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Thread: Marrying a girl whom i like
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mudassara

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Assalam-o-aliakum
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My problem is:
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I like a girl and she is also use to love me. We were in relation for more than a year.
Then I approached my parents and told I know one girl (Just as a friend didn’t told the entire truth).
Then somehow I convinced my parents and ask to approach girls family.
Then they approached and girl’s family also give a positive response.
Then whole our family went and saw her both the families like each other.
But after that someone told girl’s Mother that my family doesn’t like the girl and they simply agreed as I forced my family.
Now the girl family is not ready for marriage with me and the girl is also not helping me in any matter. The girl is also not helping me now.
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I know it’s a sin to having relationship with girl before marriage. Now we have stopped meeting, talking everything. Asking allha (SWT) to forgive us every time.

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We did the istikhara before approaching our parents and got the positive answer.
I need to marry her desperately and convince their parents for the marriage.


Please let me know any wazeefa or dua and some guidelines to
Convince their parents and how to do it.
 
:sl: Maybe your parents can talk to the girl's parents and convince them that they do like her and them, and that whatever someone told them is not true. You can't just go round chanting wazeefas to solve matters. Sensible and practical solutions have to be applied where needed.

Secondly, doing istikhara is seeking guidance from Allah subhana wa ta 'ala. If you read the high-lighted part of the translation, note that the one making istikhara is asking Allah to turn that thing away from him if it is bad for him. The point of istikhara is not to seek a 'prompt reply', but to place the matter is Allah's hands. The answer lies in the turn of events themselves.



TRANSLATION: "O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

Is it wise to clear the air, and the best way to do that is for your parents to talk to the girl's parents. If after that, the situation remains unchanged, or worsens, then you have to accept that Allah has guided you away from something that is not good for you. What we like isn't necessarily right for us. Allah says in the Quran:


"It may be that you hate something when it is good for you, and it may be that you love something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know" (Surat al-Baqara, 216).




Therefore be patient with a beautiful patience. (Surat al-Ma'arij, 5)

Those who are steadfast and put their trust in their Lord. (Surat an-Nahl: 42)

"Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience. (Bukhari)


InshaAllah keep making dua with patience that Allah turns to you what is good for your deen, duniya and akhira and increases you in all that pleases Him and turns you away from all that displeases Him.


:wa:
 
Thank so much for the reply. Actually my parents tried clear the confusion they approached girls MOM 3 times, but no luck her MOM is not listening. Am very much tensed and heart is not listening only I tried a lot to come out but not able to.
Guide me any advice what to do next.
Please pray from me and our togetherness.
 
mudassara said:
Thank so much for the reply. Actually my parents tried clear the confusion they approached girls MOM 3 times, but no luck her MOM is not listening. Am very much tensed and heart is not listening only I tried a lot to come out but not able to.
Guide me any advice what to do next.
Please pray from me and our togetherness.
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, maybe this is the answer to your isthikhara that Allah has not meant for you to marry her and that is why things are not going your way. Just because you like a girl from a relationship does not mean that she is best for you in marriage. Whatever happens, happens for the best and if you have tried everything possible and it does not work out then know that it was not meant to be and that Allah has someone better for you. Look for someone pious and a girl who would NEVER even dream of having a relationship outside marriage.

You must sincerely repent and NEVER repeat such a relationship again or you will find misery and pain and you will not find peace or blessings in such pursuits. Accept the decree of Allah and make sincere dua to him asking him to do what is best for you and accept whatever happens after that. Leave it in the hands of Allah for you have done whatever you can and the rest is upto Allah.

and Allah knows best in all matters

and Allah knows best in all matters
 
:sl:
someone ought to advise her mother about acting on baseless suspicion and not listen to idiot people =(

in the same manner that her family's opinion about you went downhill (i.e through gossip) cant someone "gossip" about you but in a good way? so do the reverse?

what exactly was told to her mother? try getting someone else to speak to your mother other then your own parents? maybe someone from her own family?
 
Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb,
Thanks for the sportive words. I know I need to be strong and stone hearted its good for me only. But at times its very difficult to control.
Allaha know the best and whatever happens it’s for good.

Just guide me some dua which helps me come out of this soon so that i will have peace in my life.
 
Assalam-o-aliakum
My problem is
I like a girl and she is also use to love me. We were in relation for more than a year.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Then I approached my parents and told I know one girl (Just as a friend didn’t told the entire truth).[/SIZE][/FONT]
Then somehow I convinced my parents and ask to approach girls family.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Then they approached and girl’s family also give a positive response.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Then whole our family went and saw her both the families like each other.[/SIZE][/FONT]
But after that someone told girl’s Mother that my family doesn’t like the girl and they simply agreed as I forced my family.[/SIZE][/FONT]
Now the girl family is not ready for marriage with me and the girl is also not helping me in any matter. The girl is also not helping me now.[/SIZE][/FONT]
I know it’s a sin to having relationship with girl before marriage. Now we have stopped meeting, talking everything. Asking allha (SWT) to forgive us every time.

We did the istikhara before approaching our parents and got the positive answer.
I need to marry her desperately and convince their parents for the marriage.

Please let me know any wazeefa or dua and some guidelines to
Convince their parents and how to do it.
 
Assalamu-Alaikum-Wa-Rahmatullahi-Wa-Barakatuhu,

Dear brothers and sisters,

Finding very very difficult to come out of this…… I know no one can help me other than ALLAHA. I can request you all only one thing
please please remember me in your dua very bad condition. Dua is most strongest thing.

Regards,
Mudassar