More caring for each other

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colinberry1

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Hi all, brothers and sisters, you all seem to be patient and caring here, I wanted to post my problems but if it is like most other forums you just get bombarded with things that you are trying to get away from.

But so far it seems that you all are more caring and have the time for each other.

But it seem to take a lifetime to be accepted on here so you could communicate freely with each other or even post a link, I could be here for years and treated like a stranger.
 
Hello to you

It´s sad if you feel yourself stranger or that others treat you like a stranger but it´s mostly depends on yourself like how active you are in forum and how you discuss with others. 31 posts from May 2015 isn´t very much here. As you mentioned about posting links, you are already full member so it´s not problem any more.
 
Hi sister herb, I am a 24/7 carer that hardly get any sleep, my wife is extremely demanding and cannot do anything for herself, saved me going into a long story I will place a link to put you in the picture. https://colinberry2.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/pleading-for-justice/

She had a brain injury and over the years she have got extremely bad needing my full attention.
 
Hello to you

Sorry to hear about the situation of your wife.

Anyways, forgive me if I misunderstood some parts of your earlier post.

Like this one was a little confusing then:

But it seem to take a lifetime to be accepted on here so you could communicate freely with each other or even post a link, I could be here for years and treated like a stranger.
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Hi فرحان, well the accident we were involved in took place at Costco’s and every time I post about our problems people who represent Costco’s usually come and give me a lot of headache trying to protect Costco.

I am trying again to get some help from my new MP the last one was absolutely useless, you will find I have to stop now and then to see to my wife so please excuse me for vanishing, now and then.
 
Sorry I didn’t know that the link is working, I thought I might be here forever trying to be able to explain to you all with out being able to place a link.
 
:bism: (In the name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

Hello, respected sir. Hope this message finds you in good health and good spirits.

I'm very sorry to read your story, and I sympathize with how difficult it must be to care for your wife who is practically an invalid. I would tell you that you are a hero, but I know that heroism in this life comes at a price and is little consolation as it is because you're also a human being who is also suffering due to your wife's condition. To be honest, I think you be benefited by maybe find a support group in real life that has meetings in London to discuss the struggles of caring for a person who requires full-time attention and nurturing.

The reason I say this is because I once read about how a woman had suffered miscarriage; people of course told her that she would become pregnant again and she should not worry and had would give her the reassurances that is typically afforded to women in her situation. However, she did not feel better because in some indefinable way she felt her real pain was not being acknowledged and people were simply expecting her to get over her real grief and loss. However, after finding a support group for women like herself, she was able to understand her own self and her fears and her loss better and cope with that in a healthier manner.

Also, if you have a very close friend, you should request that close friend write a story about you and your wife and then have GoFundMe page set up so that people are able to contribute in some way to whatever of expenses that you acquire or that which can afford you at least a part-time nurse. And then make that link available on FaceBook or whatever other social media is available to you. It is just a thought. This is something of course you too can do on your own; however, I thought a friend doing it might invite more people to help you as then your story and struggle is from a third-person standpoint.

Both Christianity and Islam ask us to turn to God with our burdens and struggles and ask for relief and alleviation of our suffering; so, you must do the same, turn to God in your prayers fervently and ask God to help you with your burdens and struggles: "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest!" (Quran 13:28).

Also, I apologize for suggesting this; however, since your wife is in this condition, have you thought about maybe setting her up in a nursing home? Please do not misunderstand me as I consider what you're doing very noble; however, as much as I admire your compassion and your caring for your wife, I also recognize that you are a human being and also deserve to pursue some measure of your happiness for yourself despite your circumstances. You have already stated that you hardly get any sleep as you are responsible for her care 24/7 and that cannot be physically, mentally, or emotionally healthy for you, though I definitely acknowledge that this caring is infinitely rewarding in God's eyes. However, I also know that as human beings we are not saints and therefore might not be able to martyr ourselves beyond our capacity and everybody's capacity is different.

As far as the solicitors go in your wife's case, I would suggest that you do your own research online about what solicitor you can trust to hire for your wife's case; as I'm sorry to say that being a solicitor in some cases is a money-making business and some people do not honor the ethics of the profession in providing due diligence to their client as their best form of serving their clients' interest.

I do not have further words of consolation or advice, but I do wish you to know that God has promised that "God is with the patient" (Quran 2:153).

Best Wishes,


colinberry1 said:
Hi sister herb, I am a 24/7 carer that hardly get any sleep, my wife is extremely demanding and cannot do anything for herself, saved me going into a long story I will place a link to put you in the picture. https://colinberry2.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/pleading-for-justice/

She had a brain injury and over the years she have got extremely bad needing my full attention.
Click to expand...
 
Hi Search, thanks for your advice it is caring of you, but you are right, I had a stroke on November 19, 2014 due to the extreme pressures, came out of hospital five days later and went straight to the home that my wife was in for three days, my sons had to go to work so they had to put her in there.

