Paranoia

[Muslimahb]

Asalaamu alaikum sisters and brothers

I really need advice and also a few attentive ears/eyes please. I have a really bad problem of over thinking and becoming paranoid about people around me. So much so, that it affects how I interact and relate to people and then I spend so much time dwelling on my interactions and become regretful towards how I behaved, reacted etc....

Some examples:

Sisters in a gathering didn't seem that enthusiastic to do Salaam with me....omg do they all hate me??

Trying to visit someone's house to congratulate them on something and we can't seem to find the right day that we're free and so are they, in order to visit their house. So I approach the sister and she says the fact you thought about us is enough, no need for formalities, but youre welcome to pop down whenever.... does this mean she rather we not come...why does she not like me (then I start to go through my history of interactions with her...and I conclude in my head that she doesn't like me cos of X Y and Z and then start to feel remorseful and further think of all the other people who don't like me...or are avoiding me)

Sending messages to a sister after making a joke in a group...and she doesn't respond or only after a whole and I start to regret sending the joke...Maybe it was in ill taste...

Questions asked or examples given during a gathering...omg are they discussing our recent interaction???

No one responding to my input in the group but previously responded to another sister...am I seen as a outcast?? Why are they not commenting to mine..???


Does anybody else have a similar problem ?? What do I do??

Please help, jazakh Allah khair

 

[lailathemuslim]

Ya Allah help you sister and give you the best, ameen.

I think you should read surah nas or falaq whenever you feel paranoia. I think its just waswasa and you should ignore it. I think those interactions you mentioned are pretty positive and show you have good friends ma sha Allah, so not to worry.

I will make some duas for you, in sha Allah these thoughts will go away from you and be replaced with peace and coolness, I ask Allah to give you that

 

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

I think what you described is normal for a lot of people... to an extent.

Perhaps you place too much value on what other people think about you and that would be something you could re-evaluate. If you don't think their perception of you is so important, you won't overthink it.

 

[Evo]

Aslm, I have experience with the EXACT same things. You're not alone.. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, which is exactly what you're experiencing.. Same symptoms... Maby go see a doctor about it... But you should also Recite last 3 surahs of Quran often as prescribed and try very very hard to ignore those negative thoughts and counter them with good positive thoughts. I make Dua Allah heals us both

 

[Muslimahb]

Jazakh Allah khair for your replies !! May Allah bless you all for taking the effort to reply and grant you goodness. Ameen.

To the brother above who mentioned I place too much importance in what other people thing. I wish it were that simple. That is not the case. For a while I thought to myself that it was. But there are a great many things that I do that are against that: I do not do things just to please people...a great many times I have cut across and rejected going to places/gatherings or stood up for something that i thought was morally/religiousy wrong and not 'gone with the crowd'. How could I be just pleasing people in the above cases/or placing too much important on the opinions if I don't do it all the time?

Thank you for the commentor who mentioned anxiety. I have thought for a while I might it have but I always think people with anxiety have much worse symptoms than mine and perhaps I'm over reacting? I really don't know... may Allah us all ease


Ameen to you all your duas

 

[RisingLight]

No one responding to my input in the group but previously responded to another sister...am I seen as a outcast?? Why are they not commenting to mine..???


Does anybody else have a similar problem ?? What do I do??

lol i totally understand you... i also have anxiety because of many things that happened in my life for years,but i dont think its cuz of that....i also get ignored in groups or everywhere online,but then if someone ends up talking to me one on one for a period of time,they end up liking me,even loving me....but in groups or other places online no matter what i say or do i am ignored lol...and i have reached the conclusion that we think diff than these people...we are kinda ''weird'' in a good way and we also have a high state of psychology...we are hard to be understood,thats why in a one on one talk for some time they slowly get into our weird bubble and understand us.....my advice is: screw it,do what you like,expect nothing in return,and dont care about anybody...as long as it isnt haram do whatever you like,nobody cares about us the way we think they care,and even ifff they talk bad for us behind our backs then thats great,we get their good deeds...just be yourself...and also go to that sis she actually wants you to go for a visit

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Muslimahb;and welcome to the forum;

I have a really bad problem of over thinking and becoming paranoid about people around me. So much so, that it affects how I interact and relate to people and then I spend so much time dwelling on my interactions and become regretful towards how I behaved,

I am only seventy, so I am guessing I am slightly older than you.

I have learned you have two choices in life, you hope that other people will change; or you change yourself! Both options are incredibly difficult, but the easier option is to change your own perception of others, because that is the only option you have control over.

You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to Allah, we are all a part of his wonderful creation, despite all our apparent flaws. Search for the good that is in every single person on this earth, we are all a mixture of good and evil - encourage the good. A story from my past.....

I believe I was unfairly sacked in 2011 from a job I had been doing for ten years. I never had a day of sick, I did a lot of jobs other people seemed afraid to do, caring for people with challenging behaviour. A colleague I had been working with for a few years, witnessed an event that would have helped my defence, she said she would write a witness statement for me. But the manager told her she should not write this statement; so she didn’t. This lady died unexpectedly a couple of months later, my prayers were that I have forgiven her, and that God also forgives her.

Since being sacked; I have done about two thousand hours of voluntary work for the people who sacked me. On occasions, I come into contact with the people responsible for my sacking, I pray that God will bless them and give them peace.

It has been easier for me to do two thousand hours of voluntary work, rather than to hold onto any anger; resentment and hate I could have for them. I know this to be true; because in the past I have lived with real anger; I know how it has made me feel; it eats away at the soul and makes you feel miserable. I am determined that I will not be controlled by anger; I just don’t have the time or energy for those emotions any more.
When you come to terms with forgiving from the heart and are in a position to pray a blessing for your ‘enemies’. I believe you can experience an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

In the spirit of praying for a peace that surpasses all understanding,
Eric

 

[Desert]

I don't know but I have schizophrenia
It's killing me makes me delusional

Just stick to your relationship with Allaah
That's what I can't do in my schizophrenia

You are special just don't be sad
Be happy...

