Assalamulaykom!
I met a man before i converted to Islam...he is from Jordan. I admire him when he prays and he treats me well. I was a Christian before but I couldnt have peace when I pray and i didnt know to whom i address my prayer because of too much people i was taught to pray to. When i met him, i must admit he took my heart and gave me a good faith, without his knowing about it.
I converted last February through the help of a friend who brought me to Islamic study. But by before that time our relationship is more than emotional, it is also physical. I dont know how to stop it or control it.. and i pray to God to help me because I was very weak. I told God to keep us together forever and help us stopped sinning by binding us thru marriage one day or I asked God to separate us if we are really have to separate one day.
He told me his parents are forcing him to get married in his country and they were angry to him why he keeps running away. He told me to catch him and give him baby. And he dreams of really having a girl child so she can take care of him when he grows old. My heart was softened again and i prayed to God if it is His will to keep us together... give us a child. And before he went back to his country for vacation... I am pregnant and that was after 6 months we were together.
He went there and he didnt agree to his family to get engaged and marry there. He went back to Qatar to be with me and told me to lose the baby so he can bring me to his family.
I dont understand why i need to lose it.. i know it is a big sin to kill an unborn baby and besides i prayed to God for this and I fear God if i will kill it. I am really scared and asking him why he told me to kill it and he was asking for it also. He told me it is not the time yet. I was very confused.
I took my vacation and im only 2 and half months pregnant. He gave me money to find a doctor who will do the abortion. Im scared really that God will punish me more and maybe this man will leave me after. I went home and tried to have strong heart to do it... but i couldnt even he told me he couldnt marry me anymore and he will leave me if i didnt lose it. I dont know if i made the right thing... I keep the baby fearing God will punish me more. .
Now im 6 months pregnant and it is a baby girl... i left home because i dont want my family to know it because it will create shame for them.
I still communicate with him. He said he loves me too much still but he said our relationship will go nowhere because his family will be very angry to him and blames me for not aborting the child.
I dont know what i will do. Why he said he couldnt marry me now since we have already a child and this child is haram?
I am deeply hurt and confused. Maybe i can get over with him one day but how about my child.. what I can do for him to recognise him?
I met a man before i converted to Islam...he is from Jordan. I admire him when he prays and he treats me well. I was a Christian before but I couldnt have peace when I pray and i didnt know to whom i address my prayer because of too much people i was taught to pray to. When i met him, i must admit he took my heart and gave me a good faith, without his knowing about it.
I converted last February through the help of a friend who brought me to Islamic study. But by before that time our relationship is more than emotional, it is also physical. I dont know how to stop it or control it.. and i pray to God to help me because I was very weak. I told God to keep us together forever and help us stopped sinning by binding us thru marriage one day or I asked God to separate us if we are really have to separate one day.
He told me his parents are forcing him to get married in his country and they were angry to him why he keeps running away. He told me to catch him and give him baby. And he dreams of really having a girl child so she can take care of him when he grows old. My heart was softened again and i prayed to God if it is His will to keep us together... give us a child. And before he went back to his country for vacation... I am pregnant and that was after 6 months we were together.
He went there and he didnt agree to his family to get engaged and marry there. He went back to Qatar to be with me and told me to lose the baby so he can bring me to his family.
I dont understand why i need to lose it.. i know it is a big sin to kill an unborn baby and besides i prayed to God for this and I fear God if i will kill it. I am really scared and asking him why he told me to kill it and he was asking for it also. He told me it is not the time yet. I was very confused.
I took my vacation and im only 2 and half months pregnant. He gave me money to find a doctor who will do the abortion. Im scared really that God will punish me more and maybe this man will leave me after. I went home and tried to have strong heart to do it... but i couldnt even he told me he couldnt marry me anymore and he will leave me if i didnt lose it. I dont know if i made the right thing... I keep the baby fearing God will punish me more. .
Now im 6 months pregnant and it is a baby girl... i left home because i dont want my family to know it because it will create shame for them.
I still communicate with him. He said he loves me too much still but he said our relationship will go nowhere because his family will be very angry to him and blames me for not aborting the child.
I dont know what i will do. Why he said he couldnt marry me now since we have already a child and this child is haram?
I am deeply hurt and confused. Maybe i can get over with him one day but how about my child.. what I can do for him to recognise him?
