NO Salaams

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deeah_2

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I have been in several situations where I've salaam sisters and they have not returned the salaams back to me. I made sure that I said it loud enough for them to hear me and still I got no response. I even asked a sister why she did not greet me and she told me "becuase you have flowers on your kimar and your attracting attention". I was covered from head to toe. If a muslim greets you, should'nt you greet them the same or better? Does anybody think I did anything wrong? I look forward to your reponses.
 
deeah_2 said:
I have been in several situations where I've salaam sisters and they have not returned the salaams back to me. I made sure that I said it loud enough for them to hear me and still I got no response. I even asked a sister why she did not greet me and she told me "becuase you have flowers on your kimar and your attracting attention". I was covered from head to toe. If a muslim greets you, should'nt you greet them the same or better? Does anybody think I did anything wrong? I look forward to your reponses.
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:w:

sadly, even though we may be Muslims, it does not always prevent us from having personal bias's and prejudices. I think you ran into a cultural issue and have found some prejudiced sisters. They may be acting in accordance with their culture, but it does not seem to be very Islamic in my opinion. Astagfirullah.
 
deeah_2 said:
I have been in several situations where I've salaam sisters and they have not returned the salaams back to me. I made sure that I said it loud enough for them to hear me and still I got no response. I even asked a sister why she did not greet me and she told me "becuase you have flowers on your kimar and your attracting attention". I was covered from head to toe. If a muslim greets you, should'nt you greet them the same or better? Does anybody think I did anything wrong? I look forward to your reponses.
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Assalaamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatulaah

Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Five are the rights of a Muslim over his brother: responding to salutation, saying "Yarhamuka Allah" when he sneezes and says Al-Hamdu Lillah, accepting the invitation, visiting the sick and following the funeral procession.

Sometimes sisters walk pass by you and do not reply to your salaams perhaps it is due to ignorance, they are not aware of the hadiths, or maybe they did not hear. Allah knows best. Regarding the sister that did not replying to your salaam because you had flowers on your scarf maybe she is ignorant of the hadith, insha Allah you should explain it to her in a gentle way that is obligatory for her to repond to your salaam.
 
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Thank you for your response, you gave me a reason to look at the situation a little differently all praises due to Allah!!
 
I can relate. But it is better for you to be the first one to give salams.
I intentionally try to make eye contact with some sisters to give them salams, and some deliberately turn the other way, avoiding eye contact. You can't really help the situation. I guess it's in their personality.
 
deeah_2 said:
I have been in several situations where I've salaam sisters and they have not returned the salaams back to me. I made sure that I said it loud enough for them to hear me and still I got no response. I even asked a sister why she did not greet me and she told me "becuase you have flowers on your kimar and your attracting attention". I was covered from head to toe. If a muslim greets you, should'nt you greet them the same or better? Does anybody think I did anything wrong? I look forward to your reponses.
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:sl:

I live in an area with a lot of 'Muslims' (well anyway they are wearing hijab). And I also have found it very hard to get any response to my 'salaam alaikum'. I stopped saying it automatically and tried just to get eye contact first....sometimes I would get eye contact and smile but they just turned away! ouch I felt so rejected and embarrassed. To smile at someone and they look you up and down coldly and turn away is not a good experience. And it didn't just happen passing by people in the street, the other hijabi mothers at my son's school totally ignored my salaams when we were standing together outside the classroom!

anway I kind of gave up trying and didn't even bother looking at hijabis after that. Unfortunately though sometimes I found that I had passed by a sister who had given me salaams! So I had become like the other sisters that had hurt me (except it was not intentional).

So now I am back to trying to make eye contact with all the hijabis I see and if I don't get a dirty look I will give salaams. and like the other sister said, if they don't reply then the angels tell you 'wa alaikum as-salaam' which should more than make up for feeling embarrassed (in my case).

:w:
 
^ i can share your experience

there was a woman who i once worked with who was more ignorant than anyone ive ever met. she refused to give salaam to any muslim girl who didnt wear hijaab, or wore a headscarf but no jilbaab simply because she regarded them as kuffar.

if someone doesnt outwardly appear to be a good muslim, we sholdnt judge them coz we dont have that right. And if we dont reply to their salaams it will only make them distance themselves even more from islam
 
:sl: Well, you gave them salaam and they didn't return it back it's all on them. I've run into the same problems with my community. I deliberately reached out and said salams but all I got was a eye roll. What can you do? Nothing but pray that they learn some adab.
 
this is wrong and islamically they should reply back to you. Some sisters dont reply to brothers thats a different case, but when its both sisters or brothers they should greet each other
 
:sl:

Omg sis ummzayd, I know exactly how that felt. I've had sisters look me up and down when I smiled or just didnt reply, trying to get their attention. It was totally embarassing. Allahu Alam though, they coulda had a bad day or maybe the sun was in her eyes ;D.

Well the good thing is sis that you didnt lose your adab and sent your salaams to them. Perhaps one day in their lives they will understand InshaAllah :)

:w:
 
No sister you did right. They got issues. Its sunnat to say salaam to peeps you don't know. Carry on saying salaam coz you guna get rewarded for trying. :sunny:
 
Lots of good advice given.

We can not control the actions of others, but we can control our own actions. That is the main thing we should be concerned with. Not so much what others do to us, but what we do to others.
 

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