My sister is BAD

[Blackpool]

Previously my 15 yr old sister has rebelled against my parents and whenever my parents slapped her arse she went to school telling her teachers my parents were BEATING her. They then called in the social services. My parents are now afraid to touch her as they have a 6 and a 7yr old son and daughter. They're afraid of the social services taking them away. My 15 yr old sister has clicked onto this. One minute she's lovey dovey, the next she's the biggest brat you could meet. The law SUCKS.

Yesterday my parents let my 15 yr old sister out at 2pm to band practice with her mates, she has yet to return home and it's 11:30am the following day. She has done this once or twice before but not THIS bad. She is now on the missing person's list and my dad has to go to the police station to hand in a photo. With me it's getting a bit like "the boy who cried wolf" but I hope she's ok. If she was mine and she walked through my door now I'd absolutely leather her..! I expect that she's been to some house party, went to bed late and will return home this afternoon. Let that be the case.

 

[Danah]

I hope she is fine, but you gotta find a way to control her acts more before its too late. This age is very dangerous, and the outside world in not safe for her either. This kind of freedom can make her an easy aim for bad friends and drags addicts. She is still young and doesn't know what is good for her, just wanna do whatever she like.

You are her brother, try to be friend of her so you can be as a shield for her whenever she needs you.

I think your parent gotta talk with the social services about that so they will know that your sis need more attention from your parent, not through violence or beating though.

 

[glo]

Oh Blackpool, you and your parents must be both angry and worried!

I hope your sister is safe and well.
I agree with Danah that this is a difficult time for your sister too ... :exhausted

Please keep us updated how things develop.

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Blackpool]

I hope she is fine, but you gotta find a way to control her acts more before its too late. This age is very dangerous, and the outside world in not safe for her either. This kind of freedom can make her an easy aim for bad friends and drags addicts. She is still young and doesn't know what is good for her, just wanna do whatever she like.

You are her brother, try to be friend of her so you can be as a shield for her whenever she needs you.

I think your parent gotta talk with the social services about that so they will know that your sis need more attention from your parent, not through violence or beating though.

She gets more attention from them that any of us ever had. She even gets pocket money whereas I used to work on a paper round to get cash. I'm the one she always comes to. I'm the one she talks to and gets on with the most. She gets excited when I visit her but she still does the things she does. My parents have grounded her, stopped her pocket money, made her do all the chores, sent her to her room, banned her from using the computer. She still continues. There is nothing more you can do apart from giving her a good hiding.

If she doesn't return I know I'll regret saying this but I am absolutely confident that she will return, please God. But then what? :hmm:

 

[glo]

Must be hard for you being the 'old brother'. Are you the oldest?

 

[Blackpool]

Must be hard for you being the 'old brother'. Are you the oldest?

I am the oldest. I have a 22 yr old sister, 6 year old brother and 7 yr old sister. I hope the younger ones don't turn out like the 15 yr old one.

I'm learning from this for when I have children of my own. Perhaps banning her from going out without a family memeber permanently would have been for the best.

 

[glo]

She gets more attention from them that any of us ever had. She even gets pocket money whereas I used to work on a paper round to get cash. I'm the one she always comes to. I'm the one she talks to and gets on with the most. She gets excited when I visit her but she still does the things she does. My parents have grounded her, stopped her pocket money, made her do all the chores, sent her to her room, banned her from using the computer. She still continues. There is nothing more you can do apart from giving her a good hiding.

If she doesn't return I know I'll regret saying this but I am absolutely confident that she will return, please God. But then what? :hmm:

Sounds like you are a good influence on her, Blackpool.
Even if she is going astray at the moment, hopefully the time will come when what you have taught, told and shown her will 'fall into place' and make sense to her.

Don't forget to love your sister.

 

[Danah]

She gets more attention from them that any of us ever had. She even gets pocket money whereas I used to work on a paper round to get cash. I'm the one she always comes to. I'm the one she talks to and gets on with the most. She gets excited when I visit her but she still does the things she does. My parents have grounded her, stopped her pocket money, made her do all the chores, sent her to her room, banned her from using the computer. She still continues. There is nothing more you can do apart from giving her a good hiding.

If she doesn't return I know I'll regret saying this but I am absolutely confident that she will return, please God. But then what? :hmm:

I am sorry to hear this. I can feel your concern about her. I hope she return safe very soon. Try to set with her and discuss things with her, see what she wanna accomplish by doing all of these stuff. Some teens in this age need very special techniques to deal with. InshaAllah after she returned back soon try to consult someone who can make things better like a social specialist or something like that.

