I was making a specific dua for a month, made istighfar, made dhikr, tried my best to stand up for tahajjud, truly believed that my dua will get accepted, and today it got rejected.
For context, it is something in the lines of not being able to go on a schooltrip with my bestfriends because of my major. (Yes, I know it sounds incredibly stupid, but please try to understand me and have mercy on me.)
I know that my relationship with Allah (SWT) is not transactional and i won’t get my duas accepted just because i did all the things that i did, but the disappointment weights on me a lot, because i was so attached to this dua and was convinced that it would work out. I also know that it could be for the better, that maybe this rejection avoided a calamity, that i’ll get something better later or i’ll get rewarded for my duas later, but i wanted to go with so bad and i can’t help but ask if it was supposed to avoid a calamity, couldn’t i just have asked to make this trip good for me? I know Allah says that perhaps I like a thing that is bad for me, but why wouldn't Allah make what i wanted good for me when i asked? I know that it's for our benefit, but Allah is the All-mighty and can rewrite our destiny if we ask, is there a reason he wouldn't make it good for me when i asked? I hope you understand.
But i know that Allah knows better and that he would never let my efforts be in vain, and i know that I've lost nothing in relation to my dua because it gets answered in its own way.
I know i may sound stupid arguing and counter-arguing with myself and that the reason i'm so upset is stupid, but I hope someone can give me some some advice because I've been so upset that it's embarrassing. Jazakallah Khair.
For context, it is something in the lines of not being able to go on a schooltrip with my bestfriends because of my major. (Yes, I know it sounds incredibly stupid, but please try to understand me and have mercy on me.)
I know that my relationship with Allah (SWT) is not transactional and i won’t get my duas accepted just because i did all the things that i did, but the disappointment weights on me a lot, because i was so attached to this dua and was convinced that it would work out. I also know that it could be for the better, that maybe this rejection avoided a calamity, that i’ll get something better later or i’ll get rewarded for my duas later, but i wanted to go with so bad and i can’t help but ask if it was supposed to avoid a calamity, couldn’t i just have asked to make this trip good for me? I know Allah says that perhaps I like a thing that is bad for me, but why wouldn't Allah make what i wanted good for me when i asked? I know that it's for our benefit, but Allah is the All-mighty and can rewrite our destiny if we ask, is there a reason he wouldn't make it good for me when i asked? I hope you understand.
But i know that Allah knows better and that he would never let my efforts be in vain, and i know that I've lost nothing in relation to my dua because it gets answered in its own way.
I know i may sound stupid arguing and counter-arguing with myself and that the reason i'm so upset is stupid, but I hope someone can give me some some advice because I've been so upset that it's embarrassing. Jazakallah Khair.