Parents against marriage

[anonymous]

Re: Reason for disliking the advice section

You should try not to be angry at your parents over a matter which doesn't revolve around certainty; neither you, nor they know what is to come. Prayer and patience are given a special place in all situations. Jabir bin Abdullah (RA) reports the Istikhaarah as a beneficial prayer for anyone wishing to seek advice from Allah. The Istikhaarah is more than advice; it is also a means of asking Allah to make the right choice easier for you.

As for your parents; they have every right to advise you in any matter about your life, although this doesn't mean they have the right to force any decision upon you; you still have to respect that they are your parents. You may disagree with them, but it doesn't need to involve anger.

Whatever haram other girls maybe participating in; their parents maybe supporting them more than yours support you. This dunyah is a trial. Those who chose this dunyah; Allah gives it to them, but they have nothing in the Aakhirah. Don't be disappointed or angry over such matters, if the dunyah was meant to be a place of ease for the mu-min; the most pious mu-min would have the least troubles in life. Of course we know this isn't the case; Rasoolullah :saws1: faced much hardship throughout his life.

I regret a lot making that post. It was very stupid of me to mention what my friends do. It's none of my business what they do and to everyone their deeds. I should be dead grateful that Allah guided me and protected me.

Astaghfirullah for what I said about my parents too. I'm so sorry for being so arrogant. I could never compensate them for what they've done for me, not even a tiny bit. I can't believe that my hands wrote such words. Just in one second I forgot everything they did and suffered for our sake.

 

[anonymous]

Muhaba, I assumed running away (i.e. away from the family) from this:

Yes, I saw that as one of the possible options (not in a serious manner). Your suggestion was good by the way. Jazakallah.

I think I will do what I can and leave the rest in the hands of Allah insha'Allah. JzkAllah everyone.

Do you think I should ask for this thread to be deleted? I'm afraid it'd be a cause of fitnah for younger sisters.

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

A girl loves a guy, but her parents won't let her marry him, only because he's from a different nationality and culture, and for what people would say. She tries to kindly win her parents' consent, but they keep disregarding her and won't agree. She hasn't done anything haraam with the guy as they're both religiously committed al-hamdulillah.

What options does she have?

1. Move on, marry someone else and stay patient.

2. Cut the ties of kinship and marry the man she wants to be with. I know that according to many Hadiths the marriage is invalid without the wali's consent. However, in this case the reasons for her parents' disapproval aren't legitimate.

Does she have any other options left?

Asalaamu Alaikum, my sister jazakallahu khayran for sharing your issue with us. This is an issue that is growing especially in the west where more and more Muslims are marrying into other cultures and nationalities and at the same time the first generation who came to this country ie our parents do not agree with it due to their cultural views about how it will be seen by others or them wanting their children to marry those of the same caste or culture or even within the family etc. Islamically if a potential partner is Islamically sound then they should not be rejected without a valid reason and cultural differences is certainly not a valid reason to reject someone.

You should cut off all contact with the brother as staying in touch with a non mahram is not permissable and it will not help your situation. By talking to him in the first place then your feelings and bond will get stronger towards him hence it would be harder to let go and at the same time you will incur sin for staying in touch with a non mahram. Therefore all contact should be cut off and you should firstly ask of Allah to do what is best for you and at the same time go to a reliable and experiened scholar of Islam and ask for his advice on the matter.

My sister you should put your full reliance, trust and faith in Allah that whatever happens in this situation will happen for the best so if you do end up marrying him then it would be the best for you but if you don't then that is also the best for you but whatever you do in life never cut off the ties of kinship as this will be something you will regret forever and if things go wrong then you will lose everything.

Whatever happens in life and no matter how much we disagree with our parents we should NEVER even raise our voice above theirs as Allah has given our parents the highest of status. We must always treat them with the utmost respect and reject and disregard the evil whispers of Satan who is just wanting to create enmity in our hearts for our parents especially if they give us a hard time. Serving ones parents is better than Jihad so serve your parents whilst they are alive for on the day of judgement when we realise the reward we could have gained and how much we could have pleased Allah by serving our parents then we will wish that we spent every second serving our parents in the world.

So my sister treat your parents the best and put your full faith and reliance in Allah and he will certainly do what is best for you and never doubt that. If you do not end up with this guy then it may be that Allah has someone better for you you who would be the best for you in this life and the next.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[S_87]

sister is it possible to discuss this in sisters section?

 

[tigerkhan]

Re: Reason for disliking the advice section

I'm angry at my parents. Do you know how I feel when they put people's stupid thoughts above my, their daughter's happiness? You know what I would normally do? I wouldn't give a **** what my parents think. It's my life, my choice. I'm the one who'll be living with my husband, not them.

I'm sick of this. May Allah forgive me for saying this, but I feel like my parents are very ungrateful. You should see what other girls from my country are doing here. Unlike them, I've never entered a club or dressed the way they do or had a relationship with anyone or done anything else my parents would disapprove {I didn't stay away from haraam for my parents, I did it because of my morals}. Funny, their parents support them more than mine.

ALLAH SWT reward u for this purity and piouty....