Please help!!

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im stuck in a big problem and dont know wat to do so thurt id ask for help..
im a pakistani girl and i have found a guy i want to get married to and hes pakistani too..as we all know majority of the pakistani thinking is to get married in the family..but the guy i wana get married to has told his parents about me and as i expected they have said no and want him to marry his cousin..ive yet to tell my family but me and the guy thurt its best to wait to see wat his family say..the guy dont know whther to stik to marrying me or jus listn to his parents..i know in Islam a child should keep parents hapy but then is he supposed to listn to his family to keep them happy or go with his heart and try get his parents convinced to marry me????
please id be really grateful if someone can help me out here!
Savibah
 
Well, my lovely sister i think i knwo what your going through, first of all before anyone should get married they should think about every single aspect of this event , there's a saying that say that if youre getting married your not only getting married to your spouse but to his whole family. ask yourself do you think that you marrying him will result in big probelms as in ending relationship with his family..etc , i think that you should speak this out with him and think about this deeply before any action i also think that it would be great if you tried to win the hearts of his family members , if he has a sister be her good friend ..ewtc you know. and also try getting some help from an islamic authority or organization to speak to both of your families ............. i hope you the best , and insha, allah i will make duaa for you.. have hope with allah there is nothing impossible keep doing good deeds and pray to Allah to make your relationship a successeful one i hope i helped :)
 
Salaam Sis,

Ask Allah to grant what is best for you . Keep praying. BTW having a relationship outside marriage is not allowed. So , don't mix with the boy anymore .

Offer Istekhara about him ;if u see anything positive , then u may talk to a family member about proceeding here . But don't do anything foolish like getting married secretly .
 
i've said this before and i'll say it again....its easier to marry a female jinn than it is to marry a Pakistani female


My advice is....speak to your parents and see if they can convince the boys parents
 
мυѕℓιмαн 4 ℓιfє;1376781 said:
^ :-\
This thread is old, do you think the Op will come to check it?
Click to expand...
Lol, how on Earth did they dig it now?
 
Tribalism vs Islam

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

It amazes me how in an Islamic forum opinions that are not based upon Quran and Sunnah run fluently.

Many of the traditions practiced are based upon tribalism and not Islam.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 9, Book 92, Number 374:

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

That he heard 'Umar speaking while standing on the pulpit of the Prophet in the morning (following the death of the Prophet), when the people had sworn allegiance to Abu Bakr. He said the Tashah-hud before Abu Bakr, and said, "Amma Ba'du (then after) Allah has chosen for his Apostle what is with Him (Paradise) rather than what is with you (the world). This is that Book (Quran) with which Allah guided your Apostle, so stick to it, for then you will be guided on the right path as Allah guided His Apostle with it."


Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)."

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 69:

Narrated Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya:

that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Allah's Apostle and he declared that marriage invalid.

REVIEW THREAD ON MARRIAGE PROCESS: (Insha Allah)
http://www.islamicboard.com/family-society/134292619-muslim-marriage-process.html
 
just leave it. you can never convince pakistani parents to change their decision regarding marriage.
 
aNgel4Lyf said:
Salaam
im stuck in a big problem and dont know wat to do so thurt id ask for help..
im a pakistani girl and i have found a guy i want to get married to and hes pakistani too..as we all know majority of the pakistani thinking is to get married in the family..but the guy i wana get married to has told his parents about me and as i expected they have said no and want him to marry his cousin..ive yet to tell my family but me and the guy thurt its best to wait to see wat his family say..the guy dont know whther to stik to marrying me or jus listn to his parents..i know in Islam a child should keep parents hapy but then is he supposed to listn to his family to keep them happy or go with his heart and try get his parents convinced to marry me????
please id be really grateful if someone can help me out here!
Savibah
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum, my sister the first thing you should do is cut off all contact with this man. It is totally forbidden for a non mahram girl to be in contact with a non mahram boy and by staying in touch you will never gain any blessings or peace in your pursuit of marrying this man. You should also repent sincerely and be remorseful in the fact that you had a relationship outside of marriage and have the intention never to repeat such an act.