 

[Blackpool]

I didn't find this out until about an hr ago. I live 150 miles away from my sister so it's hard for me to sit down and talk to her. Even in my presence she still rebels against my parents so it's definately not because I'm not present.

Thanks for all of your concern.

 

[Danah]

^ Oh thats even make things harder now!

Update us when she will be back.

All the best

 

[Blackpool]

See what I mean? She's returned home 28hrs later stinking of fags and a big love bite on her neck coming out with a pathetic excuse.

The police told my parents that they're not allowed to stop her from going out, despite her being 15, and that she is allowed to come back at any hr she likes. If my parents grab her and force her to stay inside then my sister can have my parents done for harrassment. The British Law SUCKS. This is why we have kids on the streets doing drugs at silly hours. You're not allowed to hit them nor control them but if anything happens to that child then the social services get involved.

She is still being forced to stay in permanently for now and has definately woken my parents up.

Britain for Shariah...! :/

 

[جوري]

I tell you a friend of my parents had a problem with their son doing the same thing, he threatened to call child services, so his mom picked up the phone and dialed for him, she said, good luck with your foster parents, and started packing his stuff and confiscated all his game boy and computers and what nots.. Can't tell you what a difference that made.. you can't cave in to teenagers.. I know it is painful and you don't want any ill to befall them but you can't let them control you, you must take charge!

so you go on telling your parents that story.. btw my parents just attended the wedding of that rebellious kid, so as to let you know how things turned out in the end!

peace

 

[aadil77]

Britain for Shariah...! :/

lol, when you don't feel you get justice from the law then naturally you want more effective and strict laws

I think it was david cameron, who joked about implementing the islamic law for stealing after his favourite bike was stolen, he got it back in the end

 

[Blackpool]

I tell you a friend of my parents had a problem with their son doing the same thing, he threatened to call child services, so his mom picked up the phone and dialed for him, she said, good luck with your foster parents, and started packing his stuff and confiscated all his game boy and computers and what nots.. Can't tell you what a difference that made.. you can't cave in to teenagers.. I know it is painful and you don't want any ill to befall them but you can't let them control you, you must take charge!

so you go on telling your parents that story.. btw my parents just attended the wedding of that rebellious kid, so as to let you know how things turned out in the end!

peace

They've done it. She's got too many friends that will take her in. My parents kicked out a month ago and she was told to go to stay at my other sister's house. My other sister (22yrs old) held her in control, made her clean the house from top to bottom, wash the pots, make the dinner etc to make her realise how easy she had it at my parents.
She begged my parents to take her back which they did and 2 weeks on she's done this. She's the only one that turned out like this and the difference was that we all got belted if we did owt wrong. They're afraid to belt my 15 yr old for the reasons I stated. In my opinion, this is the result.

I dread having children and because of my sister I may become VERY strict with my child in fear of this sort of behaviour.

 

[Danah]

See what I mean? She's returned home 28hrs later stinking of fags and a big love bite on her neck coming out with a pathetic excuse.

The police told my parents that they're not allowed to stop her from going out, despite her being 15, and that she is allowed to come back at any hr she likes. If my parents grab her and force her to stay inside then my sister can have my parents done for harrassment. The British Law SUCKS. This is why we have kids on the streets doing drugs at silly hours. You're not allowed to hit them nor control them but if anything happens to that child then the social services get involved.

She is still being forced to stay in permanently for now and has definately woken my parents up.

Britain for Shariah...! :/

I am very sorry to hear that she returned home in such a situation, but at least she came back which can be a hope for a new start. I think you -as her brother whom she feel close to- has to go and see her these days and discussed what happened with her. It seems that she don't listen to your parent at all
As I said before, consult someone professional in such teens problems and see how you can save her from being in a worse situation than the current one.

All the best

 

[glo]

See what I mean? She's returned home 28hrs later stinking of fags and a big love bite on her neck coming out with a pathetic excuse.

The police told my parents that they're not allowed to stop her from going out, despite her being 15, and that she is allowed to come back at any hr she likes. If my parents grab her and force her to stay inside then my sister can have my parents done for harrassment. The British Law SUCKS. This is why we have kids on the streets doing drugs at silly hours. You're not allowed to hit them nor control them but if anything happens to that child then the social services get involved.

She is still being forced to stay in permanently for now and has definately woken my parents up.

Britain for Shariah...! :/

They said what???
Whatever happened to parental responsibility???
I can't believe that the police officer who said that is right. If she was 18 it would be different. At 15 I believe her parents are still legally responsible for her.

