Merits of Islam Regarding the Welfare of a Child Before and After his Birth
1- Choosing a good spouse is one of the child's rights before he is born. A woman must choose a husband known for being religious and enjoying good manners.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your female relative who is under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption.”
Also a man must choose a wife known for being religious and well mannered.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “This world is temporary pleasures and the best of the temporary pleasures of this world is a righteous wife.”
2- Parents are obliged to take all means and precautions which protect the child from Satan's mischief.
When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: (In the name of Allah, O Allah Keep us away from the Shaytaan(Satan), and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: If Allah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan; will never harm him.”
3- A mother must take good care of her health during pregnancy to guarantee her child good health, by eating nutritious food, and taking vitamin supplements, she must also be under medical supervision and not expose herself to anything which might endanger the baby's safety.
4- Islam permits the pregnant woman not to fast during the holy month of Ramadhan to ensure her baby's health, she must make up for those days later.
2:184. [Observing Saum (fasts)] for a fixed number of days, but if any of you is ill or on a journey, the same number (should be made up) from other days. And as for those who can fast with difficulty, (e.g. an old man, etc.), they have (a choice either to fast or) to feed a Miskîn (poor person) (for every day). But whoever does good of his own accord, it is better for him. And that you fast, it is better for you if only you know.
5- Islam postpones carrying out the penalty of adultery until after the baby is born and weaned.
6- Islam gives the fetus its legal share of the inheritance. The family waits until he is born to know if he is male or female, if he is one baby or more.
7- One of the rights is reciting through the newborn baby's ear the words of calling for the prayer, they includes the Word of Divine Unity, which is the testimony a person who embraces Islam has to say, and the last words a dying Muslim says, this makes a person start and end his life as a Muslim.
8- Tahnik; rubbing the newborn's gums with a finger covered with chewed or mashed dates or any sweet is a tradition of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Narrated Abu Musa: A son was born to me and I took him to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) who named him Ibrahim, did Tahnik for him with a date, invoked Allah to bless him and returned him to me. (The narrator added: That was Abu Musa's eldest son.)
9- Islam demands that one of the baby's rights is nursing from his mother for two years, because natural feeding is of great physical and moral benefits to the baby. Islam lays on the father the responsibility of providing for the mother during that time even if they were divorced.
2: 233. The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling, but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis. No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child. And on the (father's) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father). If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no sin on them. And if you decide on a foster suckling-mother for your children, there is no sin on you, provided you pay (the mother) what you agreed (to give her) on reasonable basis. And fear Allâh and know that Allâh is All-Seer of what you do.
10- Islam forbids a wife from concealing her pregnancy from her husband in case of divorce, this is to ensure the lineage and inheritance rights of the baby.
2: 228. And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allâh has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allâh and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allâh is All-Mighty, All-Wise.
11- Islam forbids adopting children in the sense of omitting the name of the biological father and replacing it with the adopted father's name, this is to guard the lineage and the rights of inheritance, and to avoid marriage problems in the future.
33: 5. Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allâh. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith and Mawâlîkum (your freed slaves). And there is no sin on you if you make a mistake therein, except in regard to what your hearts deliberately intend. And Allâh is Ever Oft*Forgiving, Most Merciful.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever calls himself by other than his father’s name (or attributes himself to someone other than his father), will be cursed by Allah, the angels and all the people)
12- Giving the baby a nice name is among his rights, since it has psychological and social affects on him in the future, also everyone will be called by his name along with his father's name on the Day of Judgment, so it better be good name.
It was narrated from Naafi’ that Ibn ‘Umar said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of your names to Allah are ‘Abd-Allah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.”
13- Slaughtering two sheep for a newborn baby boy and one sheep for a girl is a tradition.
It was mentioned in a hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah.”
14- It is favorable to shave off the newborn's hair on the seventh day and give the weight of the hair in silver as charity which is a way of helping the poor and social cooperation.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) slaughtered a sheep as the ‘aqeeqah for al-Hasan, and he said, “O Faatimah, shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver in charity.” So she weighed it and its weight was a dirham or part of a dirham.
15- A male newborn must be circumcised for health reasons.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The fitrah is five things, or five things are part of the fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hairs, plucking the armpit hairs, clipping the nails and trimming the moustache.”
16- The child’s rights with regard to education and upbringing:
Parents must take care of teaching their children the duties of Islam, and worldly matters. They should instill in them the attributes of a good man, such as love of sacrifice, putting others first, helping others, chivalry and generosity. They should keep them away from evil characteristics such as cowardice, stinginess, lack of chivalry, lack of ambition, etc.
31:17. "O my son! Aqim*is*Salât (perform As*Salât), enjoin (people) for Al*Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al*Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allâh, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily! These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allâh with no exemption.18. "And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allâh likes not each arrogant boaster.19. "And be moderate (or show no insolence) in your walking, and lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass."
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Teach the child to pray when he is seven years old, and smack him if he does not pray when he is ten.”
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of people is a shepherd and is responsible for them. The man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for them. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and child and is responsible for them. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.”
17- Parents must treat all their children in the same manner, they should not prefer one child to the others, because it will lead to the evil consequence of the children hating one another, and stoking the flames of hatred and enmity between them.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to the father of al-Nu’maan,“Would you like them to honour you equally?” He said, “Yes.” In other words, if you want them all to honour you equally, then be fair in giving gifts to them.
18- If it so happens that the parents separate, then the mother has a greater right to custody than the father, unless there is reason not to give priority to the mother, or an option of giving the child the choice in the matter. The reason why the mother is given priority is that she is the primary caregiver and is the one who breastfeeds the child; she is also better able to care for the child and take care of him. She has more patience than a man in this regard, and has more time than he does, so the mother is given priority in the best interests of the child.
It was reported from ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar that a woman said, “O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a container for this son of mine and my lap was a haven for him, and he drank from my breast, but his father is claiming that he should take him from me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “You have more right to him (to custody of him) so long as you do not remarry.”
19- Abortion and killing children is a great sin, which expose the doer to punishment in Hell-Fire. However, the case is studied if the mother's life is in jeopardy.
17:31. And kill not your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, the killing of them is a great sin.
60: 12. O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the Bai'â (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allâh, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands), and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'rûf (Islâmic Monotheism and all that which Islâm ordains) then accept their Bai'â (pledge), and ask Allâh to forgive them, Verily, Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.