Hi arentiya;
I am not Muslim or American, but I do have connections with mental health groups (non - professional) and have read through your survey questions with interest.
I have come into contact with two people who were in the process of committing suicide; and have met many others who have attempted more than once to end their lives. I have journeyed with some over months and years. Your survey might benefit by asking questions about anger, resentment and hate these are often due to a build up of injustice and unfairness over many years. Searching for ways to forgive; has been the key to preventing suicide twice, it has also been the road to hope for many suicidal people and self harmers that I have met. When you learn to let go of anger and forgive; you can then become the kind and caring person you want to be.
I have been a volunteer Street Pastor for thirteen years, we wonder the streets of our town often until 3 - 4 in the morning. We are there because we care, listen and we help when we can. When people are drunk and depressed they seem more open and less guarded about what they say; they seem to talk to anyone who listens and show empathy. I am amazed at the number of people who say, we helped them change their lives years ago. This highlights the need for closer family ties, the need for friendship and a good community spirit. Faith communities are so important in the way we support each other.
I have been helping out at a men's mental help group, their motto is, 'its not weak to speak'. It was started after a man's best friend of twenty years committed suicide. They had only spoken a couple of days before he ended his life; and he gave no indication of the invisible pain he was suffering. After his friend's death; he thought there are probably many more men suffering in the same invisible way so he started a support group. We meet in a group of about a dozen or so every week. Very simply, we give a mood score of between 1 and 10, and then explain why our score is what it is, then people will offer words of encouragement and support. There is a whatsapp group and the amount of support is staggering. A man might say at 10 pm that he is having a crisis, we can often have offers of support, personal phone calls and offers to meet up. Sadly with Covid we are resorting more to zoom meetings, but they do not have the same impact as face to face meetings.
I have seen men in tears when they talk for the first time in the group; but after they have been two or three times; they start supporting other men. When you offer support to someone else, it also helps you to heal yourself; so you can become the kind and caring person you want to be. None of the men in the group are professional counselors, although one of them has decided to study for qualifications. I almost think this self help group is more beneficial than going to a professional counselor. Not only because they feel kindness and support, but because they also have opportunities to show this same kindness and support to others. The group almost seems as if it is on an upward healing spiral of hope.
I find myself talking more openly about self harm, suicide and abuse when I meet people. I am staggered at the amount of people who have disclosed to me they have been raped; including four men who were children at the time. The stories are horrendous, you can't begin to understand how they are suffering; you can kind of understand their suicidal and dark thoughts. None of these people experienced true justice through our legal system.
On a negative note; I have been on a number of mental health and suicide courses. One was a zoom meeting conducted by specialists from all around the world. I found them to be too academic; and they did not approach solutions from a faith perception. They did not seem to relate very well with my encounters.
Learning to give thanks to God in both good times and even more so in bad times is a way towards healing. I am 71, and am profoundly optimistic in the way faith communities can be a source of healing. Having been on this forum for fifteen years, I can see the benefit of a Muslim specialising in offering mental health support to other Muslims.
May Allah bless you on your journey.
Eric
