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Thread: Marriage
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asad1

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One day I would like to get married to a Muslim girl of my choice. However, my parents completely disagree with this, and think they should choose my wife. Whilst I understand forced marriages aren't allowed in Islam, I find it really annoying that my parents won't just let me marry a Muslim girl, not just a Muslim girl from Pakistan, but a specific Muslim girl from our 'caste'. I really don't know what to do....
 
tell them, you want to marry a girl of your choice, or you dont marry @ all

i thought quite a lot of people "modernised" away from this concept of only marry in caste lol, but subhanAllah!

seriously bro, if you wana marry someone of your choice, you gotta stick up for yourself, or be prepared for someone from back home, who is most likely gettin married to you, so she can have contacts in the UK, and in the nex 5 years all her bros will be over here, drivin taxis, lol

:muddlehea i hope this dont turn into a marriage discussion pssssh
 
chacha_jalebi said:
tell them, you want to marry a girl of your choice, or you dont marry @ all

i thought quite a lot of people "modernised" away from this concept of only marry in caste lol, but subhanAllah!

seriously bro, if you wana marry someone of your choice, you gotta stick up for yourself, or be prepared for someone from back home, who is most likely gettin married to you, so she can have contacts in the UK, and in the nex 5 years all her bros will be over here, drivin taxis, lol

:muddlehea i hope this dont turn into a marriage discussion pssssh
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haha lol yes your right and I've tried that, they still don't agree, its just the stupid culture they have and completely disagree with the concept. Also, most of our cousins and family are such that if I married from an 'outside' caste they would start talking and think bad....
 
:sl:

the first thing you should do is tell your parents what your feelings are. They may not realise or agree with you at first, but drive home the fact that this caste system and marrying just for race has no place in islam. Show them examples from Muhammed :arabic5: and the sahabahs who married out of their tribes and races.
If you are really set against people they choose thendo not back down from your stance. Yes they are your parents but its your life and theres no point marrying someone you dont want to and then ruining both yours and her life.
and Allah knows best
 
amani said:
:sl:

the first thing you should do is tell your parents what your feelings are. They may not realise or agree with you at first, but drive home the fact that this caste system and marrying just for race has no place in islam. Show them examples from Muhammed :arabic5: and the sahabahs who married out of their tribes and races.
If you are really set against people they choose thendo not back down from your stance. Yes they are your parents but its your life and theres no point marrying someone you dont want to and then ruining both yours and her life.
and Allah knows best
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Thank you for that, I will try to speak with them. It just does annoy me how it's not just them though, its like the whole of our family and cousins who think like this.....
 
I don't know why are you 100% against to marry with someone chose by your parents :? They raised you, they know your chracter very well, they sent you to have an education, they didn't ruined your life until now.
 
could you try gettin to know the girl ur parents want u to marry and see how it goes, and compromise saying if you don't connect then you can marry your choice..
I know parents want best for their children but you have to get on with the person.. 2 peoples personalities may be fine but together they can have problems..
Think about it properly before you go ahead with it..
 
I don't know why are you 100% against to marry with someone chose by your parents :? They raised you, they know your chracter very well, they sent you to have an education, they didn't ruined your life until now.
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Agree!
Good thing about your family is that they have not totally cut off from their base - Pakistan. They can go well with a girl of their choice. you will have to trust them.

Another thing grils from above origion are better wives, they are more sensitive about their husbands, homes and families than their ownselves. You will feel more blessed when you have such life partner.

wish you are happy at the either end!
 
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reason
reason
reason
reason and reason some more

and if all reasoning fails, then be patient and seek reward from Allaah.


Assalamu Alaikum
 
- Serene - said:
:salamext:

^ Not really, I've seen some Pakistani girls from back home that are total b****es...

If the brother wants to marry someone that is a Muslim but not Pakistani, and is religious, I really don't see a problem with that. Even if your parents have raised you, that doesn't give them a right to force you into marriage.
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ok, yes I agree with you, I'm not very very religious but I still am a Muslim. Yes, my parents are quite traditional but I don't see why it has to be a girl from our 'caste' who's origins are from Pakistan. I don't know how i can change their mind
 
- Serene - said:
:salamext:

Maybe that they don't pray 5 times a day? Wallaahu Aalim.
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inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raajiun


they might aswell call themselves borderline hypocrites or disbelievers if thats the case.

i know i would... i have




may Allaah keep us steadfast!


QUL amantubillaah! sum mustaqim....
say i believe in Allaah and stay steadfast...
 
:salamext:

^ That's the case of some youngsters nowadays...but khayr inshaaAllaah, I didn't say it was asad1's case...
 
Tania said:
I don't know why are you 100% against to marry with someone chose by your parents :? They raised you, they know your chracter very well, they sent you to have an education, they didn't ruined your life until now.
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:sl:

I disagree... while it is safe to assume parents want what is best for their children, their criteria for good isn't always the same as their children's.
 
Firstly, do Men require the consent of the parents when getting married in Islam? if not I don't see why you cannot legally marry a woman of your choice
 
tru its not easy to jus get up and make the decision that your going to do what u want and not listen to parents because that don't lead to happinesss either. My brother did this and now altho he comes down often, the parent and son relationship is somewhat shattered..
its really hard, there's no win situation when parents are like that.
very difficult and u can understand both sides..
 
asad1 said:
I find it really annoying that my parents won't just let me marry a Muslim girl, not just a Muslim girl from Pakistan, but a specific Muslim girl from our 'caste'. I really don't know what to do....
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It's clear asad1 wants to get married to a specific Muslim girl, from Pakistan who is also a member of his 'caste. If he can get his parent's to agree on this specific girl he can prevent straining their son-parent relationship.
 
Lonely Gal said:
the parent and son relationship is somewhat shattered..
its really hard, there's no win situation when parents are like that.
very difficult and u can understand both sides..
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in this case it definitly would have been better to marry who the parents chosen as long as they keep looking for someone your pleased with...

end of the day its them looking

why shatter parents hearts over a girl? seriously...



people need to fix up priorities..