nousername
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Someone asked:
Salaam Alaykum
By the grace of Allah I have been muslim since I was 14. However, I have met many brothers who state that we need to have hate against the Kuffar.
If we hate the kuffar. than how can we feel that sense of sympathy where we can strive to invite them. As hating can effect the way a person deals with an individual.
My mother whom I love, is not a muslim. Neither is my father. Should I have kariha in my heart for them. If so this is something that is very difficult to accomplish.
As they never turned me away when i became muslim. They gave me a place to stay when I got married etc....
Loving and Hating for the sake of Allah as I understand is as follows; we hate the actions of kufr but not the individuals. Can anyone clarify.
Barak Allahu Feekum
The student of knowledge responded:
My dear beloved brother you need to differentiate between:
1) Disbelievers who show enmity to Islam
2) Disbelievers who are not fighting your religion in any form
You need to differentiate between:
1) Natural feelings of love i.e. parents, children and etc..
2) loving for Allah sake and hating for Allah sake in general.
An answer to my beloved brother's questions:
This is the answer for your question from the Quran: {لَا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ }
{ Allah does not forbid you respecting those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly; surely Allah loves the doers of justice.} [ Sura Al-Mumtahana: Verse 8]
This is the answer for you from Sunnah:
فعن أسماء بنت أبي بكر رضي الله عنهما قالت : قدمتْ عليَّ أمِّي وهي مشركة في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستفتيتُ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت : قدمتْ عليَّ أمِّي وهي راغبة أفأصل أمي ؟ قال : نعم صِلِي أمَّك
Asma' daughter of Abu Bakr reported: I said: Messenger of Allah, my mother, who is inclined or scared has come to me. Should I (even An her position of being opposed to Islam) treat her well? He said: Yes.[ Agreed upon; Sahih Muslim:1003 and sahih Bukhari: 2477]
My brother loving your parents, pleasing them and obeying them - as long as they do not command you to commit a sin- is something that pleases Allah - Subhanu Wa Ta'la.
My beloved brother the reason that drive you to hate a disbeliever for Allah sake in such case is because of the Kufr they are upon and not because of them as individuals ( smile). Did not you see that at time a disbeliever enters Islam the much you hated him for Allah sake immediately change to a love for Allah sake (smile)
May Allah make it easy for you and open your parents hearts to Islam, especially after knowing how they treated you after entering Islam, which is a bliss from Allah, Alhamdullah.
Wallahu A'lam
A non-student of knowledge then said:
Its waajib to hate the kaafir himself and not just his kufr.
You cant separate between the deed and the doer this makes no sense at all, as who is doing it?
This confused the initial questioner, who said:
If I understand you correctly than I should hate my mother and my father???
Another student of knowledge clarified:
Jazakumullahu khairan.
We should not understand love and hate from the way they are depicted in Hollywood!
In Islam, love and hate are not just emotional feelings. They are positions which one takes from someone or something.
Omar RAA told the Prophet ASWS: I love you more than everything except myself. Then a few seconds later said: Now I love you more than I love myself.
Had love been just an emotional feeling, Omar RAA would not have been able to change it so soon. It takes time for emotions to change.
Love is a positive position which you take between you and yourself toward something. It includes respect, appreciation, admiration, affiliation … etc. Hate is a negative position.
Having emotional feelings towards your Christian wife, the mother of your children, is normal. However, you have to have a Shar’ee hatred, a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT.
Wallahu A’lam.
The first student of knowledge told the initial questioner:
My dear beloved brother do not confuse yourself with it because this confusion is a result of understanding the terms ( hate) and ( Love) from a western perspective. Thus, if you wish to explain this matter you need to explain first to them what hate and love stands for in Islam so that they do not mix it up with their own understanding to such feelings.
As a result, distinguish between Human being emotions and feelings and Islamic feelings which do not contradict each other in such case ( smile)
It is correct to say: I love my wife as I am ordered by Allah ( treat her with love, mercy, respect, justice and kindness) BUT at the same time i have "a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT."
He (student of knowledge) continued:
My dear brother,
I believe that you do have misunderstanding about what love means here!! Again you need to distinguish between personal feelings and Shari'a feelings and stand. The prophet loved his uncle and he was a disbeliever!!!
If you refer to the Hadith which is:
Narrated By Anas: A man asked the Prophet about the Hour (i.e. Day of Judgment) saying, "When will the Hour be?" The Prophet said, "What have you prepared for it?" The man said, "Nothing, except that I love Allah and His Apostle." The Prophet said, "You will be with those whom you love." We had never been so glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (i.e., "You will be with those whom you love.") Therefore, I love the Prophet, Abu Bakr and 'Umar, and I hope that I will be with them because of my love for them though my deeds are not similar to theirs. [Agreed upon]
Imam Al-Nawawi said:
From the virtues of loving Allah and his messenger is to obey their commands and stick fast to the manners and etiquettes of Islam
it is not conditional to do as exact good deeds as the pious people you love because if you do you will be one of them.
