Mother acting harshly...

[Mustafa16]

I need to know how to be patient with my mother....
i told you all about how i found out why i am obsessed with women, and the name of the mental health condition, and when i tried telling my mother about it she just kept being aggressive and abrasive, and saying insults directly to me, ...she basically just said, "your problem is you are creepy and you dont know how to obey....you are a...." and ignored me when i tried persuading her and then screamed like a monster when i said "anne....?" ("mother...?") and hours later when i tried showing her the condition on the internt when she was more relaxed from her day at work, she screamed at me and said for me to go away, and said all kinds of insults to me....she also said, "you can talk to your doctor about it," and proceeded to watch TV while eating KFC friend chicken...even though her doctor warned her she has five years to live due to her obesity....i understand i am supposed to respect my mother, but dont i have rights, too? if my mother went through so much suffering carrying me in her belly, shouldn't she have thought about that before having me? she is always so insulting and abrasive and i dont understand why she acts like this.....i try being nice to her, but she is always so insulting.......what should i do?

 

[azc]

What are the obvious reasons of her being angry with you, ponder and post here

 

[fromelsewhere]

You should listen to your mother. If she tells you to go away (and she doesn't want to listen about your 'condition' that supposedly makes you obsessed about women), then leave her alone. Simple, no?

 

[greenhill]

You know, there is no manual on bringing up children. Despite it being the natural way and bringing up children is something every generation has to do, still it is probably the most trying, testing and continuously demanding task for anyone that has to adapt, understand and predict with the changes in the child (as they grow up and develop their own personalities) as well as having to deal with the challenges of their own adult world at the same time.

Sometimes 'vegging' out watching TV with comfort foods such as KFC is their only escape (for a while) before having to once again deal with the problems of life.

I am a parent myself, and my two children are very different with different demands and mannerisms. I cannot leave my decisions to be based on who shouts the loudest… it has to be a fair mechanism for both. That is the hardest part as it requires a lot of effort and thoughts, not something everyone is prepared for.

On your question about her suffering of carrying you and didn't she think about it before? Yes, having a baby is a natural process and the demands of having a child is something nobody can imagine fully. They can only assume to know but they don't!

What I found was that initially the discomfort of the pregnancy and the wish for the wife to give birth… after giving birth, the discomfort reduces but then the 'complaints' of not getting enough sleep surfaces as the baby cries at odd hours, then as the baby grows the constant shopping of clothes and baby stuff, and then the baby starts to crawl… maybe by now you are getting enough sleep because the baby no longer cries at night but the is 'compensated' by the baby (whereas before lies in the cot) now crawls everywhere and the mother has to keep an eye on it and as the baby starts to walk and run, the mother will then have to chase it all around!

Then we get to the start to talk part and the questions and demands for attention . . . .it is very exhausting. . . and by the time it comes to benefitting from the relationship when the baby is a young kid, the early dreams for the child might have been washed out by the stress and the exhaustion caused by the early years…

It seems like your mum just wants the 'stress free' life. Give it to her.


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