Marriage

[IbnAbdulHakim]

but what happens if they don't get on,,, that too will break the parents hearts..

both are a different kind of "heart breaks"

one is where the parent is disobeyed and that makes the parents UPSET wiv the child and possibly a curse may afflict the child from the hearts of the parents even if the parents dont want it. If my mum was unhappy wiv me, and i walked out of my door.. i would fear the worst... seriously! theres a hadith stating that if your parents are happy then the doors of jannah are open, if they are unhappy then the doors of jahannam are open... subhanAllaah!


the second type of "heart break" is that the parents feel sad for the child, they make dua that he gets better, and from this dua due to the childs patience and obedience... Allah might givve him the BEST wife in dunya after... and the better one in the hereafter

parents should be reasoned with and reasoned with but ultimately obeyed. they shouldnt be outright rejected... thats disgusting...

subhanAllaah seriously, if only we realised that all good comes from obedience to Allaah and staying steadfast.


i know its hard to stay steadfast but the reward is soooo great!

i mean you cant get a degree wivout grilling your head... so u gotta suffer thru dunya for reward too...

 

[Tania]

You know your parents, you should know how you could talk with them to convince them about your position. I always got from my parents what i wanted. :-[ But conversation is everything.

 

[Umar001]

Stop complaining and moaning that you have Muslim parents! There's greater things in life than marriage! Marriage is something you work at, it does not always matter whether the girl is pakistani, afghanistani or bradistani.

Just give it a try, speak to them, sit down, tell them how much you care for them, soften their hearts, tell them about the difficulty you face, why you worry, then tell them that insha'Allah, since Allah has made them very important to you, you will try and make them happy and try marry someone they choose. But at the same time that you have to find the girl attractive, otherwise shaytan will get to you.

Have meetings, see how it goes, I know alot of brothers who would be amazingly happy with a Pakistani or any other sister! Just make sure she is practicing and not cultural.

As sad as it may be, it seems that alot of the elders have ideas which are alien to Islam, what is more sad is that it seems we cannot change those ideas in many of them, no matter how much we reason. So, let's focus on the major issues, make sure they don't commit shirk, buy omens/talesmens, as some brothers from Asian tell me happens out there, and insha'Allah we'll all be in Jannah, well at least you and your family, some brother's families are fully Kuffar, and you're here worried about marriage.

Work on changing the big things, forget and not whether you'll get a 'sexy' model type wife, instead of a villager wife who only knows how to plough.