Need help...plss!

[anonymous]

I've been avoiding to deal with this but I dont want to delay it any further. I know I cant do this alone, this why I seek ur help brothas/Sistas in Islam.

I go to school with a non-muslim girl who is a good friend of mine. She knows that I believe in chastity and have always made that clear to her. She was very close with me but unfortunately she ended up dating, and she would tell me what she did, and I would be upset. But I knew that I couldnt do anything about that, cause at the end of the day shes not a Muslim. So I had to respect her choices in life. It hurt me to see her get used by these boys, and she thought they cared but it was obvious to me that they didnt. I havent spoken to her for awhile, I didnt want to be part of that crowd but I told her that I would always be there for her if she needed me. She contacted me recently telling me she got pregnant but aborted it (because her boyfriend told her that it wasnt a good time). She was asking me what Islam says about this and that shes interested in Islam. I'm really upset about the abortion thing, but I havent replied to her email yet. She wants to know what I think about it the abortion, and what Islam says about it.

I dont know what to do, or where to begin to be honest.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
its really good that she has come to ask you about islam.

She wants to know what I think about it the abortion, and what Islam says about it.

tell her what you think about the abortion. just tell her the honest truth. here is a good time to advise her about her mistakes and get her contemplate.... you shoud do so in a kind and considerate manner, considering and taking into account the very different lifestyle she has as a non-muslim.

though she isnt right in being with the wrong crowd, it was still very wrong of her boyfriend to suggest an abortion...she should know that...im sure it wasn't easy for her to kill her own baby. tell her to dump the idiot and stay away from boys altogether.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I've been avoiding to deal with this but I dont want to delay it any further. I know I cant do this alone, this why I seek ur help brothas/Sistas in Islam.

I go to school with a non-muslim girl who is a good friend of mine. She knows that I believe in chastity and have always made that clear to her. She was very close with me but unfortunately she ended up dating, and she would tell me what she did, and I would be upset. But I knew that I couldnt do anything about that, cause at the end of the day shes not a Muslim. So I had to respect her choices in life. It hurt me to see her get used by these boys, and she thought they cared but it was obvious to me that they didnt. I havent spoken to her for awhile, I didnt want to be part of that crowd but I told her that I would always be there for her if she needed me. She contacted me recently telling me she got pregnant but aborted it (because her boyfriend told her that it wasnt a good time). She was asking me what Islam says about this and that shes interested in Islam. I'm really upset about the abortion thing, but I havent replied to her email yet. She wants to know what I think about it the abortion, and what Islam says about it.

I dont know what to do, or where to begin to be honest.

Asalaamu Alaikum, jazakallahu khayr for sharing your issues with us. My dear brother firstly it is commendable that you have refrained from having any kind of relations with her. It is clear that she went on to lead a promiscuis lifestyle which is very apparent in todays societies.

Although you made it clear to her that that you want to remain chaste you kept in touch with her which is something you should not have done as it is not permissable for us to remain in touch with a non mahram member of the opposite sex for obvious reasons. However that is in the past now so you must learn from it and never stay in touch with a non mahram women again even if you are getting to know her for marriage as that should be done through her mahram.

So in this case you must cut off call ontact with her immediatley telling her that you cannot talk to her as it is not permissable for you to do so because she is not your mahram.

What you can do is send her your final e mail telling her why you cannot stay in touch etc and along with the e mail paste this link which tells you of the Islamic position of abortion in Islam and also send her contact details of sisters or a sisters group who can give her the help, support and dawah she needs in order for her to eventually become a Muslim.

After that you must change your e mail address and number and have a fresh start and do everything to please Allah and refrain from anything which angers or displeases him.

Here are the links:

When it is permitted to have an abortion

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=12&ID=270&CATE=87

What is Islam

http://www.islamreligion.com/category/49/

The Benefits of Islam

http://www.islamreligion.com/category/43/?gclid=CIyY_KHYs6gCFUEa4Qod92u9Aw

How to Convert to Islam and Become a Muslim

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/204/?gclid=CIfF0PzXs6gCFUEb4QodwHxFCg

Islam: Beliefs and Teachings PDF BOOK

http://www.islamicbulletin.org/free_downloads/kids/Islam_teachings.pdf

Therefore what you must do is to get her in touch with a local sisters or a local sisters group who will be able to give her direct help, support and dawah aswell as giving her all of the resources she needs in order to research and become a Muslim.

If you need help locating such a group or sisters who can help her then i can help you inshallah if you tell me what area you are from.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[anonymous]

^I'm a sister

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

^I'm a sister

Asalaamu Alaikum, i do apologise sister as you did not state your gender in your post. I would like to commend you on the fact that you were firm with wanting to protect your chastity as it can be quite difficult for the youth especially in the western free mixing school systems. I also think you did the right thing in distancing yourself from her especially when she started dating boys.

Regarding this situation i think you should certainly e mail her the links i posted above and also get her in touch with more knowledgable sisters especially those who are working for the cause of Islam and helping out other revert sisters in your area. In this way she will recieve the resources, help and support she needs from sisters who know how to approach those in her situation.

It would be best to try and get her in touch with other revert sisters. There must be such a sisters group in your area or in a local masjid. It is just a matter of asking around. If you need help locating one then i can certainly try and help you if you tell me your area.

I also think you should limit your contact with her to e mails until it is certain that she has left such a lifestyle. Hope that helps. If you want any other help or advice then please do not hesitate to ask.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[Yanal]

Insha'Allaah this video helps clear any lingering doubts about abortion so you may also clarify this to your friend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wZA9Hx5pQ8

May Allaah make it easier for her and you,ameen.