As you can see here: this love is combined with the wish to follow what those he/she loves. Thus, if this love, which is a normal feeling to have, toward a disbeliever i..e wife, parents without the wish to follow their way or what they do which is against our religion then it is fine. However, on the same time this love must be combined with what Islam implements on us to have ""a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT."
Wallahu A'lam
He answered another question, saying:
My dear beloved brother,
I believe you still confuse the meaning of love and always bring it back to the western understand of such feeling. Thus, I blame only myself for not being able to bring out my words in best way so that it is clear, so inshallah you forgive my short come.
Let me put it this way:
There is a big different between love that comes out as natural due to blood relationship i.e. parents, family, children and such so and the so called love that happens due to admiration to some traits in people. I still argue the second type is not love but rather just an admiration. Thus, this differentiation will assist you to know which type of love that leads to imitation!
The First type of love does not lead to imitation, although it may happen if Islam is not there, as it is the Fitra , which Allah planted in your heart that caused this love whether the father or the mother has bad characters or not. On the other hand, the second type of so called love happens after anticipating some aspects of someone or something that your initiative feelings toward him/her/it is neutral which makes the shift of feelings a personal choice you have made.
You argue that loving family members who happen to be disbelievers will lead the person to imitation them!! I ask you here: which type of love you mean? If it is the first type of love then I say you are wrong because of the following evidences:
1. The Prophet loved his uncle as it is known and that was not criticized by Allah.
2.The companions showed their love to their family memebers who were disbelievers and the prophet never criticized them for that because it was natural feeling.
3. Allah says: {Lo! thou (O Muhammad) guidest not whom thou lovest, but Allah guideth whom He will. And He is best aware of those who walk aright.} [ Sura Al-Qassas: verse 55]
Yet, let me remind everyone that this love should not be on the account of Allah's love because in cases where confronting to happen, Allah's love overpower the natural emotions. So, as can be noted, This natural emotions of love is not left loose but put into the right path.
The second point here, is about the Hadith you quoted and we explained in my previous reply. Please note that this type of love, mentioned in the Hadith, is listed under the second type of love which we explained.
This type of feeling is completely different to the natural love because this love is a result of a personal anticipation to someone's character and other external factors that led this person to love that particular person. Yes, this type of love leads to imitation therefore we must pick the right ones to love in this case as this will lead to imitate them in some point. However, if a disbeliever has some good traits like honesty, trust worthy and such so then we can love these traits in him as exactly the
The prophet loved the traits of Hatim Al-Tai'e.( anyway the reason behind having such love is because such traits are already existed in Islam).
Sum up:
Love is either a natural feeling ( blood-relationship) which is allowed in Islam even if the person who we love here is a disbeliever as long as it does not affect our love to Allah
and his messenger. ( Note: this type of love normally does not lead to imitation)
OR
It is type of feeling that resulted upon a personal choice to people whom nothing linked us to them. In this case, we must pick the righteous and the good ones to love as it will lead us to imitate them and be a reason for us to be gathered with in the Judgment day. Yet, that does not forbade us to love specific traits that some have even if they were disbelievers.
Keep in mind that ( love & hate) is understood as Islamic terms not as western terms because Hate here as Shaikh Haitham said, means: ""a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT.""
I hope my words are clear for you now and to be understood correctly.
Wallahu A'lam
Some Arabic: ملتقى أهل الحديث - عرض مشاركة واحدة - هل يجب أن أحب مدينة الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام،،أكثر مما أحب ((نجداً))؟؟
Something to think about (from a non-student of knowledge):
We don't say, as the misguided Christians say, 'Hate the sin and love the sinner'
Think about it- do we love salah, zakat, etc, without having a love for people who do those actions? Doesn't Allah say many times that He loves the obedient, the fasting, etc, and not just the acts themselves?
With a person, we love them for the good in them and hate them for the bad in them- if they are a Muslim, then their eman 'overcomes' our hatred for them, even if they are a faasiq who should be criticised, and vice versa with kuffar. BUT WHAT THIS LOVE/HATE ACTUALLY MEANS MUST BE UNDERSTOOD IN RELATION TO THE ABOVE PARAGRAPHS!!
As Ibn Uthaymeen said, we love the cure that Allah provides through medicine, but we hate the fact that it tastes bitter!
Sometimes some people don't make the distinction between types of love clear, and this is when problems arise- as was said, Islamic love and hate isn't like Hollywood!
