Nikkah while still legally married?

[AnonymousPoster]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I have been divorced from my(ex) husband for more than a year now. We live apart and only see eachother because of the child we have together. However, I am still married to him legally because I was not able to afford a divorce lawyer, and because I needed to keep my health insurance. Our legal marriage has never meant much to us, and was only done for the sake of our child.

Anyway, I met a wonderful man online who wants to marry me. He is still legally married as well as islamically married, but has been separated from his wife for a couple years and it doesnt look like they will reconcile. I dont mind his situation, but the thing is that when we first started talking, I told him that I was legally divorced. (which im not) It was early on, and he was only someone I had just met online, so I didnt believe it mattered. As I started getting more and more attatched to him I became afraid to tell him the truth... out of fear of losing him.

So three questions:

1- Is it permissible for me to marry this man even if I am still legally married? (I do intend on divorcing my ex asap)

2- Should I tell him? He probably wouldnt find out on his own, since we will be living apart for a while. But not telling him the truth is killing me I'm just afraid how he will react, since he tells me he has trust issues.

3- And brothers--- how would you feel about marrying a girl you knew was in this situation? Assuming you loved her and cared about her...

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

2- Should I tell him? He probably wouldnt find out on his own, since we will be living apart for a while. But not telling him the truth is killing me I'm just afraid how he will react, since he tells me he has trust issues.

yeah, you should. the later you leave it the harder it gonna het, and also when he finds out that you've left not telling him for this long, than he'll be even more peeved...which is understandable...would you like it if you were in his shoes? :sunny:

 

[Snowflake]

1- Is it permissible for me to marry this man even if I am still legally married? (I do intend on divorcing my ex asap)

Yes, you can perform nikah but if you intend to register your second marriage by law, then that can only be done if you are legally divorced. Otherwise, you can get done for Bigamy.

2- Should I tell him? He probably wouldnt find out on his own, since we will be living apart for a while. But not telling him the truth is killing me I'm just afraid how he will react, since he tells me he has trust issues.

Sis, it's your choice at the end of the day but a man who has trust issues is not easy to live with. He will question your every move and believe me you will tire of it and then God knows what that will lead to. Secondly, for the first part of your question, you need to tell him asap. These things have a way of coming out sooner or later. And for a man who already has trust issues - well let's just say it could be the last straw.

 

[Muezzin]

How long have you and your husband been separated? After a certain amount of time (two years, I think, though I'll check, inshallah), you can have it anulled.

This is under British law, mind you.

 

[Snowflake]

I forgot to add that a relationship of marriage should be built on honesty and trust. Just be honest and say you withheld something important from him as at the time it seemed irrelevant, but you now realise you were wrong to do so. Then just tell him the truth. I'm sure he'd appreciate knowing before your marriage rather than afterwards.

 

[glo]

I agree with the previous sisters.

Regardless of whether you are Islamically required to tell this man the truth about your marital status or not, do you not think truth would be the best way to start a new marriage?

Be courageous, and trust in the relationship and care for each other that has already grown between you. Dare to put it to the test!

I wish you well for your future and your new marriage.

Peace

 

[Snowflake]

Glo- Dare to put it to the test!

I was thinking that too. If he then doesn't want to get married then know he isn't the right one to for you.