She was in such a mess she would not have lasted a week there, I had to take her out even though I was so weak but I could not live with myself knowing how bad she was, the carers said that it took three of them to deal with her.

I can deal with all of that, but what kills me is the solicitors involved, I wanted to take the case to court but our solicitors wasn’t having that, they brought an official Solicitor in to take over our position and ended the case.

They had no right to take away our human rights, Costco’s nearly killed the both of us in stacking 8 washing machine’s at the height of 30 feet overlapping by 20% with insufficient clingfilm. I felt the case deserve to go to court, I cannot believe how they could treat as the way they have. I believe we deserve a public apology, my parents was so ill worrying about us, unfortunately they both passed away.
 
Am I to old to convert to Islam, can a person with brain injury convert to Islam.
 
:bism: In the name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

Hello. Hope you're doing well again. Sir, you are indeed most welcome to convert to Islam; you would gladden our hearts should we have the privilege to call you our brother in faith though you already are our brother in humanity.

God does not care whether we are young or old or rich or poor or this color or that color but he cares for our hearts and our actions.

Prophet Muhammad :saws: salallahu alayhi wasallam (may peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Verily, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but rather He looks at your hearts and actions.”

Due to your wife's brain injury, she is one of those people who come under the category of people who have been excused on Judgment Day as Quran says "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear" (2:286) and therefore if you were to convert you can expect to be taken to Paradise with her In-sha-Allah (God-willing).

Prophet Muhammad :saws: sallalalahu alayhi wasallam (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The pen is lifted from three (i.e., their deeds are not recorded): the sleeper until he awakes, the child until he grows up, and the insane until he regains his sanity or regains consciousness.”

Hope that answered your questions.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parents' loss; and I'm also sorry to hear of the health problem you experienced about one and a half years ago. I admire your tenacity and nobility in the face of such adversities. I know this is not any real consolation but please know that each and one of us is tried in some way in this world. Allah (God) has said in the Quran to all humanity, "You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties and in your personal selves, and you shall certainly hear much that will grieve you..." (3:186) but also know that “…indeed the patient will be given their reward without account” [39:10] which is why we are told in Quran to give "glad tidings to those who patiently persevere – who say, when afflicted with calamity: ‘To God we belong, and to Him is our return’ – they are those on whom [descend] blessings from their Lord, and mercy and they are the ones that receive guidance.”

Best wishes,

colinberry1 said:
Am I to old to convert to Islam, can a person with brain injury convert to Islam.
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colinberry1 said:
Hi all, brothers and sisters, you all seem to be patient and caring here, I wanted to post my problems but if it is like most other forums you just get bombarded with things that you are trying to get away from. But so far it seems that you all are more caring and have the time for each other.But it seem to take a lifetime to be accepted on here so you could communicate freely with each other or even post a link, I could be here for years and treated like a stranger.
Click to expand...
Your welcome!
 
I am sorry to hear about your wives accident, you are 'lucky' to have each other. My prayers are with you, imsad
 
Hi Search, thanks again it takes a lot of weight of my shoulders, anyway she is an extremely good person it breaks my heart the thought of losing her, she lightens my heart with her innocence and caring ways.

I am so glad that I have been given the opportunity to care for her, knowing that she deserves it, every struggle I had to encounter makes me realize how much she means to me, and the respect and admiration I hold for her.

I just hope that I can accomplish my wishes before life closes the doors on me.
 
Search said:
:bism:
As far as the solicitors go in your wife's case, I would suggest that you do your own research online about what solicitor you can trust to hire for your wife's case; as I'm sorry to say that being a solicitor in some cases is a money-making business and some people do not honor the ethics of the profession in providing due diligence to their client as their best form of serving their clients' interest.
Click to expand...

Hi Search, the case is ended the problem is I wanted to take Costco to court for a public apology and make them explain why they stacked eight washing machines on a pallet overlapping by 20%, at a height of 30 feet, with insufficient clingfilm wrapped round, but our solicitor never wanted to take the case to court, he dismissed us as if we do not exist took his money and ran, leaving us to deal with the remains.

Well was it too much to ask, wouldn’t you expect the same if it was one of your family member, don’t you think that you all should have a say in the matter.

Well how would you like if you employed a plumber to install a kitchen sink in the kitchen, he decided the best place for it was in the bathroom would you just accept that, he left us in that position for 12 years, that is why I am bringing my local MP to look into our situation, and have the justice minister explain his opinion
 
I am sorry to hear about your situation. You and your wife are very blessed to have each other. I pray for justice and hope all your problems become quickly resolved.
 
colinberry1 said:
I can only pray for a miracle.
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I have prayed for you after I performed salah maghrib (sunset prayer) today. At the moment this is the only thing that I can do for you. May God gives you and your wife easiness to pass the difficulty.

Be strong, sir. :)
 

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