Need help / advice.

Student1996

Student1996

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Okay, well here is the thing, I converted to islam at a local masjid, and I havent told my mother yet. I'm afraid of how she will react. And on wednsday she cooked pork chops and i told her "I'm to sick to eat" I do not want to keep lying to her like that. But I never told her I wasnt muslim though. I don't know what to do. Do any of you have any advice? Should i tell her, and if so how to tell her?
 
As'alaamu Alaikkum

I can understand your concerns in telling your mother but you know there is nothing to be ashamed of nor to be afraid of. You have made the best decision that you could possibly make in your life as now you have one chance of salvation and a chance to spend eternity with your maker.

You must tell your mother and always be honest. If she is unhappy then she will get used to it after a while Inshaa Allah. She is your mother not a monster. Even if she is negative and is against your conversion you must not be unkind, rude or abusive towards her, that is a great sin. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala tells us in the Holy Qur'an that we must always honour our parents come what may.

There is also the chance that after seeing your good Islamic qualities that she will take an interest in the religion and if she's not a godly person then it will make her think more about God. You never know she will be a Muslim too soon Inshaa Allah.

My advise bro is that YOU MUST TELL HER.
 
Salam alaykum

I have to agree that the best solution is to be honest and tell her the real reason why you don´t want to eat pork. If you feel you need some time to prepare yourself how to tell, you also might tell her that you have found out that meat of pork is not good for health. In this forum have been posted many articles about that matter. Just make search by the word "pork". When you tell her that muslims don´t eat pork, you also might need to explain her some reasons why eating pork is haram.

But as the brother Abu Loren wrote - better to be honest to her. You have to tell it anyways sooner or later I think.
 
Student1996 said:
Okay, well here is the thing, I converted to islam at a local masjid, and I havent told my mother yet. I'm afraid of how she will react. And on wednsday she cooked pork chops and i told her "I'm to sick to eat" I do not want to keep lying to her like that. But I never told her I wasnt muslim though. I don't know what to do. Do any of you have any advice? Should i tell her, and if so how to tell her?
Click to expand...

If you are still a dependent, then I advise against letting her know. Lot many kids have faced problems from their own parents...if life's going fine as it is and if you are able to avoid the haraam then no need to inform.

Generally speaking, how does your mom view Islam / Muslims?
Siblings, Dad?
 
^^ Thats a good point. I think it depends about your own situation what is the best to do at this moment.
 
One thing to watch out for: I converted very quietly, told one person who had been practicing dawah to me for months, and in two weeks everyone seems to know. I'm going to have to tell my family before someone else does.
 
:sl:


few lines from a related article :


Advice for Teenagers
Oftentimes, this is a situation which is best handled with care. There are no exact directions that I can offer to you, because how you and your family deal with this is based on a number of things: your age, your community, your relationship with your family, your previous religious experiences, your parents' commitment (or lack of) to a certain religion, and their willingness to explore new ideas.
Although it seems like a wacky idea, it has been said by other converts, and now by myself as well, that it oftentimes might be better to wait six months, a year or more to tell them. The reasons for this vary: you need to be more established in Islamic practices, and you need time to make friends and build a support system within the Muslim community. This is so that if your parents react to your announcement by attempting to "deprogram you," or schedule "an appointment" with the local minister / priest / rabbi, you will be able to rely on your knowledge of Quran, and the strength that being a practicing Muslim has given you.
Allowing yourself time to build a support system within the Muslim community is important so that you will have friends to help and guide you, to help answer any questions or concerns your family might have, and to help you out should your parents decide that you can no longer live in their house.
If you are fearful that your family may react with physical abuse, or a kidnapping and "deprogramming" attempt (yes, it happens), please make sure that you have someone there as a witness and support. Whether you are Muslim or not, you have the right not to be abused. If your family is abusive towards you, seek the necessary help to get out of that situation as soon as possible.
[TABLE="class: highlightBox, width: 200, align: right"]
[TR]
[TD="class: highlight"]Allow them time to be pleased with these positive changes, so that they may see that Islam is for the better[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
Another reason that it might be wise to wait a while is to allow your parents to see the positive changes that Islam will bring about in you: greater care to hygiene and appearance, greater discipline in your daily activities and your schoolwork, the fact that you are not falling under negative peer pressure to drink or drug or have sex, that you are more willing to honor your parents by helping around the house, that you are more attentive in your job (if you have one), etc. Allow them time to be pleased with these positive changes, so that they may see that Islam is for the better, not just for you, but for all people. If they see that Islam is "good for you", they may react more positively when you talk with them about it

http://www.onislam.net/english/read...o-i-tell-my-parents-a-family-im-a-muslim.html
 
:sl:


few lines from a related article :


How Do I Tell My Parents & Family I'm A Muslim?

