anonymous
Anonymous User
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First off I just want to say alot of things have happened to me over this past year that have changed me to be a better muslim
Ill start from the beginning. 2 years ago during high school, (year 11) I was surrounded with good freinds, and Alhamdulillah they had a positive influance on me, most of them now do alima courses. As a result of all this influance I started wearing hijab, and jilbab, both in a short space of time. I really wanted to start an alima course last year to better myself, .....
but as im doing a-level my parents thought id find it too hard, and my mum was aginst the idea, because she wants me to do well in my academic studies. She does hav my best interest at heart, but I can't explain to her why I want/need to do it. Also I dont have any bro/sis I can talk to at home, I feel alone and really lonely at times, and this has had a negative effect on me. I know I cant change nt having a bro or sis I can talk to and even mess about with. I kno that but it still upsets me, when its quiet in the house, and I need to talk to someone. I do have a lil bro and a sis with down sydome, but I cant talk to them. I don't kno how Id be without them. Before I used to go out with my freinds and id be around people, but now I hardly go out as much (As i dont have the same circle of freinds) and the freinds I do have I feel i can't really open up to.

Things have just been piling over this past year...during the beginning of ramadan I started getting doubts about why we're here, I started questioning 'why can't jesus be the son of God?'..(astagfirullah)...I really didn't want to think these thoughts...but they kept coming in my mind.....and I got SO scared because this was in ramadan when shaytaan was locked away(so it couldn't have been wiswasas could it??).....I was literally convincing myself to stop thinking like that, i kept going over in my mind why it wasn't possible, I actually had a moment where I felt like disbeliver.....These thoughts have gone now...I don't want to think like this but they just come in my head...
This is anther reason why I want to do an alima course, to get a better understanding of Islam and strenghten my imaan, so this dosen't happen again..and on top I will be be surounded with good freinds...I actually feel like im going crazy/insane sometimes...and i just needed to let all that out...Please any advice on how I should go about being positive. I know SO many people out there have much worser problems than what im going thru, but all this is slowly eating away at me, and I feel confused about what to do, and who to tell. I feel depressed, and sometimes I can't stop crying imsadimsad
Sorry about the long post.
:wa:
Ill start from the beginning. 2 years ago during high school, (year 11) I was surrounded with good freinds, and Alhamdulillah they had a positive influance on me, most of them now do alima courses. As a result of all this influance I started wearing hijab, and jilbab, both in a short space of time. I really wanted to start an alima course last year to better myself, .....
but as im doing a-level my parents thought id find it too hard, and my mum was aginst the idea, because she wants me to do well in my academic studies. She does hav my best interest at heart, but I can't explain to her why I want/need to do it. Also I dont have any bro/sis I can talk to at home, I feel alone and really lonely at times, and this has had a negative effect on me. I know I cant change nt having a bro or sis I can talk to and even mess about with. I kno that but it still upsets me, when its quiet in the house, and I need to talk to someone. I do have a lil bro and a sis with down sydome, but I cant talk to them. I don't kno how Id be without them. Before I used to go out with my freinds and id be around people, but now I hardly go out as much (As i dont have the same circle of freinds) and the freinds I do have I feel i can't really open up to.


Things have just been piling over this past year...during the beginning of ramadan I started getting doubts about why we're here, I started questioning 'why can't jesus be the son of God?'..(astagfirullah)...I really didn't want to think these thoughts...but they kept coming in my mind.....and I got SO scared because this was in ramadan when shaytaan was locked away(so it couldn't have been wiswasas could it??).....I was literally convincing myself to stop thinking like that, i kept going over in my mind why it wasn't possible, I actually had a moment where I felt like disbeliver.....These thoughts have gone now...I don't want to think like this but they just come in my head...
This is anther reason why I want to do an alima course, to get a better understanding of Islam and strenghten my imaan, so this dosen't happen again..and on top I will be be surounded with good freinds...I actually feel like im going crazy/insane sometimes...and i just needed to let all that out...Please any advice on how I should go about being positive. I know SO many people out there have much worser problems than what im going thru, but all this is slowly eating away at me, and I feel confused about what to do, and who to tell. I feel depressed, and sometimes I can't stop crying imsadimsad
Sorry about the long post.
:wa: