brothers and sister before i tell you my situation i ask that please no one judge me or try to make me look or feel bad as i get it everyday everywere i go ever since ive been asking for help and how to seek forgivness in order to be truely forgiven. I am not a religious man and i regret this everyday as of lately my younger siblings are all quran hafiz. However i am not, i am a huge sinner i drink lots of alcahol regularly and in huge amounts, i have been with more women the i can count or remember, i have had more haram money then i have had brains. There is no one who can make me settle down or behave in a decent manner and im ashamed to say not even my owm family know what to do with me or if they should be associated with me. my mother and father are ashamed of me, my brothers and sisters hate and resent me. i feel alone all the time and this makes me drink more and do more dirty and sinful things and i hate myself everyday i look in the mirror and i dont even see my self just a poor man. However, lately i have met a girl who has managed to make me slightly more decent i have stopped drinking, being with women and stopped everything and anything that would make my earning haram lol believe it or not i am now actually broke without my haram money i do not even have a penny to call my own but with her help it dosent bother me and i do not mean financial help. I want to marry this girl because i love her and she loves me, she managed to see some decency in me when noone else could however im sunni she is shia but this does not bother us much. Her family on the other hand are not agreeing to this and her father and brother are saying terrible things to her for asking permission to be able to marry me, we have done nothing wrong i have not touched her or crossed the line with her in any way shape or form yet her family still say all these things and we are now not talking much cause of this we still want to get married but do not know how as her family her father in particular are not agreeing. my borthers and sister i know im not a good man but im here asking for your help how do i seek forgivness in order to be truley forgiven and is there anything i can do such are read duas or certin verses or anything to imprive my situation with this girl