This is just one of the reasons why relationships outside marriage are forbidden because the girl and the boy get into a relationship resulting from friendship and they create these false dreams together which are hardly ever reality and then when it comes to marriage things don't go their way and then they end up in pain and anguish.

A relationship does not mean that whoever one is having the relationship with is the right person. A relationship is also not a guarantee for marrige. It is just two people committing to each other outside of marriage which is devoid of any blessings and usually always goes wrong resulting in pain and leaving scars behind which take a very long time to heal and get over.

Your first relationship should be with your husband not a non mahram before marriage. You have been naive to give yourself to a man before marriage and if things don't go how you want it to go then you will inevitabley be in a great deal of pain. This is the result of your own actions and in life we must take responsibility for the path we choose to take in life.

The best you can do is to cut off all contact and tell him that you want to go about things in the right way now as you fear Allah. If he is fine with this then you should tell your family and get their advice on the matter and see what they think. After not being in touch with him and getting advice from your parents then you should also make isthikhara. If it is positive and your parents also agree in wanting to meet the family as well as his then his family can come and meet yours but if they still do not agree and then leave it to Allah and whatever is best will happens for you and if that means that you do not end up marrying him then you must accept that this is for the best because a relationship is not a marruage and it may be that if you ever did get maried to him that things went so wrong and you would have ended up having a miserable life or even a divorcee.

So accept whatever happens will happen for the best but realise that you can only do the best you can and the rest is upto Allah but you should put your full hope, faith, trust and reliance in Allah and know that he will do what is best for you inshallah.

In the mean time concentrate on getting closer to Allah for time is not on your side. Repent and ask of Allah for forgiveness. Strive to get closer to him and make the best of every second and ANY second could be your last!

Here are some very beneficial lectures to increase your imaan and fear of Allah:

Remembrance: ask Allah for his forgiveness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-EK9r3rMzQ

Angel of Death!!! - Sheikh Ahmed Ali

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzRJXlB2uA

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 1/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieX7ZQtHl0s

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 2/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK_2sVGMW08

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 3/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpmzA2hk1Bo

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - Death (The Destroyer of Pleasures) [part 4/4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=km39GfL62TQ

Imam Anwar al-Awlaki - The Journey of the Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAwHEXE3-n0

HARD HITTING Lecture on HELLFIRE & the Day of JUDGEMENT! يوم القيامة والجحيم

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0O6L_fBk7VM

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 1/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTehIeCOUU

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 2/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXTtk7rWx_U

Sheikh Ahmad Ali - Hellfire Talk Part 3/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmiD86w9fBc

Islam - Punishment of the Grave by Sheikh Riyadh ul Haq

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWb-hYIm2WE

Death and the Grave by Murtaza Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r2nzJVecqo

How can we not appreciate what we have after watching this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkEBUC0APMg


AMAZING short speech -"The Goodly Life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fugf1DcNyc


Here are some very beneficial articles for you to help you on your journey to Jannah and to make best use of every second of your life in this world:

10 Steps to Increasing our Iman(Faith)

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134290404-10-Steps-to-Increasing-our-Iman(Faith)

30 ways the youth should spend everyday of their lives!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...he-youth-should-spend-everyday-of-their-lives!

Easy Dhikr which is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...s-light-on-the-tongue-but-heavy-on-the-scales!

My Daily Ibadah (worship) check!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134289943-My-Daily-Ibadah-(worship)-check!

10 steps to getting closer to Allah

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthread.php?134292389-10-steps-to-getting-closer-to-Allah

Forty Very Easy, Quick & Rewarding Good Deeds for all of us to do Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...rding-Good-Deeds-for-all-of-us-to-do-Everyday!

Not praying Salaah 5 times a day? Here's the solution!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...ying-Salaah-5-times-a-day-Here-s-the-solution!

VERY Rewarding Nafl Salaahs we can Pray Everyday!

http://www.islamicboard.com/showthr...Y-Rewarding-Nafl-Salaahs-we-can-Pray-Everyday!

Please remember me in your dua's.

and Allah knows best in all matters
 
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