Married Life

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Wingfoot

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Asalamu alaikum.

I wish to seek some advice from fellow brothers and sisters here. I have been married for about 18 months now.
My wife seeks ‘nafka’ money from me monthly. Can I know what exactly is this money thatI have to provide her on top of the living expense’s of which 80% is paid by me?

I live in a country where cost of living is one of the highest in the world. I still give her the fixed amount of money she asks. On top of all these, I fetch her from work every single day. The house that we bought together is also paid 80% by me. I just feel I am paying for her to live with me in this married life. We do not have any children yet AND this behaviour of hers had made me have doubts of having children with her. This is purely due to financial commitments. She does not cook, wash my clothes or spend anything on me except food. I have never asked for her money for anything. She forces me to buy her expensive things for her birthday and such.
 
I forgot to mention that she does work but her income is very low. I understand I have no rights over her money but can she demand such nafka money from me?
 
:salam:

:bism:

It is better to ask about yourself your and her parents and local mufti and family advisor.

My basic opinion below. Allah knows best.

It is the ordinary money for her expenses and maybe for common like food, furniture etc.

She has her expenses and she is maybe shy to ask for everything, like excuse mr if it is inconvinient bedroom clothing, cosmetics etc.

You give her the fixed amount and you do not want anymore?

She works also and does not do the homework, that you do?

Please ask her to share the work on a fair basis.

If she earns and does not wont to help home, then you are probably a lot less obliged.

I advise you to be calm and talk about everything with respect, humour and love, with her and others.

Divorce is probably the worst.

I would advise you to get a second job at home. Study further and be a freelancer insha Allah. Get new courses, certificates, diplomas for a higher first salary/advancement.

Also know that woman test men. You must have your balanced fair opinion and be dometimes assertive.

Go visit both gym and library regularly.

Buy her books.

Maybe the most important in your cases is do you practice deen?

Some duas below:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...YQFnoECAMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3LGDWGpCOFI_mljNrB7awe


And

https://archive.org/details/MominKaHathyarEnglishByShaykhMuhammadYunusPalanpuri

And


https://www.muslim.sg/articles/10-powerful-duas-and-prayers-for-travelling


I noticed it would be maybe good to share with you a somehow basic dhikr routine (as I know, the numbers are like basic, entry (not that you right away say right now it is impossible) and Allah knows best!). To whom it is hard, then 100x insha Allah and ask Allah Al Wahhab to give you more rewards out of His mercy.

1000x estagfirullahe lil mominina wal mominat,
Rabbi gfir warham wa anta khayru rahemeen
100x Allahumma innaka afuffun tuhibbul afwa faafu anni
1000x Subhanallahi walhamdulillahi wa la ilahe illallahu wallahu akvar wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyyil adheem
Estagfirullah al Adheem alladhii la ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyuumu wa atububu ilayh
1000x Shukrulillah
2000x Salawat ibrahimi
500x Hasbunallahu wa niamal wakiil niamal mawala wa niamannaseer
100x Hasbunallah rabbunallah
Asma ul husna like Ya Allahu Ya Hafeezu Ya Raqeebu Ya Mania Ya Momin Ya Muhaymen 500x and Ya Hayyu ya Qayyuumu 1000x Ya Wadudu Ya Raufu Ya Rahman Ya Raheem and other asma as much as you can.
Recite daily 1000x surah ikhlas with bismillahirrahmanirraheem

Please share with others. It will be recorded to you too if they read, without lowering their reward insha Allah.

You will notice effects insha Allah after some time (insha Allah, you'll get into superbarakah and augmented, blessed state), but we must do it as ibadah, not like audhubillah experiment if someone gets it on mind, and in the akhirah are the best treasures.

If you can, read even more salawat ibrahimi, above 5000x daily and you will get insha Allah a lot more benefits.
You of course do dhikr, duas and other ibadah like nawafil fasting as ibadah, out of joy and shukr, not because of reward.
Some maybe love 6 hours daily nawafil, but maybe after some 2 milion of the dhikr above, maybe to leave the basic numbers and focus more into reading, studying, community work, altruism etc. Do not neglect dunya work and studies please.

:salam:
 
Last edited:
Murid said:
:salam:

:bism:

It is better to ask about yourself your and her parents and local mufti and family advisor.

My basic opinion below. Allah knows best.

It is the ordinary money for her expenses and maybe for common like food, furniture etc.