American convert offers practical advice for new Muslims


By Saraji Umm Zaid
Friday, 12 August 2011 00:00

Advice for Teenagers




There are no exact directions that I can offer to you, because how you and your family deal with this is based on a number of things: your age, your community, your relationship with your family, your previous religious experiences, your parents' commitment (or lack of) to a certain religion, and their willingness to explore new ideas.



Although it seems like a wacky idea, it has been said by other converts, and now by myself as well, that it oftentimes might be better to wait six months, a year or more to tell them.



The reasons for this vary: you need to be more established in Islamic practices, and you need time to make friends and build a support system within the Muslim community.


This is so that if your parents react to your announcement by attempting to "deprogram you," or schedule "an appointment" with the local minister / priest / rabbi, you will be able to rely on your knowledge of Quran, and the strength that being a practicing Muslim has given you.


Allowing yourself time to build a support system within the Muslim community is important so that you will have friends to help and guide you, to help answer any questions or concerns your family might have, and to help you out should your parents decide that you can no longer live in their house.



If you are fearful that your family may react with physical abuse, or a kidnapping and "deprogramming" attempt (yes, it happens), please make sure that you have someone there as a witness and support.



Whether you are Muslim or not, you have the right not to be abused. If your family is abusive towards you, seek the necessary help to get out of that situation as soon as possible.
[TABLE="class: highlightBox, width: 200, align: right"]
[TR]
[TD="class: highlight"]Allow them time to be pleased with these positive changes, so that they may see that Islam is for the better
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

Another reason that it might be wise to wait a while is to allow your parents to see the positive changes that Islam will bring about in you: greater care to hygiene and appearance, greater discipline in your daily activities and your schoolwork, the fact that you are not falling under negative peer pressure to drink or drug or have sex, that you are more willing to honor your parents by helping around the house, that you are more attentive in your job (if you have one), etc.



Allow them time to be pleased with these positive changes, so that they may see that Islam is for the better, not just for you, but for all people. If they see that Islam is "good for you", they may react more positively when you talk with them about it





http://www.onislam.net/english/read...o-i-tell-my-parents-a-family-im-a-muslim.html
 
Last edited:
sister harb said:
^^ Thats a good point. I think it depends about your own situation what is the best to do at this moment.
Click to expand...

True, there's no reason to make things tough on yourself.

The OP needs to in-fact celebrate, for Allah has granted him guidance.

Avoid the haraam, learn the basics and keep in touch with a Scholar.
 
Abu Loren said:
As'alaamu Alaikkum

I can understand your concerns in telling your mother but you know there is nothing to be ashamed of nor to be afraid of. You have made the best decision that you could possibly make in your life as now you have one chance of salvation and a chance to spend eternity with your maker.

You must tell your mother and always be honest. If she is unhappy then she will get used to it after a while Inshaa Allah. She is your mother not a monster. Even if she is negative and is against your conversion you must not be unkind, rude or abusive towards her, that is a great sin. Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala tells us in the Holy Qur'an that we must always honour our parents come what may.

There is also the chance that after seeing your good Islamic qualities that she will take an interest in the religion and if she's not a godly person then it will make her think more about God. You never know she will be a Muslim too soon Inshaa Allah.

My advise bro is that YOU MUST TELL HER.
Click to expand...
Thankyou, Its not that I'm ashamed, its just because she will literaly think I am crazy, or she would just laugh and not take me seriously. I know my Mother and I can almost predict how she'l act.
 
I appreciate the support everyone, I just need someone to Pm in private so I can explain more details. And I know I'm "only" 16 and all, but its a little phase like a star wars phase, It is a way of life that I choose to persue.
 
Student1996 said:
I appreciate the support everyone, I just need someone to Pm in private so I can explain more details. And I know I'm "only" 16 and all, but its a little phase like a star wars phase, It is a way of life that I choose to persue.
Click to expand...
^What I meant to say was it is NOT a little phase.
 
Abu Loren said:
Take it easy will ya he's only 16.
Click to expand...

Bro, being in touch with a senior scholar would only make things easier for him..for sure they'd know better than us how to handle such situations...the reason why I suggested that measure.
 

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