tied to yours as before, but I know a lot of men need more women simply to feel more like men, especially the physical aspect of the relationship. Perhaps he feels insecure about his masculinity and is trying to find it through these channels? Allah knows best.

You have some difficult decisions ahead of you, and I can tell you, the best One to turn to for advice is Allah subhaana wa ta'aala. So pray istikhaara, if you haven't already, and ask Him what you should be doing.

After this, get advice from various people, and try to get a sense of where the advice is heading, and then try to act on it.
 

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