Mixed Marriages...

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Probably a lame thread title but by that I mean intercultural marriages...

What do you think...Do you think the intolerance we see today....(When it comes to parents) will disappear over time?

Do you think that when it comes to us being parents, them prejudices will have vanished or do you think there is wisdom in sticking to your own culture/background etc and never experiencing the richness of another :mmokay:

Why do you think these prejudices exist...There is no nationalism or tribalism or racism in Islam...so why?? :enough!:

Have you personally married out of the culture and if yes did you face any difficulties/hardships/barriers?

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:salamext:

:wasalamex

What do you think...Do you think the intolerance we see today....(When it comes to parents) will disappear over time?

i dont see why not. i mean you just have to look at the past (maybe only as far as when your own parents got married) to see that alot of the cultural trends that your parents grew up with arent really there anymore...well as far as ive noticed anyway for eg the really pathetic one where the couple dont see each other until AFTER their married *shudders* lol and where the dude relies on what his sisters/mum think of the girl (her looks i mean) so if the girl is attractive to his mum/sisters, then apparently he'll like her too :rollseyes...aww isnt that lovely :skeleton:
btw, my parents didn't get married like that lol

Do you think that when it comes to us being parents, them prejudices will have vanished

depends on what the reason for wanting to marry in your culture..i mean i think some people are inclined to stick to marrying in their culture because they know what is expected of them/their other half etc...it makes it easier on the couple...which is reasonable...so if its reasons like that, than maybe not...
but if its weird things like worrying about reputation and by marrying into another culture is a shame on the family or something...i dno...maybe, maybe not...depends on you and how much you care what people think lol...

so yeah depends on the reason for wanted to stick to marriage in your own culture, would affect on how you deal with marrying off your own kiddies

Why do you think these prejudices exist...There is no nationalism or tribalism or racism in Islam...so why?? :enough!:

because people revolve their lives around what people think of them... reputation etc...well in my culture anyway
that and ignorance of islam...equals a disaster:X may allah guide us

 

[Snowflake]

What do you think...Do you think the intolerance we see today....(When it comes to parents) will disappear over time?

Yes most definitely. We can already see today's generation edging away from cultural traditions and educating themselves in islam. I will support my son in marrying someone from another culture as long as she is a good muslimah. I can confidently say the changes you mentioned are already happening today.

Do you think that when it comes to us being parents, them prejudices will have vanished or do you think there is wisdom in sticking to your own culture/background etc and never experiencing the richness of another

It certainly makes it a tad easier if the culture is the same and there is no language barrier to deal with. But having said that, it is not vital for a happy marriage or good relations of both families. My sis-in-law is bengali and although us brits speak english, her mother and my mum speak in urdu and those we cant speak to in either language, we speak the universal language of love and respect.. so our hearts understand each other . So all is good and our cultures arent that diff anyway.

Why do you think these prejudices exist...There is no nationalism or tribalism or racism in Islam...so why??

Birds of a feather flock together? I guess it's human nature. Islam teaches us to overcome these traits. But without it, isnt that something observed in human and animals? So, I put it down to basic instinct.

Have you personally married out of the culture and if yes did you face any difficulties/hardships/barriers?

Not me personally, but my maternal grandfather was a hindu revert who married my burmese grandma and had a fairly strong marriage until he passed away. In the early days of marriage, my grandma did face difficulties with language and culture and even with the traditional pakistan dress. But given the chance I doubt she'd want to change anything. I've never really asked. :X

I do love the fact that she is burmese, as she's ended up with the cutest punjabi accent ever! My dad's father also reverted from hinduism and married my pakistani grandmother. I guess that's one reason why I've never had an issue with mixed marriages. It runs in the family.



wa alaykum assalam

 

[Tony]

My wife is Turkish and I am white Englishman. We sometimes find difficulties in language barrier, ie we both say things that are taken out of context at times. We live in Bradford which has a high undercurrent of racial tension and as a result we have had to move from one address because of weak rascists. Even my own Mother has caused problems and been rascist. I have witnessed people ridicule my wifes accent at work (by other nurses !), all I ever witnessed from the Turkish community is respect and friendliness for us. It is sometimes very hard for my wife and therefore for me too, but Allah brought us together, since meeting her I have discovered and embraced Islam and have been blessed with two beautiful children. Our blessings put any rascism or tension in the shade and if all Allah is asking of me is to be a husband and father in the light of Islam, then I pray He gives me the strength to be a rock for them. I do not beleive that cultural difference is anything more than enriching in a relationship, Allah guides who He will. Peace

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ thats just lovely !



as for the question

course it'll dissappear (when everyone learns to speak english )


for real in the future if my kids wanted to marry someone who spoke a language i cant speak, i'd let em... after one sharp soul piercing gaze of "you couldnt get to know someone else COULD YA" oh and afta spanking him for being naughty of course (and age aint no consequence when it comes to a fathers spanking)


Assalamu Alaikum


you know what it'll be fun, like charades everytime i see his wife ;D

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

Lol alhamduulillah. I sure hope it disappears insha'Allah.

And I doubt your son would marry somebody who spoke a language you didnt speak...unless he was extremely talented, spoke about 4 different languages and married a French woman who didnt know English (I doubt that's happen )

But I too, think the prejudices will disappear over time insha'Allah, but only if I break them first bi'ithnillah

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

AssalamuAlaykum

Lol alhamduulillah. I sure hope it disappears insha'Allah.

And I doubt your son would marry somebody who spoke a language you didnt speak...unless he was extremely talented, spoke about 4 different languages and married a French woman who didnt know English (I doubt that's happen )

But I too, think the prejudices will disappear over time insha'Allah, but only if I break them first bi'ithnillah

WassalamuAlaykum

well if i decide to move to a new country and have a baby whilst there, the baby will grow up in their schools and learn the language... although i will probably learn it too ... hmm...


no your right actually, i think its impossible too.