 

[aadil77]

They've done it. She's got too many friends that will take her in. My parents kicked out a month ago and she was told to go to stay at my other sister's house. My other sister (22yrs old) held her in control, made her clean the house from top to bottom, wash the pots, make the dinner etc to make her realise how easy she had it at my parents.
She begged my parents to take her back which they did and 2 weeks on she's done this. She's the only one that turned out like this and the difference was that we all got belted if we did owt wrong. They're afraid to belt my 15 yr old for the reasons I stated. In my opinion, this is the result.

I dread having children and because of my sister I may become VERY strict with my child in fear of this sort of behaviour.

Her friends might take her in for a while, but no one will forever. I think you're older sister is your best option, cause she probably understands b*tchy (sorry can't think of an alternative) behaviour by girls better than anyone else in your family she can probably have her on lockdown, just tell her to go hard on her.

With kids you just have to stop the problem from the roots, any slightest raising in voice, any answering back has to be stopped right away or it just gets worse. I've literally raised my younger brother he's 10 now, he was an embarassing little rebel from when he was born, but now we have him fully on locks.

About her threats to your parents, you'll have to find something on her that you can blackmail her with to keep her quiet. I don't understand how anyone can call the cops or any agency on their own parents, its just morally wrong, I don't know anyone that would dare do that.

 

[Danah]

^ true.......her friends wont take her forever, they will abandon soon!

They said what???
Whatever happened to parental responsibility???
I can't believe that the police officer who said that is right. If she was 18 it would be different. At 15 I believe her parents are still legally responsible for her.

Exactly!
This is what I thought of too, from what I know, in Europe and US the legal age is 18 for being independent! Did they change the age by any chance?

I think even the social services have to consider that too, I am sure they wont be happy to see a girl going astray because of that stupid freedom they are forcing her parent to give her.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

hmm..


shes living day to day as it comes and just enjoying it as she goes. She cant see past that as to the consequences of her actions.

I think she needs a good talk, someone to explain that everything she does, the way she behaves affects everyone. I think its best coming from the eldest

 

[جوري]

They've done it. She's got too many friends that will take her in. My parents kicked out a month ago and she was told to go to stay at my other sister's house. My other sister (22yrs old) held her in control, made her clean the house from top to bottom, wash the pots, make the dinner etc to make her realise how easy she had it at my parents.
She begged my parents to take her back which they did and 2 weeks on she's done this. She's the only one that turned out like this and the difference was that we all got belted if we did owt wrong. They're afraid to belt my 15 yr old for the reasons I stated. In my opinion, this is the result.

I dread having children and because of my sister I may become VERY strict with my child in fear of this sort of behaviour.

Greetings,

that is just the thing, even her friends will tire her after a while, and I assure you, she will not be happy if they request that she does chores and she will beg your parents. The key here is for your parents NOT TO CAVE IN the secret to discipline is keeping your word. For instance my four year old niece the other day was acting out, so my sister told her there was no story time, and there was no story time, when she cried my sister made another punishment and carried it out, my niece told her she wanted to stop crying but couldn't help it, so my sister gave her a cup of water to distract her and she fell asleep without something that she enjoys. She knows when my sister tells her something that she will carry it though.

You think punishing is a pleasurable thing for anyone? absolutely not, no one likes to punish or see their flesh and blood suffer in anyway but you have to draw the limits or you'll have an uncontrollable monster on your hand... in my opinion when your sister took her in and she pleaded with your parents to come back, they shouldn't have let her come back..

I promise you, her friends will be tired of her after a while, but this time your parents need to set limits. Also if she has things that she likes around the house, that is the best thing to first take away from her, for instance phone or computer privileges, TV privileges-- your parents can also have a talk with her friends parents not to let her in... her discipline isn't England's responsibility, it is your parents' responsibility .. if she calls child services, then your mom should help her pack and tell her good luck.. I promise you she will not like living with complete strangers a city or two away and more likely than not they will enforce rules on her that will make her begging your parents to take her back..

listen go have a talk with your mom about a strategy, because this won't work at all. Sit her down tell her what she has done is unacceptable, and that she has to abide by the laws of the house or get out for good and take away everything from her that she hasn't earned herself like phone or clothes or whatever..

also here in the U.S there is a homing device that you can use on kids especially in the car so that parents can limit the distance their kids travel with their car before getting caught ..

I googled UK and this came up

http://www.privatedetectivescorporation.co.uk/?gclid=CODM-vygmJ8CFcNM5QodBllyRQ

haven't read it in full, but guarantee that there is a method you can keep taps on her if she decides to run away..


peace