Salaam Alaykum
By the grace of Allah I have been muslim since I was 14. However, I have met many brothers who state that we need to have hate against the Kuffar.
If we hate the kuffar. than how can we feel that sense of sympathy where we can strive to invite them. As hating can effect the way a person deals with an individual.
My mother whom I love, is not a muslim. Neither is my father. Should I have kariha in my heart for them. If so this is something that is very difficult to accomplish.
As they never turned me away when i became muslim. They gave me a place to stay when I got married etc....
Loving and Hating for the sake of Allah as I understand is as follows; we hate the actions of kufr but not the individuals. Can anyone clarify.
Barak Allahu Feekum
The student of knowledge responded:
My dear beloved brother you need to differentiate between:
1) Disbelievers who show enmity to Islam
2) Disbelievers who are not fighting your religion in any form
You need to differentiate between:
1) Natural feelings of love i.e. parents, children and etc..
2) loving for Allah sake and hating for Allah sake in general.
An answer to my beloved brother's questions:
This is the answer for your question from the Quran: {لَا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ }
{ Allah does not forbid you respecting those who have not made war against you on account of (your) religion, and have not driven you forth from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly; surely Allah loves the doers of justice.} [ Sura Al-Mumtahana: Verse 8]
This is the answer for you from Sunnah:
فعن أسماء بنت أبي بكر رضي الله عنهما قالت : قدمتْ عليَّ أمِّي وهي مشركة في عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستفتيتُ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت : قدمتْ عليَّ أمِّي وهي راغبة أفأصل أمي ؟ قال : نعم صِلِي أمَّك
Asma' daughter of Abu Bakr reported: I said: Messenger of Allah, my mother, who is inclined or scared has come to me. Should I (even An her position of being opposed to Islam) treat her well? He said: Yes.[ Agreed upon; Sahih Muslim:1003 and sahih Bukhari: 2477]
My brother loving your parents, pleasing them and obeying them - as long as they do not command you to commit a sin- is something that pleases Allah - Subhanu Wa Ta'la.
My beloved brother the reason that drive you to hate a disbeliever for Allah sake in such case is because of the Kufr they are upon and not because of them as individuals ( smile). Did not you see that at time a disbeliever enters Islam the much you hated him for Allah sake immediately change to a love for Allah sake (smile)
May Allah make it easy for you and open your parents hearts to Islam, especially after knowing how they treated you after entering Islam, which is a bliss from Allah, Alhamdullah.
Wallahu A'lam
A non-student of knowledge then said:
Its waajib to hate the kaafir himself and not just his kufr.
You cant separate between the deed and the doer this makes no sense at all, as who is doing it?
This confused the initial questioner, who said:
If I understand you correctly than I should hate my mother and my father???
Another student of knowledge clarified:
Jazakumullahu khairan.
We should not understand love and hate from the way they are depicted in Hollywood!
In Islam, love and hate are not just emotional feelings. They are positions which one takes from someone or something.
Omar RAA told the Prophet ASWS: I love you more than everything except myself. Then a few seconds later said: Now I love you more than I love myself.
Had love been just an emotional feeling, Omar RAA would not have been able to change it so soon. It takes time for emotions to change.
Love is a positive position which you take between you and yourself toward something. It includes respect, appreciation, admiration, affiliation … etc. Hate is a negative position.
Having emotional feelings towards your Christian wife, the mother of your children, is normal. However, you have to have a Shar’ee hatred, a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT.
Wallahu A’lam.
The first student of knowledge told the initial questioner:
My dear beloved brother do not confuse yourself with it because this confusion is a result of understanding the terms ( hate) and ( Love) from a western perspective. Thus, if you wish to explain this matter you need to explain first to them what hate and love stands for in Islam so that they do not mix it up with their own understanding to such feelings.
As a result, distinguish between Human being emotions and feelings and Islamic feelings which do not contradict each other in such case ( smile)
It is correct to say: I love my wife as I am ordered by Allah ( treat her with love, mercy, respect, justice and kindness) BUT at the same time i have "a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT."
He (student of knowledge) continued:
My dear brother,
I believe that you do have misunderstanding about what love means here!! Again you need to distinguish between personal feelings and Shari'a feelings and stand. The prophet loved his uncle and he was a disbeliever!!!
If you refer to the Hadith which is:
Narrated By Anas: A man asked the Prophet about the Hour (i.e. Day of Judgment) saying, "When will the Hour be?" The Prophet said, "What have you prepared for it?" The man said, "Nothing, except that I love Allah and His Apostle." The Prophet said, "You will be with those whom you love." We had never been so glad as we were on hearing that saying of the Prophet (i.e., "You will be with those whom you love.") Therefore, I love the Prophet, Abu Bakr and 'Umar, and I hope that I will be with them because of my love for them though my deeds are not similar to theirs. [Agreed upon]
Imam Al-Nawawi said:
From the virtues of loving Allah and his messenger is to obey their commands and stick fast to the manners and etiquettes of Islam
it is not conditional to do as exact good deeds as the pious people you love because if you do you will be one of them.