She has her expenses and she is maybe shy to ask for everything, like excuse mr if it is inconvinient bedroom clothing, cosmetics etc.

You give her the fixed amount and you do not want anymore?

She works also and does not do the homework, that you do?

Please ask her to share the work on a fair basis.

If she earns and does not wont to help home, then you are probably a lot less obliged.

I advise you to be calm and talk about everything with respect, humour and love, with her and others.

Divorce is probably the worst.

I would advise you to get a second job at home. Study further and be a freelancer insha Allah. Get new courses, certificates, diplomas for a higher first salary/advancement.

Also know that woman test men. You must have your balanced fair opinion and be dometimes assertive.

Go visit both gym and library regularly.

Buy her books.

Maybe the most important in your cases is do you practice deen?

Some duas below:

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sou...YQFnoECAMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3LGDWGpCOFI_mljNrB7awe


And

https://archive.org/details/MominKaHathyarEnglishByShaykhMuhammadYunusPalanpuri

And


https://www.muslim.sg/articles/10-powerful-duas-and-prayers-for-travelling


I noticed it would be maybe good to share with you a somehow basic dhikr routine (as I know, the numbers are like basic, entry (not that you right away say right now it is impossible) and Allah knows best!). To whom it is hard, then 100x insha Allah and ask Allah Al Wahhab to give you more rewards out of His mercy.

1000x estagfirullahe lil mominina wal mominat,
Rabbi gfir warham wa anta khayru rahemeen
100x Allahumma innaka afuffun tuhibbul afwa faafu anni
1000x Subhanallahi walhamdulillahi wa la ilahe illallahu wallahu akvar wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyyil adheem
Estagfirullah al Adheem alladhii la ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyuumu wa atububu ilayh
1000x Shukrulillah
2000x Salawat ibrahimi
500x Hasbunallahu wa niamal wakiil niamal mawala wa niamannaseer
100x Hasbunallah rabbunallah
Asma ul husna like Ya Allahu Ya Hafeezu Ya Raqeebu Ya Mania Ya Momin Ya Muhaymen 500x and Ya Hayyu ya Qayyuumu 1000x Ya Wadudu Ya Raufu Ya Rahman Ya Raheem and other asma as much as you can.
Recite daily 1000x surah ikhlas with bismillahirrahmanirraheem

Please share with others. It will be recorded to you too if they read, without lowering their reward insha Allah.

You will notice effects insha Allah after some time (insha Allah, you'll get into superbarakah and augmented, blessed state), but we must do it as ibadah, not like audhubillah experiment if someone gets it on mind, and in the akhirah are the best treasures.

If you can, read even more salawat ibrahimi, above 5000x daily and you will get insha Allah a lot more benefits.
You of course do dhikr, duas and other ibadah like nawafil fasting as ibadah, out of joy and shukr, not because of reward.
Some maybe love 6 hours daily nawafil, but maybe after some 2 milion of the dhikr above, maybe to leave the basic numbers and focus more into reading, studying, community work, altruism etc. Do not neglect dunya work and studies please.

:salam:
Click to expand...

Ugh? Thats 2.5 hours of dhikr daily. Where did you even find those numbers???
And what does shukralillah even mean??? I never came across any hadith or ayah mentioning that???
 
:salam:

:bism:

I said in that paragraph that it is almost basic and wirid routine for many. Some read even 20 000 salawat daily.

With time you get insha Allah a lot barakah and above standard human abilities insha Allah.

You decide insha Allah. Many strive daily a lot more (which I can't endure or lack a lot time and barakah to do).

In addition, what I forgot is to add 1100 x Allah, Allah, Allah... dhikr

Regarding shukrulillah https://legacy.quran.com/2/172

https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/f...y-used-islamic-expressions-and-their-meanings
 
Murid said:
:salam:

:bism:

I said in that paragraph that it is almost basic and wirid routine for many. Some read even 20 000 salawat daily.

With time you get insha Allah a lot barakah and above standard human abilities insha Allah.

You decide insha Allah. Many strive daily a lot more (which I can't endure or lack a lot time and barakah to do).

In addition, what I forgot is to add 1100 x Allah, Allah, Allah... dhikr

Regarding shukrulillah https://legacy.quran.com/2/172

https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/f...y-used-islamic-expressions-and-their-meanings
Click to expand...

Ohhh i get it you are one of those
 

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