Mother not talking to me. Please help.

[innocent]

Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask you if you will also remember me in your prayers and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.

(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you're wondering.)

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

shake her hand? lol sister i thought mothers are to be hugged :$

dont worry sis, just keep at it, call her everyday, visit her loooaaads and show her your sorry, you love her and wish she could forgive and forget.

inshaAllaah things will be alright

 

[The Ruler]

shake her hand? lol sister i thought mothers are to be hugged :$

Yah, but her mum doesn't seem very co-operative.

then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.

I don't think prayers are ever accepted on the basis of your parents' relationship with you. Just keep praying and ask for forgiveness for your mother and yourself. You are trying your best, what more can you do?

 

[Tania]

Mothers have emotions too. Go alone to her, without husband, take something what she likes, and you are sure about that 100% and tell her: mom, years back you had right. I was wrong (you upseted her in the past-you know exactly with what and to be forgiven you have to admit that). Try to hug her and say several time i am sorry, what could i do now, i paid the price of not listening and above everything tell her simply: YOU NEED YOUR MOM BACK with her advices.

 

[Re.TiReD]

Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask you if you will also remember me in your prayers and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.

(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you're wondering.)

Wa'alaykum salam

Sis I feel what you're going through to a certain extent, but masha'Allah at your sincerity and determination to reconcile with your mother. Sis as long as you make sincere Du'aa, Allah (swt) will hear and rspond to your call.

[Allah's Awareness and Constant Readiness in Helping us]

Our Lord (glorified and exalted be He) descends each night to the earth's sky when there remains the final third of the night, and He says: Who is saying a prayer to Me that I may answer it? Who is asking something of Me that I may give it him? Who is asking forgiveness of Me that I may forgive him?

It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Muslim, Malik, at-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud).

In a version by Muslim the Hadith ends with the words: "And thus He continues till [the light of] dawn shines."

And you talk about your Du'aas being answered, know sis that Allah (swt) says:

[Almighty Allah's Limitless Mercy]

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.

It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its Isnad (chain of authorities) is sound.

Try calling your mum, dont get tired and dont lose hope...One day insha'Allah Allah (swt) will soften her resolve and reunite the two of you properly.

[Allah protects those spreading Love through His Glory]

Where are those who love one another through My glory? Today I shall give them shade in My shade, it being a day when there is no shade but My shade.

It was related by al-Bukhari (also by Malik).

Sorry I dont have any practical advice.

WassalamuAlaykum

 

[Ansariyah]

Just continue being nice to her, just do ur part. When u can't change people, Sometimes the best u can do is to change ur own "attitude" towards things. That helps me alot.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Bismillah

AsalamuAlikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu

Tell her of the following hadiths:

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger (peace be upon him) said:


"The gates of Paradise will be opened on Monday and on Thursdays, and every servant [of Allah] who associates nothing with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who has a grudge against his brother. [About them] it will be said, 'Delay these two until they are reconciled. Delay these two until they are reconciled. Delay these two until they are reconciled.'" (Muslim, Maalik, Abu Dawood)



And tell her the Muslim/Muslimah is forgiving,


The reward of the evil is the evil thereof, but whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is upon Allah. Al - Qur'an ( 42:40)


"…[those] who restrain anger and pardon [all] men – for Allah loves those who do good." (Qur’an, 3:134)


"There are three sins, whoever dies free of these sins will be forgiven for anything else if Allah wills: associating anything with Allah; practicing magic or witchcraft; and bearing resentment towards his brother." (Reported by al-Bukhari in Adab al-Mufrad)

I hope this help you huni, I really do feel for you, May Allaah forgive you both for what ever may have happened in the past,

May Allaah accept your prayer and your fast, ameen.
​

 

[BNDGR]

Wa aliakum salam sister,
I will put you and your mother in my prayers. InshAllah she can forgive you and start to just concentrate on the present and the future. I am always being told to be patient and that Allah loves us to be patient. So sister try to be patient with her and continue to make efforts at mending things and inshAllah it will happen for you both.

 

[youngsister]

Just open up to her go and see her alone one day and make the point that shes your mother and you love her simply open your heart to her, tell her that life is too short and make islamic points as well, then forcefully hug her lol
kiss her and be very nice to her.

I know it can be hard but trust me even the most stubborn person cant stay angry forever, and shes your mom she loves you. your in my dua

 

[Eeman]

you know what you need to do sis... bug the hell out of her...
i promise you she will give up eventually.
go see her everyday if you can, or even every other day.
call her everyday that im sure you can do... let her hang up on you call again let her ignore you keep on doing it... thn she will get tired lol and let go of it all... you know why cos she will see that you are genuinely sorry and that you are making an effort.

mothers are like that everyones mother is like that but thats just a face they put on... you think you cry and make dua little do you know that when your mother is sitting on her prayer mat making dua most of the duas are for you and your siblings if you have any.

i mean come on sis your a mother yourself surely that much you should know by now...
so start asap cos as you said God forbid we all dont know what the next min holds for us so start bugging your mum but in a nice way.

 

[coddles76]

Assalamalaikum.
For a few years now my mother has not spoken to me. Well, we werent close at all in the first place but something happened a few years ago after which she totally cut off and refuses to acknowledge my existence. I still occasionally take the kids to see her but I am ignored.
I know we made a mistake but that was a long time ago and she is very stubborn and the sort of person who holds agrudge till the bitter end. She doesnt like to give a second chance.I do not want things to be left like this indefinitely as you dont know whats going to happen in the next minute.
Many people in the family have tried for a reconciliation, me and my husband went to see her for this purpose but she just keeps repeating the past and wont let go. If I go to a family gathering and try to shake her hand she will not take my hand and turns away.
My eyes are filling up as I type even though we were never close she is still my mother.
The reason I am telling you this is that in this blessed month of Ramadan I am praying and fasting and then I am thinking are any of my prayers being accepted when my own mother will not give me the time of day? How can my prayers be accepted.
I pray every sehri time and every iftar time and with every namaz for one thing that we have a reconciliation. I would like to ask you if you will also remember me in your prayers and please please pray that my mother forgives me.
I hope my prayers will be answered. If this happens it will truly be a miracle.

(My father passed away several years ago may Allah grant him a place in heaven. Just in case you're wondering.)

Keep up the effort in reconciling with your Mother. Most of all keep up your faith and prayers. I pray that Allah SWT will ease her hard stance and return you both tp a great mother/daughter relationship.

 

[anonymous]

I pray that Allah SWT will ease her hard stance and return you both tp a great mother/daughter relationship.

well shes already mentioned that they were not close so I wouldnt call it a great mother /daughter relationship.
I will pray that your mother agrees to a reconciliation. Good luck.