As you can see here: this love is combined with the wish to follow what those he/she loves. Thus, if this love, which is a normal feeling to have, toward a disbeliever i..e wife, parents without the wish to follow their way or what they do which is against our religion then it is fine. However, on the same time this love must be combined with what Islam implements on us to have ""a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT."
Wallahu A'lam
He answered another question, saying:
My dear beloved brother,
I believe you still confuse the meaning of love and always bring it back to the western understand of such feeling. Thus, I blame only myself for not being able to bring out my words in best way so that it is clear, so inshallah you forgive my short come.
Let me put it this way:
There is a big different between love that comes out as natural due to blood relationship i.e. parents, family, children and such so and the so called love that happens due to admiration to some traits in people. I still argue the second type is not love but rather just an admiration. Thus, this differentiation will assist you to know which type of love that leads to imitation!
The First type of love does not lead to imitation, although it may happen if Islam is not there, as it is the Fitra , which Allah planted in your heart that caused this love whether the father or the mother has bad characters or not. On the other hand, the second type of so called love happens after anticipating some aspects of someone or something that your initiative feelings toward him/her/it is neutral which makes the shift of feelings a personal choice you have made.
You argue that loving family members who happen to be disbelievers will lead the person to imitation them!! I ask you here: which type of love you mean? If it is the first type of love then I say you are wrong because of the following evidences:
1. The Prophet loved his uncle as it is known and that was not criticized by Allah.
2.The companions showed their love to their family memebers who were disbelievers and the prophet never criticized them for that because it was natural feeling.
3. Allah says: {Lo! thou (O Muhammad) guidest not whom thou lovest, but Allah guideth whom He will. And He is best aware of those who walk aright.} [ Sura Al-Qassas: verse 55]
Yet, let me remind everyone that this love should not be on the account of Allah's love because in cases where confronting to happen, Allah's love overpower the natural emotions. So, as can be noted, This natural emotions of love is not left loose but put into the right path.
The second point here, is about the Hadith you quoted and we explained in my previous reply. Please note that this type of love, mentioned in the Hadith, is listed under the second type of love which we explained.
This type of feeling is completely different to the natural love because this love is a result of a personal anticipation to someone's character and other external factors that led this person to love that particular person. Yes, this type of love leads to imitation therefore we must pick the right ones to love in this case as this will lead to imitate them in some point. However, if a disbeliever has some good traits like honesty, trust worthy and such so then we can love these traits in him as exactly the
The prophet loved the traits of Hatim Al-Tai'e.( anyway the reason behind having such love is because such traits are already existed in Islam).
Sum up:
Love is either a natural feeling ( blood-relationship) which is allowed in Islam even if the person who we love here is a disbeliever as long as it does not affect our love to Allah
and his messenger. ( Note: this type of love normally does not lead to imitation)
OR
It is type of feeling that resulted upon a personal choice to people whom nothing linked us to them. In this case, we must pick the righteous and the good ones to love as it will lead us to imitate them and be a reason for us to be gathered with in the Judgment day. Yet, that does not forbade us to love specific traits that some have even if they were disbelievers.
Keep in mind that ( love & hate) is understood as Islamic terms not as western terms because Hate here as Shaikh Haitham said, means: ""a firm negative position, toward her because she adopts a belief which is insulting to Allah SWT.""
I hope my words are clear for you now and to be understood correctly.
Wallahu A'lam
Some Arabic: ملتقى أهل الحديث - عرض مشاركة واحدة - هل يجب أن أحب مدينة الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام،،أكثر مما أحب ((نجداً))؟؟
Something to think about (from a non-student of knowledge):
We don't say, as the misguided Christians say, 'Hate the sin and love the sinner'
Think about it- do we love salah, zakat, etc, without having a love for people who do those actions? Doesn't Allah say many times that He loves the obedient, the fasting, etc, and not just the acts themselves?
With a person, we love them for the good in them and hate them for the bad in them- if they are a Muslim, then their eman 'overcomes' our hatred for them, even if they are a faasiq who should be criticised, and vice versa with kuffar. BUT WHAT THIS LOVE/HATE ACTUALLY MEANS MUST BE UNDERSTOOD IN RELATION TO THE ABOVE PARAGRAPHS!!
As Ibn Uthaymeen said, we love the cure that Allah provides through medicine, but we hate the fact that it tastes bitter!
Sometimes some people don't make the distinction between types of love clear, and this is when problems arise- as was said, Islamic love and hate isn't like Hollywood!