parent troubles

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alluminati

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so recently after converting to islam, my parents who are roman catholic have been critical with my sudden change to islam and are saying that this is a fanatical religion, they called me insane and that i need help and took the qu'ran and decided to take the internet away at home because it was poisoning my mind and that they might get a psychologist or a priest from a church to talk to me, which of course led me to call them out and question them on how they can say such things about something they do not know much about except from what they hear. This argument came after i tried to ask my parents to take me to a place for daily prayer and of course they began questioning everything i was doing and such.

I am at a loss of words brothers and sisters, what should i do? I have no muslim friends or anyone for support and my parents are strict to try and "fix" me because i was talking "nonsense".
 
wow sob7an Allah.. I am sorry for your troubles akhi..
perhaps now that you've told them, you can give them time to digest it all by just backing off completely.. Sometimes the more you say the more you can inflame a situation. They're just probably at a loss of how they should deal with this.. just take it slowly and go easy on them, they're still your parents and they love you.. They'll probably try everything from reviling the religion, vilifying Muslims to calling for an exorcism .. you must bear with good patience and ask Allah swt for patience, help and guidance insha'Allah..

may Allah swt make it easy for you..
 
I'm so sorry to her that brother, may Allah make it easy for you, many reverts have been in your shoes, one revert I know, his family made him talk to a councillor and priest, in the end he moved out and got married, and his family came round eventually. Be patient and stay strong, Allah see's you struggling for his cause and will reward you for it.

You can make muslim friends bro, you could go to the masjid near you if there is one and strike up a conversation with a brother or two and make friends, i'm sure if they heard your situation they'd be able to sympathize, maybe you could even tell your story to the imam of the masjid, he should give you support.

and you have muslims friends online, we're here for you, maybe not in person but our hearts and dua's are with you. Try reassuring them that your still the same person you just have different beliefs now such as there's only 1 god etc.

They may say you have bad beliefs but tell them it's unfair of them to say that without studying your religion and what it says because one can't form a fair opinion on something he doesn't know or understand.

Alot of non muslims are victims of the media, they've been plugged into the matrix so to put it, and your mind has become free, you're unplugged from the system but they're still plugged in to the news reports that make Muslims look bad so they can't understand why you'd accept a religion that is in the news all the time for only bad things.

But you can show them the beauty of Islam through your good actions and manners, tell them you will all ways respect and love them and take care of them because Islam places a high emphasis on looking after parents.

I think other reverts will be able to give you better advise inshaAllah cos they've been through it.
 
My parents are treating me in a similar way but all I can tell ya is to just be patient and take it with time. When I first started wearing hijab my parents said they didn't want to be seen anywhere in public with me because of it. My father actually yells at me for dressing modestly. Very strange to me since most fathers would be excited to see their daughter cover up. But I just kept wearing it and then eventually they stopped pestering me about it as much. I still get some comments here and there but it's not nearly as bad as it was before.

Just continue to learn and follow the religion and they'll recognize the change in you and see that it is not bad at all. It's a tough road, because they're your parents and you don't want to hurt them but you also don't want to disobey Allah. Just be patient, make lots of dua and keep up with the prayer. That's what is helping me get through. Let them know you love them and just keep doing what you need to.

Also, is there an MSA where you go to school? Before I reverted to Islam, I joined the MSA and I made some Muslim friends that way. If not remember you have us here too.

May Allah strengthen you and keep you on the right path. Ameen.
 
thank you very much brothers and sisters, Aprender there is no MSA where i currently am, only a masjid nearby which is not really nearby but have plans about visiting now after thinking about possible ways to and fro since I cannot drive yet.
Insha'Allah we will be guided (thank you all for advice and for those who may post ahead of time!)
 
alluminati said:
thank you very much brothers and sisters, Aprender there is no MSA where i currently am, only a masjid nearby which is not really nearby but have plans about visiting now after thinking about possible ways to and fro since I cannot drive yet.
Insha'Allah we will be guided (thank you all for advice and for those who may post ahead of time!)
Click to expand...

Nice to hear from you brother I was wondering how you were, don't forget us, make sure you come back and let us know how you got on :D
 
:sl: Brother,

Masha Allah good advice has already been given. Stay strong brother. May Allah's help and guidance be with you in every moment of your life. Ameen





General advice from Prophet Muhammad (sall’allahu alayhi wasallam) when you are in distress or suffering from anxiety:

In hadith #599 narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas in Sunan Abu Dawood, The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.