Assalamu Alaikum

 

[Sahabiyaat]

My wife is Turkish and I am white Englishman. We sometimes find difficulties in language barrier, ie we both say things that are taken out of context at times. We live in Bradford which has a high undercurrent of racial tension and as a result we have had to move from one address because of weak rascists. Even my own Mother has caused problems and been rascist. I have witnessed people ridicule my wifes accent at work (by other nurses !), all I ever witnessed from the Turkish community is respect and friendliness for us. It is sometimes very hard for my wife and therefore for me too, but Allah brought us together, since meeting her I have discovered and embraced Islam and have been blessed with two beautiful children. Our blessings put any rascism or tension in the shade and if all Allah is asking of me is to be a husband and father in the light of Islam, then I pray He gives me the strength to be a rock for them. I do not beleive that cultural difference is anything more than enriching in a relationship, Allah guides who He will. Peace

this made me smile, May Allah bless your marriage InshaAllah.

 

[Tony]

Thanks happy it made someone smile. Well done with driving test. Peace

 

[Sahabiyaat]

thank u akhee.

 

[kwolney01]

InshAllah people will grow to accept other people no matter what they are.

I will be marrying someone outside of my culture. I am a Native American revert and he is a Pakistani guy. His family was a little worried about the culture differences but after we all met each other they didn't feel that way anymore. Plus he was born and raised in the U.S so that helps some.

I hate hearing stories about people having problems with the families of people they want to marry because the family wants them to marry someone of their own race. This is really sad especially as you said Islam doesn't tolerant this. Islam is a way of life for everyone and we should all accept each other for who we are not what race we are. We are first Muslims.

 

[Banu_Hashim]

I don't think it matters in the slightest, especially when it involves a second/third generation living somewhere outside their ethnic culture.

 

[S_87]

unfortunately racism will always be there even when we are parents

 

[Zahida]

Quite an interesting thread actually............made me think because i have children they are not old enough to be married yet but the time will come......................

I know of three mixed marraiges. The first a sister met and fell in love with a guy from college. He was from Africa her parents hit the roof. She is very happy now..................

Second i have a Turkish friend who also met her partner at college. MashaAllah his love was so strong that he converted to Islam before they married and is more Islamic than she...........

Thirdly a polish girl who met a Morroccon guy she was working with and she used to come to our Masjid, and sit Myself and another sister converted her to Islam before she married...............and it was the best feeling ever!!!

The problem is our parents..............................

:salamext:

Probably a lame thread title but by that I mean intercultural marriages...

What do you think...Do you think the intolerance we see today....(When it comes to parents) will disappear over time?

Do you think that when it comes to us being parents, them prejudices will have vanished or do you think there is wisdom in sticking to your own culture/background etc and never experiencing the richness of another :mmokay:

Why do you think these prejudices exist...There is no nationalism or tribalism or racism in Islam...so why?? :enough!:

Have you personally married out of the culture and if yes did you face any difficulties/hardships/barriers?

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[chacha_jalebi]

the Prophet (Saw) married ummul mumineen Mariam al qibtiyya (ra) who was from egpyt and ummul mumineen safiyaa (rA) was from banu nadir a yahudi tribe, so enough said!

if the Prophet (saw) did it, we can do it muhahahaaa haa!

i personally believe, that if you say i just wana marry into your own culture, then you have already restricted yourself from so much potential spouses out-there, then on top of that, your looking for or you should be lookin for someone who is practisin, and speakin from what ive seen, in my pakistanian culture, many people aint really into the deen honestly, the pakistanis that i know, aint really into it! so the best option is to keep your marriage choices more and more, dont restrict yourself to one culture! get out and marry whoever is the best, because the Prophet (Saw) told us to marry people for their deen, not their culture!

muhahaaaa

 

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

Sis Zahidah...Masha'Allah a fab post and beautiful examples, JazakAllah khayr.

I think we will move away from this restricting mindset one day insha'Allah. But as they say, be the changes you wanna see in the world :-[

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Banu_Hashim]

the Prophet (Saw) married ummul mumineen Mariam al qibtiyya (ra) who was from egpyt and ummul mumineen safiyaa (rA) was from banu nadir a yahudi tribe, so enough said!

if the Prophet (saw) did it, we can do it muhahahaaa haa!

i personally believe, that if you say i just wana marry into your own culture, then you have already restricted yourself from so much potential spouses out-there, then on top of that, your looking for or you should be lookin for someone who is practisin, and speakin from what ive seen, in my pakistanian culture, many people aint really into the deen honestly, the pakistanis that i know, aint really into it! so the best option is to keep your marriage choices more and more, dont restrict yourself to one culture! get out and marry whoever is the best, because the Prophet (Saw) told us to marry people for their deen, not their culture!

muhahaaaa

Yeah, I only found that out recently actually that Safiya (ra) was the daughter of a Jewish chief in Madinah, who was in fact a staunch enemy of Islam and Muhammad (saws). Interesting...

 

[islamirama]

There will always be resistance. Those who grow up in mix culture like outside of Muslim countries, the kids and later generations will be more open to it. This one arabi girl in my community is in love with black kid who is kuffar. That is what you get when you live in the west. But i think even then these arabs and desi will die over a white person (even black these days) before they marry among each other. As for back home, even kids will stick to their own kind when they grow up. Like it or not, it won't disppear.

 

[seeker-of-light]

i think respect for other cultures is very important but also your spouse must also have respect for your culture as well it must go both ways.^_^

 

[Mikayeel]

This is the cultural barrier that i don't like...

Like i will never get married to the women i love because of a different background, eventhough wer both muslims nd as far as i know islam is a way of life...