 

[Muslimahb]

Subhan Allah brother you are so strong masha Allah. I pray I can reach a similar state wherein it becomes easier to forgive those around me who do intentionally or unintentionally cause me hurt. May Allah bless you for your mercy and resilience and grant you better rizq than ever before. Ameen.

- - - Updated - - -

Apologies the precious message for brother Eric*** I need to get a hang of this quoting thing!

 

[BayAreaWhiteMan]

Paranoia begets paranoia. Talk to those close to you to obtain new perspective.

 

[Muslimahb]

lol i totally understand you... i also have anxiety because of many things that happened in my life for years,but i dont think its cuz of that....i also get ignored in groups or everywhere online,but then if someone ends up talking to me one on one for a period of time,they end up liking me,even loving me....but in groups or other places online no matter what i say or do i am ignored lol...and i have reached the conclusion that we think diff than these people...we are kinda ''weird'' in a good way and we also have a high state of psychology...we are hard to be understood,thats why in a one on one talk for some time they slowly get into our weird bubble and understand us.....my advice is: screw it,do what you like,expect nothing in return,and dont care about anybody...as long as it isnt haram do whatever you like,nobody cares about us the way we think they care,and even ifff they talk bad for us behind our backs then thats great,we get their good deeds...just be yourself...and also go to that sis she actually wants you to go for a visit

Salaam Alaikum brother
Jazakh Allah khair so much for your uplifting reply! May Allah bless you for uplifting another Muslim and grant you ease and Barakah. Truly I agree with your experience of...when someone sits me with one on one, we generally hit it off but I'm not as good in social gatherings.

In sha Allah I will follow your advice as best I can! I think as I've gotten older I've become more bothered about people...I wish I was as carefree as when I was when I was younger but khair...

May Allah make it easy for us all

Jazakh Allah khair once again

- - - Updated - - -

Paranoia begets paranoia. Talk to those close to you to obtain new perspective.

I agree most of the times I've spoken to someone I've felt better but at the moment...I've not had the opportunity and nobody seems to want to engage with me..

 

[Saeeda Shaikh]

Thank you very much for sharing your conditions. It really help me to overcome my negative thoughts. Jazakaallah khair

May Allah grant you complete shifa !

 

['Abdullah]

Sometimes Allah allows us to taste the bitterness of this world so that we can fully appreciate the sweetness of faith.

 

[M.I.A.]

Asalaamu alaikum sisters and brothers

I really need advice and also a few attentive ears/eyes please. I have a really bad problem of over thinking and becoming paranoid about people around me. So much so, that it affects how I interact and relate to people and then I spend so much time dwelling on my interactions and become regretful towards how I behaved, reacted etc....

Some examples:

Sisters in a gathering didn't seem that enthusiastic to do Salaam with me....omg do they all hate me??

Trying to visit someone's house to congratulate them on something and we can't seem to find the right day that we're free and so are they, in order to visit their house. So I approach the sister and she says the fact you thought about us is enough, no need for formalities, but youre welcome to pop down whenever.... does this mean she rather we not come...why does she not like me (then I start to go through my history of interactions with her...and I conclude in my head that she doesn't like me cos of X Y and Z and then start to feel remorseful and further think of all the other people who don't like me...or are avoiding me)

Sending messages to a sister after making a joke in a group...and she doesn't respond or only after a whole and I start to regret sending the joke...Maybe it was in ill taste...

Questions asked or examples given during a gathering...omg are they discussing our recent interaction???

No one responding to my input in the group but previously responded to another sister...am I seen as a outcast?? Why are they not commenting to mine..???


Does anybody else have a similar problem ?? What do I do??

Please help, jazakh Allah khair

Yes, similar here..

Mine got so bad that I would look out of the window and see someone's nephew.. and know that his uncle would be passing through the day after.

It was awful.

In the end I just stopped reacting.

Stopped sinning.. I dont want to be the enabler or the excuse.

Stopped imposing myself on people or even trying to make conversation.

Put me to work.

..Let me forget.

I feel I'm not nearly clever enough to hit as hard as they do..

Or never really planned to do so anyway.


Anyway, when so many things are willing to tell you what you are..

You just have to show them differently to stop it.


The more doors in your head you leave open, the more comfortable the shaitan will be in it.

..I suppose the opposite is also true, maybe god works through everyone..

I just think I was a lot happier for 26 years of my life not having to think or hear a thought..or worry about what I'm doing and what iv done.

I don't buy into being crazy though..

I'm a scientist.

It's always better to give the textbook answer.. because knowing and being are two different things.

Nobody really knows what tomorrow holds..

“The evil eye is true, and if there is anything that would precede Predestination, it would be the evil eye.''

I feel bad because the tenet of faith is predestination..

Not the evil eye.

So I hope and pray everything will fall away in due time..

Allah swt distance our sins from us and lead us to success.

 

[Flawed]

I don't know but I have schizophrenia
It's killing me makes me delusional

Just stick to your relationship with Allaah
That's what I can't do in my schizophrenia

You are special just don't be sad
Be happy...

Maybe you can write out your thoughts down and then later on the day you can take a look at them in an objective way and really ask your yourself if they are true or false or you just don't know. Once you learn and realise they just thoughts you can switch them with your daily duaas as duas are your weapon against anything delusional and false.

But first you as a person need to be aware that these thoughts are delusional and have no power. It will take a lot of time to do this but you should start training yourself to view them as thoughts and not attach any feelings to them and constant duaas will definitely improve your situation.

Also if you can please do seek professional help sister.