When in distress or difficulty or sorrow:

Source for this dua subsection: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, no 128
1. Ibn ‘Abbas reported, “The Prophet, peace be upon him, at times of sorrow and grief used to supplicate, La ilaha illa Allah Al-’Azim, Al-’Alim, la ilaha illa Allah, Rabbul ‘arshil ‘Azim, la ilaha illa Allahu, Rabbus-Samawati wa rabbul ardi wa rabbul ‘arshi karim (There is no god but Allah, the Mighty, the Forbearing, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the mighty throne, there is no god but Allah, the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and the Lord of the throne of honor)’.”
Source: Bukhari and Muslim.
2. Anas said that when the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would always supplicate, “Ya Hayyu, ya Qayyumu, bi-rahmatika astaghithu (O the Living, O the Eternal, I seek help in Your grace)."
Source: Tirmidhi
3. Abu Hurairah reported that whenever the Prophet, peace be upon him, was faced with a serious difficulty, he would raise his head to the sky and supplicate, “Subhan-Allah al-’Azim (glory be to Allah, the Mighty).” And when he implored seriously and strongly, he would say, “Ya Hayyu, Ya Qayyum (O the Living, the Eternal One).”
Source: Tirmidhi


4. Abu Bakrah reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplications of distress are,‘Allahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ain, wa aslah li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaha illa anta (O Allah, I hope for Your mercy, so give me not over to my self even for as little as wink of an eye, and set right all my affairs, there is no god but You).”
Source: Abu Daw’ud



5. Asma, daughter of ‘Amais, reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, asked her, “Shall I tell you words that you may say in times of pain or distress. These are,‘Allah, Allah, Rabbi la ushriku bihi shai’an (Allah, Allah, my Lord, I associate none with Him).” Another narration says that these words should be said seven times.
Source: Abu Daw’ud


6. Sa’d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “The supplication made by the Companion of the Fish (Prophet Yunus) in the belly of the fish was, ‘La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka, inni kuntu minadh-dhalimin (there is no god but You, You are far exalted and above all weaknesses, and I was indeed the wrongdoer)’. If any Muslim supplicates in these words, his supplication will be accepted.”
In another report we read, “I know words that will cause Allah to remove one’s distress. These are the words (of supplication) of my brother Yunus, peace be upon him.”
Source: Tirmidhi



7. Ibn Mas’ud reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “If any servant of Allah afflicted with distress or grief makes this supplication, his supplication will be accepted: ‘O Allah, I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of your maidservant. My forehead is in Your hand. Your command conceming me prevails, and Your decision concerning me is just. I call upon You by every one of the beautiful names by which You have described Yourself, or which You have revealed in Your book, or have taught anyone of Your creatures, or which You have chosen to keep in the knowledge of the unseen with You, to make the Qur’an the delight of my heart, the light of my breast, and remover of my griefs, sorrows, and afflictions‘.” A supplication in these words will be answered. Allah will remove one’s affliction and replace it with joy and happiness.
Source: Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Hibban



8. Anas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to supplicate, “O Allah, there is no ease except what You make easy, and you alone can turn a difficulty into ease.” (Ibn As-sinni)
Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 4, #131



9. Allah’s Apostle used to say at the time of difficulty, “None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Majestic, the Most Forbearing. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Lord of the Tremendous Throne. None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, the Lord of the Heavens and the Lord of the Honourable Throne.”
Source: narrated by Ibn Abbas in Sahih Bukhari, volume 9, #526.




Link to the original article: http://makkah.wordpress.com/2006/12/02/stress-management-part-2/
 
After much thinking and coming to an apparent stone wall with my parents, i decided that i will wait around 1 year when i shall be leaving home for university that i can truly begin my conversion to islam since i must respect the rules of the house, but also because i am denied many chances to explain or to try and reason when talking with my parents, and it would not be true faith.
 
don't let them treat you like a kid, your beliefs are non of their business, just keep up your prayers and avoid an outward display of faith
 
We enjoined man to show kindness to his parents, for with much pain his mother bears him, and he is not weaned before he is two years of age. We said: ‘Give thanks to Me and to your parents. To me shall all things return. But if they press you to serve besides Me deities you know nothing of, do not obey them. Be kind to them in this world, and follow the path of those who turn to Me. To Me you shall return, and I will declare to you all that you have done. Surah . 31:14-15
 
Thanks a lot brothers and sisters, I continue praying and adhering to the teachings of the qu'ran and Islam, and really i cannot deny that I have not felt this positive for many years. Praise be to Allah.
 
SubhanAllah , just be persistent in your faith without showing much to your parents, do not indulge in arguments with them, just tell them politely if they ask about something, otherwise do not even mention anything about islam. Be happy, smiling infront of them, be obedient and they are bound to notice the nice changes in you InshAllah, and that will make them think over their reaction.
 

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