YM Usrah Umar
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boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, people say "oh we are in love" but is it really love or is it lust? what does islam say about this?
Love or Lust?
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Darth Ultor
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It has to be more specific. It really depends on what goes on in the relationship. If it's just physical, then it's lust. If it is growing to understand each other, to like each other for who they are despite any negatives, to be friends first and girlfriend/boyfriend second, then it's love.
I think that love takes a very long time to form... true love that is, that can only be brought about from the bounds of marriage. I say this from my past experiences. I am a convert, so yes I have had relationships in the past (astagfirllah), but really, they were based more upon lust than true love. The "love" that one feels when first in a relationship, puppy love, like some people call it, is much different than the love you build with your life partner. That takes time. There are plenty of people that argue that marrying someone without love, and growing to love them have much better marriages than ones based upon "love" from the beginning.
YM Usrah Umar
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i lik this answer
Ali_008
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Love develops over time, lust pops up in an instant.
This is the reason why dating fails because it initially is lust and people believing it to be love and fall. Love is knowing the other person and identifying within yourself that his/her style of executing matters appeals to you and so you wish to be with him/her.
to define love exactly is bit difficult..but one understand it from examples, like mother and child love, Suhaba RA loves Prophet PBUH and allah swt says in quran that momin also love allah swt deeply. so i think love is to like someone but with no expectation and needs.
lust is where u like someone but bcz of ur needs (maybe sexual), expectations etc..
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Two people can develop a strong attraction for one another for a multitude of reasons, to different degrees of intensity, and in real life these attractions do not reflect the idealistic presentations that are found in fairy tales.
In real life attraction has nothing to do with the word "love". People feel very strong feelings for material things; i.e. cars, shoes, songs etc. But often these feelings change as the culture changes. That does not mean that the material things were not "loved". They just were not "loved" in terms of the romantic, commercial concepts that are fed to us.
Males and females experience a natural attraction towards one another; "lust". But there is often an additional component of attraction due to the attractive character of each and every one of Allah's creations.
The Quran is here to teach us wisdom so that we can be able to understand the significance and importance of our spiritual nature. To give us the capacity to step above the "lust" components of our attractions, and to enable us to understand and appreciate the benefits of the spiritual side.
So to clarify, yes, bf and gf relationships often times involve a strong "character" attraction in addition to "lust". But a person can be "attracted" to somebody who cheats on them and abuses them. And people who are wise are able to not only identify the persons that will relate to them in a beneficial way, but wise people are also in the position to return the favor.
"Love" is simply an abstract word.
The main thing to keep in mind is that it is possible to feel strong feelings towards all of Allah's creations, because we are all miraculous.
"...Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust..." Quran 4:24.
Love is an abstract word. In our contemporary culture the word "love" is highly romanticized and commercialized, but, realistically, the common conceptions that we are programmed to associate with the word, mostly exist in fantasy.
Two people can develop a strong attraction for one another for a multitude of reasons, to different degrees of intensity, and in real life these attractions do not reflect the idealistic presentations that are found in fairy tales.
In real life attraction has nothing to do with the word "love". People feel very strong feelings for material things; i.e. cars, shoes, songs etc. But often these feelings change as the culture changes. That does not mean that the material things were not "loved". They just were not "loved" in terms of the romantic, commercial concepts that are fed to us.
Males and females experience a natural attraction towards one another; "lust". But there is often an additional component of attraction due to the attractive character of each and every one of Allah's creations.
The Quran is here to teach us wisdom so that we can be able to understand the significance and importance of our spiritual nature. To give us the capacity to step above the "lust" components of our attractions, and to enable us to understand and appreciate the benefits of the spiritual side.
So to clarify, yes, bf and gf relationships often times involve a strong "character" attraction in addition to "lust". But a person can be "attracted" to somebody who cheats on them and abuses them. And people who are wise are able to not only identify the persons that will relate to them in a beneficial way, but wise people are also in the position to return the favor.
"Love" is simply an abstract word.
The main thing to keep in mind is that it is possible to feel strong feelings towards all of Allah's creations, because we are all miraculous.
"...Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust..." Quran 4:24.
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